So, i guess this was the time when i was crying all out because of some guy named Daniel Palmers. Okay, who's Daniel? he was just some jerk who broke my heart into pieces when i was in first year of college. It was during the second semester, at first, i was just having fun by being a textmate with this guy, then out of the ordinary things, i fell for him. i don't know why, how. i just coudn't figure it out. I guess that's what it's like to be in love, or so i thought.
So, he broke my heart like a ton of guys would do, cheat. He cheated on me, he lied to me, he told me he loved me but in fact he didn't. i guess he just wanted to get my virginity just like all the wild animals out there. wait a minute, before you could think of anything out of the box, i didn't lost my virginity to Daniel, i didn't lost it yet, as far as i remember, one thing for sure, i didn't gave my treasure to him. it was like a holy temple, only suited for the right monk to come in, i felt he wasn't the right one, the chosen one, and see, i'm right. i was so close at giving him what he wanted, that jerky beefy kind of guy. i hate him, i really really hate him and i hate myself for actually believing that he loved me.
I was lucky this time because i had a friend to hear my rants, scolding, my screaming, my crying. yes, i cried, who wouldn't? in love or just infatuated, i did get hurt, a lot. One night, i had a chat as usual with Lucas Brown, one of my closest friends who turned out to be my love guru.
It's a funny fact actually, he's a guy who hates girly things, being overly dramatic over some Nicholas Spark's movie "A walk to remember", a guy who definitely doesn't want to hear my dramas. but he did, he had to. he was forced to. i was that controlling. i guess i felt sorry afterwards. So, i told him about my heartbreaking love story with Daniel and all he said was
"Then i guess, it calls for a shot glass!"
"i won't drink. i never drank"
"oh really? so there are still people like you"
"people like me?"
"yes, a unicorn"
"what? why?"
"it's a secret i'll never tell"
"you are being a girl"
"you are being a girl with a broken heart"
"i am"
"okay fine, then just cry it all out, you know sometimes, it's better to just cry, get mad at him. he was really a jerk to you"
i didn't really anticipated that he would say that. him? really? he was loyal to his own kind. but at that time, he chose to be a friend. my friend. i was really thankful.
i got quiet for 5 minutes, so he chatted me again
"are you crying?"
"what if i did?"
"then, good job"
"thanks"
"you know, i have this perfect song for you, listen to this" and he send me a link
it was a link on youtube, a lyrical video of the song "You Suck at Love" by simple plan.
he was a fan of simple plan.
i followed what he said and listened to it, i also ready the lyrics, while listening to the song, some of the lyrics struck me
" i swear i thought you were the one....forever"
"I got burned but you're the real loser, i don't know why i wasted my time with you"
"You can't trust a serial cheater"
yes, he really was a serial cheater
"you are definitely right, i love the song!" i replied
"see? i told you, simple plan songs are just great, unlike your taylor swift songs"
"hey! don't be mean like that, i love taylor swift but this one is like a bomb! it killed me because the lyrics got it all right!"
"yeah, they have a lot of amazing songs, this one's pretty good too" and he sended me a link again
this time it was a song called "Loser of the Year" but the lyrics were not kind of mine, well that couldn't hit me, i mean. but he love the song.
"wait a minute, this song is all about you" i said while giving a grin while typing
"whaaat! no! i just love the song, that's all"
"yeah right, talk to the clouds Brown"
"go ahead and try it first Walters" he said
even if i didn't hear him or i can't see him, i can feel that he was annoyed because i was right. it was a song about him but he just won't accept it, he keeps denying.
"denial"
"you are?"
"no, you are"
"really? now, who was it again who need a comforting because her heart has just got broken?"
"then who was it again who broke up with his girlfriend and clearly he still loves her?"
"you!"
"okay, okay, fine, i got broken hearted, there, i admit it. now, you have to admit that you are still not over her"
"what difference does it make?"
"what do you mean?"
"i mean Walters, what will it make? will it give me a second chance to be with her, will it make her accept me?"
"okay, now you are being dramatic."
"but i am being true, it won't change a thing. just like yours. no matter how many songs you listen, how many tears you have cried, that jerk will always be a jerk and one way or another, he broke your heart"
"ouch, that hurts, saying it again makes it all seem so real."
"haha, sorry, truth hurts" he replied with a wink smiley emoticon at the end of the sentence
"yeah, it really does. anyways, thanks brown"
"you are much welcome ma'am"
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First love? nah, i bet that daniel wasn't my first love. he shouldn't be. a jerk like him. So, now i'm feeling all angry since i got to remember it. i wished i had just forgotten this particular memory since it has no meaning at all. But then again, i realized, why should it be forgotten? In fact, it was not only a memory of me getting all heart broken over some jerk named Daniel, it was also a memory of me getting all the comfort from a friend named Lucas. then i smiled. the most beautiful smile i ever did as far as i'm here. but the tiredness just overflows and without even realizing, i took a power nap
after 15 minutes of sleeping, i woke up, i woke up by the flashing light in the walls, another memory is shown up, another beautiful or sad one. but i had to watch it, i had to, in order to find the answers
YOU ARE READING
Downfall
Teen Fictionwhere am i? what is this place? am i dreaming? i can't remember anything at all