Dance Of Night (A Diabolik Lovers Fanfiction)

Chapter 38 "In case you do hate me"

After Shu was released from his home imprisonment, he disappeared for another month in which few knew where to find him. I myself did not, and was too focused on my own affairs to care at all. Our truce had been broken when she left, and when he came back, neither of us spoke a word to the other, and rarely even saw each other.

After Ayame left, Mother went into frenzy, seeing how that man became obsessed with finding her and giving Cordelia no attention whatsoever. She came to me to take out her frustrations on in possibly inappropriate manners, but I cannot say that I ever cast her away or even tried to, after all it is not like I did not want it. I even enjoyed it most of the times.

But it was sometimes... Sometimes I had this thought nagging at the back of my mind, a thought I tried to push away after she left.

Brown eyes that looked at me with no lust or malice...

A smile that held no second intentions...

A back that faced me with no fear of being stabbed on...

Pale skin and red lips that could shape the most wonderful worlds...

A voice.

I tried with all I could to push her away, to find comfort in the attention my Mother gave me, but ever so persistent, she came back not long after I had confined her off in my memories. It got to the point that I hated her because of the perseverance of her mirage in my head.

She said what I thought she would tell me.

"Are you sure?" she asked in that melodious voice of her.

"Why would you even care?" I replied to her within my own mind, thinking I might be going lunatic, trying to focus again on what I was doing.

"You know I care about you," she said, as her concerned eyes flashed before my eyes, making me forget of where I was for a moment.

"You are not here to tell me what to do," I snapped at her. "Cordelia is all I have left."

"You will always have me..." the voice trailed off.

It never lasted long, her appearance, and as time went on her "visits" became less and less frequent. I did not want to see her anyway, her visits always left me restless and with an odd feeling in my chest. I still hated how she had made me feel. I wanted to forget her. So I unconsciously began to avoid things that ever made me think about her, like irises and dances and forests, and eventually I did not see her at all, and she was out of my mind and heart; I forgot about her.

"You do not miss her, you do not know her," I told myself, until it finally became true.

As the years went by, things with Mother got stranger by the day. Every time I would see her she would be more submerged within herself, more demanding of me, angrier. I began to change because of her, my manners and attitude, change into what I thought she wanted me to be. I never dared to cast her away. After all, I was receiving most of her attention, as Ayato seemed to be ignoring her and Kanato was not called upon by her except to sing a song to her now and then. I myself did not see them much often.

I relished in all the attention she gave me, and never doubted her love for me as she so clearly showed it.

But then my twins, much unlike themselves, decided to interfere.

"Oi," Ayato called my attention one night as I walked the hallway to my room after returning from seeing Cordelia. He leant on the right side of the wall, opposed a piece of furniture on the left side, his hands in his pockets.

I put on my usual sideways smirk and looked at him with a relaxed expression, but in reality it was just an act. My 'fun' personality, as some would have described it, had been one of the things I had given up to please Cordelia, and now I could not be that way even if I wanted to, but I still like to fake the part from time to time, as it annoyed the other residents of the house.