New Beginnings (undergoing editing)

Chapter(3) my own room?

These are not my pictures got them off of google. Liza's room is up top, along with the song she sings later on.

"Lewis is the cook of the house none of the rest of us can cook all that well!" Mark says laughing, "last time we tried we lit the stove on fire and nearly burned the house down." Mark says laughing along with Lewis and I start laughing too.

After the laughing dies down Mark sighs and inhales deeply then leads me into the next room after we take off our shoes. The next room was huge as well! It was the living room and it was pretty, with a huge couch and lots of pillows on the couch too!!! Then I'm taken upstairs, still on Marks back, and the first door on the left is mine. Lewis opens the door for us and reveals my room, (above) it's absolutely amazing and I love it so much!!

Then after I'm done staring at my room, we go across the hall to see Lewis and Mark's room. "We are right there if you need us." Lewis says to me I nod and say "thanks" they say "don't mention it." Beside my room is Toby's room, so I'm surrounded by my brothers. That's going to suck, I get nightmares every damn night so none of them are going to sleep.

Beside Toby's room is the half library room, half music room. On half of the walls there's floor to ceiling shelves covered in books, any kinds of books! Then on the last two walls have mirrors them one with a bar attached to the mirrors, and a white grand piano in the middle of the room. "Whoa! This is amazing!!" I tell them they smile and nod.

I hop off Mark's back and gently land on my feet. I sit down at the piano and start to play Lukas Graham's Love Someone Else piano edition. I used to sing this song to Reese whenever I could. I had it so memorized I could sing it backwards and I did it in French a couple times. God, I miss her so much, she was my rock. My life, and then they just took her away from me.

I finish the song and the boys clap. "Aw thanks people" I tell them, I get up but then Mark picks me up again and then we go to the room beside Mark and Lewis's room. It's an enormous bathroom! Then we head back downstairs. I am sat down on the couch, and then Mark says.

"Is there anything that you want to tell us? Like if you have nightmares or anything like that? We won't be mad, we just wanna know in advance so we can help you and stuff."

I nod, showing that I heard them. Do I tell them? They might help, but I mean I think they'll hate me and then send me to some orphanage. I shake my head and Mark nods "okay then, Lewis can you please go make food? It's 6:49 so Tob should be home anytime now. I'm going to talk with Liza and get to know her and such, please babe?" Lewis nods and kisses Mark on the lips before leaving the living room.

Then he goes over to me and sits down beside me. He turns on the tv to Big Bang Theory and then we wait for Lewis to finish cooking the food and for Toby to come home.

After about fifteen minutes I hear the door open and I get up to go see Toby. I jump up and run into the kitchen, I give Toby a big bear hug. He returns it and then takes off his shoes along with his doctor coat.

"You should be off of that leg before you strain it and we have to put a walking cast on that leg of yours!" Toby scolds me.

"I stayed off it for most of the day! Mark carried me every where's!" I tell him trying to get out of trouble. He nods.

"Okay then, I guess your forgiven! But I have to talk to you later in your room." He says I nod and don't bother to protest. I'm kind of tired, and I don't want to talk to him, but I have no energy to argue it's been a long day. Lewis starts to put plates of food down on to the table and the room starts to sway a little bit. Like it did before I came here, and I didn't eat as much as what I do here.

"Can I go to bed please? I'm tired" I say but immediately Toby comes over bending down, and says, "you probably haven't eaten in a little while. So how about you come to the dinner table eat some food and then go to bed with a full stomach okay?" He asks I nod but then the room really starts to sway. I must've lost my balance because Toby had both his hands planted on my hips.

He picks me up and sits me down at the table where Mark and Lewis are already sitting. "Okay let's eat!" Lewis says clapping his hands together while eyeing all the food. Everyone starts to eat and after they take a couple bites I start to eat as well. I was taught to wait until everyone has had a couple bites and then you eat. Because that's the polite thing to do.

I start to eat the potatoes slowly and my gag reflex starts to reject the food the moment it hits my tongue. I silently choke down the food though. I eat about one fourth of the potatoes and then I eat a couple bites of the steak and then eat a bit of the veggies.

By the time I finish the boys have also all finished. My plate is taken away and Toby gently pats my back then hugs me. "You did good kid. Now let's go upstairs. I need to talk to you."

He pulls out my chair from the table, and I am lifted into his arms. We head upstairs and he sets me down on my bed.

"Okay kiddo, you're not in trouble. But I heard someone saying after the shooting that you looked at the gun like you were ready to shoot yourself in the head. Now I need to know, for medical and personal purposes, were you going to shoot yourself? Were you even considering it? Even for just a second? And have you ever thought about doing something like that before then?" Toby asks me I shake my head and I hear him sigh in relief.

I want to tell him but there's something telling me that I shouldn't because he might send me back to some rehab place or an orphanage and he wouldn't want me anymore. I love it here everyone is nice and friendly and haven't beaten me yet.

Which I mean they probably will after tonight because I'm going to have a nightmare and then I might wake them up, and they'll hate me and then they'll come to their senses and get rid of me.

"Okay, what exactly did mom and dad do to you? I know its hard kiddo but if you were raped then I have to know so I can help you and make sure that you're not pregnant. Okay?" He asks me and I take a second to think about a response again. I was raped but it was a little while ago and I've gotten my period since then. So I can't be pregnant, otherwise between the fact that I don't eat, and the constant abuse which happened especially to my stomach after the rape, and that I still got periods after, there isn't a cold chance in hell that I'm pregnant.

"No I wasn't raped. I was just beaten, starved, locked in a basement, mentally abused and as the whipped cream on the shit ice cream, neglected." I tell him he nods and looks down at his hands sadly. I yawn ruining the totally silent moment, Toby brings his hand up and I flinch thinking he's going to hit me for yawning. But instead he rubs my back and side hugs me. He pulls out some pjs for me from my closet, setting them down on my bed and he says "I'm so sorry that, that happened kiddo. But goodnight kiddo sleep tight, I love you."

I pull on my pjs and then get into bed after Toby leaves so that he doesn't see my scars. Then I as soon as my head hits the pillow I'm out like a light.

Mark's POV
I can't believe we found her. I hate the circumstances, but soon she'll be better. Speaking of that I should probably check Toby's thighs and wrists too. Having a kid here who is going through some awful things might be triggering to Toby. After Lewis and I were married for a week, Toby's cuts bled through his pants and then we found out. It took him a long time before he was better.

At first, we checked his scars at morning and once at night. But then after a little while of being clean, we had razors back in the house, then alcohol came back in the house, then we were checking once a week, then once every two weeks, every month, every two months, every three, four and then we stopped checking.

But now that Liza is back in the house, I'm not sure how he'll react and if he's harming again, me and Lewis are both in agreement that we should know.

After Toby comes back downstairs, I gently pull him into the living room. And I pop the question because Lewis is already upstairs getting ready for bed, and I know that he's very touchy about the self harming scars. There're only a couple people who know about the scars and even fewer have seen them.

"Toby, we need to know, are you thinking of self harming again?" I ask him he looks taken back, surprised. Not expecting that.

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