New Beginnings (undergoing editing)

Chapter(25) What The-?

Recap: James POV:
"I'm okay, I just need a shower," he says before I can ask him what the hell happened and how come he's four hours (almost five it's 10:45) late getting home.

Currently: James POV:
I go upstairs, and I can hear Toby crying in the bathroom faintly. I jiggle the bathroom door's handle, but it doesn't budge so I pick the lock. I grew up on the streets (mostly,) so I learned a few things.

I get into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and I see Toby is sitting on the floor with his jogging pants on, but his shirt is off, and he's curled into a ball on the floor crying softly.

So I pick him up and set him down on my lap, so he cries into my chest. I hold his head to my heart so he can listen to the rhythm of it.

He slowly begins to calm down and I kiss the top of his head, "what's wrong hon?" I ask him quietly trying not to upset him or freak him out with any loud noises.

"I had a bad day at work. Everything hurts Ja." He says to me using my nickname that he only uses when he's really hurt and in a lot of pain. I got the nickname two months into our relationship, when he had stubbed his toe and was very drunk. But the name stuck so that's my nickname now. And it's an okay nickname.

"What happened at work hon?" I ask him. This wouldn't be the first time that he's gotten hurt from work and then come home beaten all to crap, and sad. Sometimes even depressed just depends on the night or day and how bad or good it was.

"Some stuff. I d-don't w-w-anna talk about it please," he tells me. I understand if he doesn't want to, I'm not going to push him, so I just hold him closer to me and enjoy how close we are.

After a couple minutes I get up and help him slide on a hoodie that way there when I take him downstairs, he's dressed. I know that Toby hates even taking his shirt off even when we go swimming because of al the scars from various things on his back so going downstairs without something like a shirt on now, especially with his mental state would freak him out.  Then we sit back down on our bed and enjoy each other.

I eventually stand back up with him in my arms because I don't know if he could walk right now even if he wanted to, which I'm pretty sure he doesn't. At least not in the state that he's in.

I carry him back down the stairs and set him down on the counter. I wash up some grapes, and strawberries for him and give it to him. He eats the snack and then Lewis and Mark come into the kitchen.

Mark has one arm wrapped around Lewis and the other rests at his side. And Mark is in the same position as Lewis. They walk over to Toby who looks like crap and is staring at his feet (which still don't touch the floors) like they are the most interesting thing in the world.

"Toby are you okay? What happened?" Lewis whisper asks him to try, not to scare him. I can tell though that he doesn't want people around him right now though especially when he's this upset. He's a person who keeps their negative or sad moods and actions to themselves.

"I'm okay Lew don't worry please, I got Ja that worries enough for all of us and a little bit more," he says trying to lighten the mood with a smile at the end of what he said. It seems to work, and everyone gets a quick laugh out of it. Once my eyes meet Marks eyes though, I know that he caught what Toby said to me, using my nickname.

I mouth to him, 'I'll explain later' and his gaze says, 'you bet you will.' But thankfully he doesn't say anything to Toby. I finish washing Toby's bowl and I pick him up, so his legs wrap around my waist and we head upstairs after saying "goodnight" to Lew and Mark. 

We get to our room and I lay Toby down on the bed and shut off the lights to our room. I lay down with him and we intertwine our legs, so they're all tangled, and I play gently with his hair. He eventually falls into what looks like a restless and rough sleep, this is probably going to be a long night. I think to myself sighing and bringing him in closer as I fall asleep.

I wake up to whimpering and someone crying, I open my eyes and I see my beautiful husband trying to be okay after an awful nightmare. He's sitting up, crouched into a ball crying. I rub his back and he jumps, from the touch. He turns around and he's that it's just me and relaxes into my hand on his back before laying back down with me and burying his head in my chest.

He lets out a shaky sigh, followed by an exhale and I keep rubbing his back, "what happened at work hon?" I ask him. He hasn't been this upset since he found out Liza was abused.

"There was a car crash. The person who caused the crash was insane. He was on so many drugs that we had to restrain him, and I got thrown around in the process. Then he saw my pride flag that I have on my doctor coat and he said some horrible things about being gay and it brought back memories of when I lived home and came out to my parents." He said crying now into my shirt.

Then the door flies open, and I pull up the covers so Toby's head is all covered. It's Liza and Sam, when they hear Toby crying, and see what's going on their mouths make a 'o' and quickly leave the room. Which I think me, and Toby were happy about. Especially because they also didn't ask any questions which was nice.

I just rub his back and once he's calmed down, I hug him a little tighter and then we both get up and get dressed. "Toby are you okay?" I ask him worried for his well being. I know how rough his up bringing was, so I know that reliving it probably wasn't the easiest thing for him.

He nods at my question and I give him a concerned look that asked if he's really okay or if he's just lying to me to get the conversation over and so I don't worry about him. "Ja I'm okay, just tired a little but nothing major I promise! I love you" he says stretching out the you and holding my hand.

I smile and say, "love you too honey" and kiss him really quick before running down the stairs with him chasing after me. Then we go flying down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Everyone else is already up, Sam and Liza sitting side by side on the counters with Lew and Mark leaning against another counter talking about something and slipping their coffee. Toby slows his tracks a bit, but I pretend not to notice and slip my hand around his waist in case he makes any really fast moves to run away.

We walk into the kitchen and I garb a cup of coffee for Toby and then tea for me. Toby mumbles out a "thanks babe" tiredly and he leans against a countertop while I make my tea. The girls are staring at me and Toby, silently debating in their minds do I say something or leave it?  They decide on nothing, opening and closing their mouths over and over again. Like they want to say something but don't want to upset Toby at all, so they're quiet.

Finally he speaks up and puts the girls out of their misery, which was pretty funny to watch. "Okay, so yesterday I went to work and there had been a huge car crash. The driver of the car that crashed the car, was on a lot of drugs and couldn't see or think straight. He hit another car going through an intersection. I had to restrain the man and he saw my tiny pride flag that's stitched into my doctor's coat. The man said some choice words about it and then threw me around the room a little, but I'm okay. I was crying because when he said things about me being apart of the LGBTIQ2+ it brought back memories from my past. And I broke down, which you two happened to see and I'm sorry that you did"

He explains out to the girls that look sad for him. they both get down from the counters and run over to hug him. "We love you Toby,'' they say, and he smiles then laughs and kisses the tops of their small little heads. "I love you too kiddos, now let's go watch Brooklynn 99!!" He says throwing his hands up and says, "WOO!!" Before running into the living room with the two girls giggling and gossiping at who's the cutest out of all of them.

I laugh at the group and then Mark says, "Is he really okay?" he asks me to watch, them in the living room as they turn on the tv. I nod and Lew exhales a sigh of relief.

"The girls came down upset because he was crying and we were worried," Lew says letting out another happy exhale. Then Lew and Mark head into the living room with my gossiping girls and husband. I haven't checked Toby for any bruises though. And that makes me worried.

Toby had said that he got thrown around the room, but when he said that his mind wasn't in the right place, and asking him about it wouldn't be fair. I'll ask him questions and make sure that there's no broken bones tonight before we go to bed, but I guess that for now I'm gong to have to be patient and enjoy the day. So I go into the living room with my family that I love so much and watch and laugh at Brooklynn 99.

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