Dance Of Night (A Diabolik Lovers Fanfiction)

Chapter 40 Pt 3 "How I Love You"

Guys, this chapter is over 6000 words long. Enjoy and comment as you please!

Thank you for everything.

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It took me tens of years, but finally there was only one letter left to deliver.

During all of that time, I was careful and waited for just the right time to give each of the letters.

First, Subaru. I did not wait more than a day to give it to him. He looked at the dead flower as I had done, looking to find hope. I did not pretend, I told him what was true.

Next, Kanato. I waited until one of those days in which he was the loneliest. I was surprised when I found him mumbling that song she used to sing sometimes.

Ayato received his letter after he proved himself worthy of receiving it by defending her from his mother, even if she was gone.

Laito took a long time. I was trying to find a time in which he would prove himself worthy as his brother had done, but that time never came. I realized he was going on a downwards spiral, and the only one who could save him was her. That is why I gave him the letter when I did, and indeed, she saved him. Everything changed for him after that letter.

I did not want Reiji to have his letter. How long did I hold on to it, resisting the urge to toss it into a fireplace. It had been many decades until I finally came to terms with the fact that this was what she wanted, and that I did not have a say in it. Even if the letter had been written before that bastard did what he did. So I waited for an opportunity to give it to him without having to interact a lot. Seeing him enraged me in such ways, I did not know what I was capable of. So, after much consideration, I went to one of the family dinners with the letter in my pocket, hoping my presence would stir a commotion fueled by my brothers and that the opportunity would present itself. It could not have been more perfect. After he saved the letter from the flames, much to his own surprise, he locked himself up in his room for about three weeks.

So now, only one letter remained.

Mine.

These decades had been odd for myself. I wanted them to go by as quickly as possible, but each wake moment transcurred painstakingly slow. Everything I did brought pain. I became a master at concealing it, lest when she was mentioned. Walking, feeding, being outside... surviving without her... it all brought such pain. Going on with my life without her brought such pain.

Ah, but there was an exception, a rare consolation with which I counted on constantly as time went by: sleep. I had a dreamless sleep, in which everything would be black for a few hours, but everything would be peaceful. In the darkness of my subconscious state there was no pain, no happiness, nothing but nothingness, and time moved faster, so minutes there were hours here. I lived in that world of darkness for as long as I could.

So, for all of those years, when I was awake I did the least sufficient to survive. Since that man and I had talked he had not given me any tasks to do, oddly enough, but that was better for me, I did not want anything to do with him. Whenever I could, meaning whenever I did not have to do anything concerning the letters or my living needs, I slept. Hence, I spent most of my days sleeping.

What is more, my time in that room had left some repercussions, I began to notice. I could not stand silence anymore. I had spent so much time in that silent room that now, when awake, I needed to have some sort of sound, noise, or music to keep me from being anxious or uncomfortable. I did not like speaking to others or listening to others however, so I just kept to myself and went to places that I knew had some background noise, like the living room with the grandfather clock. Sometimes I even just stayed in my room with the faucet on so that there would not be silence.