truth hurts

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''Ladies first

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''Ladies first.'' Peter flashed me a charming smile, pressing his hand into the small of my back as we walked into the 24h open Starbucks, which surprisingly wasn't empty at 6 in the morning.
The waiter rolled his drowsy eyes as they landed on us, showing how ecstatic he was to attend more people in the break of dawn, the black suited, corporate man sitting in the far corner of the room, on the other hand, didn't even glance up from his computer, continuing to sip his coffee un-bothered.  


''Good morning and welcome to Starbucks. What is it going to be?'' The worker asked us in a well rehearsed, robotic tone. 

My eyes scanned the menu board above our heads for something else rather than coffee to pair my bugging blueberry oatmeal desire while Peter seemed to have his request on cue. 

''I'll have two bacon, cheddar and egg sandwiches and a simple espresso please and thank you.'' He said. 

''Can I have some blueberry oatmeal and a cup of green tea without sugar, please?'' I smiled, trying to show the poor cashier some morning positivity, however he didn't care less and I stepped back, humbled by the reality that not everyone is as appreciative as I wish. 

''You still don't like coffee eh?'' Peter whispered, bumping playfully into me. I didn't look up at him but I bet he was smiling, I could hear it in his voice. 

''No.'' I answered dryly, reminding him of the real nature of our little meeting.  I was only there to hear Peter's side of the story, we weren't friends having a fun chat and I made sure it would stick like that.  

''That'll be 12.87$, please.'' I was handing him a twenty dollar bill before Peter was able to reach for his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans. I hear him wheeze beside me, clearly hinting his opposition to my action, but I ignore. ''Thank you, we will bring you, your orders right away.'' 

Shoving carelessly the received change, into my sweatpants pocket I didn't wait for Peter as I made my way towards a table by the window but surely he trailed behind me and sat down on the opposite end to mine, of the squared table. 

Never before that moment, was there silence between Peter and I; At least not of such an awkward kind, what brought this heavy fret to my stomach. 


I couldn't seem to gain enough courage to speak up. It all still felt unrealistic and a product of my own imagination and I was too busy wondering if Peter did really apologize or it was me hallucinating in panic while still under the shower back in the dorms. 

Furthermore I was angry, and anger intertwines itself with pride. I wasn't going to initiate the conversation, my mindset was still the same and I would never sink towards Peter's feet like that. Luckily he didn't match my ideals

''I have a lot to explain, I should get started.'' Peter said between an awfully forced laugh, snapping me out of the trance I was in. My eyes raised from my white acrylic nails to his and nodded in agreement. ''You can at least say something.'' 

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