Counting Stars • [Casey x Izzie]

Unapologetic

Evan

I knocked on an unfamiliar door in an unfamiliar neighborhood. I stood outside of her house in loose khakis and a thin shirt, which apparently was my statement look. I kind of liked my clothes even though they were usually simple. I was comfortable and that's what mattered to me.

After a few knocks and a couple moments of patience the door finally opened.

She looked tired, not the kind of exhausted from running or working all weekend kind. It seemed like she had been crying for a while, but the darkened lines beneath her eyes exhibited a bruised look that was too fresh to have healed.

"Hey." She said softy. Her voice sounded like she had a tingling cough that couldn't be washed away by water. The type of croaky that was caused by a person rather than sickness. 

"Hey, are you okay?"

She sniffed. "Uh, y-yeah. I was just helping the kids with homework." She laughed it off. "First grade math really works the brain."

I nodded even though we both knew I didn't believe it.

She opened the door a little wider for me to see the interior of a modest house behind her.

"Come in, I'll go grab your phone."

I stepped inside and watched her climb the stairs to retrieve the phone I had apparently lost when I punched Nate the other night. Luckily, she had me on social media and hadn't blocked me yet.

I just sort of awkwardly stood by the door, taking in the messy array of coloring pens and toys scattered all over the living room's coffee table. I found it extremely- almost terrifyingly- weird to be here, welcomed into the home of the girl that stole my girlfriend. But then again I've changed my mentality about the whole situation between us. 

I don't think of it as if she stole Casey from me, now I see it as Casey choosing her to be who is right for her at this point in her life. It took me way too long to calm down enough to stop seeing red and finally see everything wasn't black and white.

I focussed on the fact that Izzie knew Casey was with me, yet, she tried to take her anyway. And I couldn't see that it wasn't Izzie's fault that she fell in love with her, because it was so easy for me to do the same thing when we first started dating. What I should have paid attention to was how Casey was feeling. Because it wasn't Izzie who I was with. Casey was still with me but she was developing feelings for someone else, and that's something I can't ever blame her for.

Identifying how you feel and accepting it is one of the hardest things that anyone can go through. The process of admitting something to yourself that you're ignored for so long takes a great amount of courage that I could have never imagined. And I see that now. Casey didn't lead me on or play me. She was simply trying to understand her feelings and that took time. So, even if she had feelings for Izzie while she was with me. It definitely wasn't simple for her to get the words from her heart to her brain and out of her mouth. I admired her for that.

"Who are you?" I snapped my head so fast to where the voice came from but it took me a second to notice that it was coming from below.

A young boy with brown curls defensively glared at me from below.

"Uh... I'm Evan."

"Why are you in my house, Evan?"

Now, I can tell that he was related to Izzie. "You sister has something for me."

"Don't steal anything, I know the number for 9-1-1." He glared at me one last time before running up the stairs.

Izzie reappeared as she dodged the brown-haired boy. "Watch out, Jay."