Ruled, ᴘᴇᴛᴇʀ ᴋᴀᴠɪɴsᴋʏ

how it always should have been

''So are you together, together? Or just together?'' Isaac asked, his eyes semi closed as he observed our features from across the table. We were gathered at the diner we usually ate at back in the high school days and I was feeling most nostalgic and sort of emotional about it. Even the waitress acknowledged our disappearance and hinted she was sadden by it.

''Is there any difference bro?'' Peter laughed, shoving a fork full of wrecked pancakes into his mouth and eyeing me fondly in between. I smiled shyly to my plate of bacon and scrambled eggs.

We were together, together.

''Isaac honestly!'' LJ talked beside me, before her boyfriend could. She sounded annoyed, something extremely uncharacteristic to the girl. My attention grew sharp. ''Just let the loss sink in! It hurts less!''

''What loss?'' I asked, frowning. I clearly wasn't a fan of the unknown and that much is established.

''You had to speak!'' Isaac protested, widening his eyes at his girlfriend. I exchanged looks with Peter. Both of us were confused and in desperate need of enlightenment.

''Mind filling us in?'' Peter asked.

''LJ and I had a bet going on you two.'' Isaac confessed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest.

''What the hell?'' I turned to my own best friend, who blushed of embarrassment.

''Sorry.'' She mumbled. ''It's just our life is boring.''

''What was it about?'' Peter asked, not at all fazed by it and even a bit interested. I kicked him under the table, hinting I needed his backup, but he didn't seem to care. He simply smirked at me and sipped at his chocolate shake.

''Whether or not you'd be together before summer. I won by the way!'' Lara Jean said proudly, flicking her hair.

''Yeah, we got that.'' Isaac spat. He was really pissed about losing.

''Oh god, where I've reached! Having my best friends gamble on my life.'' I said dramatically, yanking a few chuckles from around the table.

Until it was visiting hour at the hospital the four of us remained at the diner. We kept laughing, recalling times we'd like to relieve, telling stories we'd like to erase from our minds for the cringe was almost unbearable, yet not, if it server as entertainment to entertain the ones we loved. Oh did I love them. They were my everything.

Then we were back. The four of us, walked along the empty and idle maternity corridor. I'd think there were babies being born at all times but my brother was the first that week. Peter's hand was clasped with mine, his thumb drawing circles on my skin to comfort, for he could sense my uneasiness and nervousism. The hand I had free was pulled towards my mouth, my fingernails between my teeth. If they were long before, it was just before.  It was stupid. I knew everything was okay but I still felt like the food I had eaten would project itself out at any second.

''Which room is it again?'' Isaac asked behind us.

''Twelve?'' Peter answered, looking at me for confirmation. I nodded.

''Okay so, or we missed it or we're in wrong wing.'' He said, making Peter and I turn around to face him. He was pointing at a door number that wasn't any close to twelve.