Downfall

Chapter 1 : My Guitar

Where am I? What is this place? Am i dreaming? What in the world of Godzilla am i even doing here? in this kind of place? All i could see is white walls, just walls. i am in a place with only walls. is this even possible? then i guess i am just dreaming after all. A dream or not, i couldn't recall what happened before i got here. i got into this situation. i need to remember what happened. i must remember. Now, that i think about it, i can't remember a thing at all. my name. my family. do i even have one? my age. do i have a boyfriend? everything. it seems i must have been in an accident that causes my brain to forget everything. But why? when? where am i? i still coudn't figure that out, until a light appear in front of me. i didn't recognize it at first but as i was staring at it, i can see it clearly now. Ah. they are my memories. The collection of my memories. It's like i am watching some kind of movie. 

It was on my 5th grade when i got interested in playing the guitar, i have always been a lover of music and when i saw Joshua Millington, a 6th grader boy who is a guitarist and  somehow famous in our school back then, i was mesmerized, not by Joshua but by the guitar, it was like an instrument creating the perfect hymn in that lovely day. A day after that, i asked my grandmother if she could buy me a guitar, i didn't asked my parents because i know what they're gonna say. "it's not yet needed". i was a bit spoiled to my grandmother. i was her favorite grandchild. 

"grandmom, can you buy me a guitar" saying with matching puppy eyes. don't judge me, it really works. trust me.

"what? why do you need a guitar Sammy?" my grandmother replied

"i want to become a guitarist" i said without even knowing what those words really meant

"oh, a guitarist? do your parents even know it?" 

"nope, they'll just get mad. so granny, can you buy me one? pretty please?" this time i said it with much more emotions and much cuter puppy eyes than i ever had done before. 

"hmm, okay, but you have to take care of it, okay" my granny replied while smiling

"okay!" 

A week after that, my granny brought me to places that make guitars. i was really amazed by what i had seen, i felt like i was in a paradise, a paradise of music and lyircs, rhythms and hymns, melodies. It was right in front of me, one of my most favorite things of all. my guitar. This guy was making a guitar for me. He asked me what i wanted it to be and i just answered him

"the most magical guitar that can create heart-warming melodies" 

Yeah, i know what you are thinking. but believe it or not, that was the answer i told him, the answer a 5th grader girl gives him.  

And so, based on my instructions, he made one of the most magical creature of all. Sam's guitar. my own guitar. the guitar i will use in making one of the most amazing songs in this universe. 

And he really did.

it was for me the greatest guitar i could ever have

after it was made, i said a lot of thank you's to my granny, i really took care of the guitar. i was so thankful to my grandma that day. Up until now, i am still grateful

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So my name is Sam, i thought while looking at one of my memories, while still watching it and enjoying it like i'm in some kind of theater, watching the best picture kind of movie, the only difference was, i don't have a popcorn, i wish i could have one. Nope, i guess i need a pasta. the long and tasty one. the pasta with sweet and sour flavor, that has a single slice of cheese on top of it. Yes, i have a weird taste. but i love my pasta that way. I guess, i still remember this kind of thing, i was wondering then, why am i even watching these things? Do they have a purpose? Am i in some kind of reality show? Am i even still dreaming? Am i in heaven? 

heaven.

that last word i thought gave me chills all over my body, i can even hear my stomach growling from hunger, i guess i really need to eat after all, but then again, there is no food available. so i suck the thought in my subconsious in order to stop myself from feeling hungry. And it worked. These days, i'm really getting pretty amazing. 

These days. but i only remember this time, right now. right here. standing in this room sorrounded by walls, watching my memories. it felt weird, but i just went for it.