New Beginnings (undergoing editing)

Chapter (20) Binding

Recap: Sam's POV:
He puts the stuff down on my new desk and says, "okay I'm going to tell James that we are busy and to not bother us okay? When I come back up, I'll knock but I want that wrap off."

Present: Sam's POV:

I pull my shirt off and then unwrap my chest, once it's off it's hard to look at myself. When the wrap is off, I can see all my ribs, bruises, scars, and all that.

It's hard, well painful to remember all that. I pull on a to big hoodie and let myself float in the huge thing. I like to big hoodies because they're comfy and it's harder to see my chest when they're on too which is always a huge bonus.

There's a soft knock on my new bedroom door and I say, "come in Toby" I hear the door open and shut as a person comes into the room. I turn around to face Toby and he crouches down in front of me, he takes my hands in his. His eyes try to meet mine, but I dodge them. He eventually takes my chin which makes my eyes meet his.

"Where do you want to do the doctor stuff? On the chair or bed?"  He asks giving me the choice. I think that bed would be easier because the world is already starting to spin really fast. I point to the bed indicating that I want to be on the bed for this doctor thing that I'm stuck doing. He lifts me up and sets me down as gently as he can on the very comfortable bed.

"Alright Sam can you please lift your shirt up so I can see your belly button please? I wanna make sure that your ribs look okay, then I wanna see your wrists" Toby says to me. I nod and pull my shirt up a little bit and then fall backwards on to my bed so my head crashes down on to the satin pillows. I pull it up so that you can just see a little bit of under boob.

He doesn't say anything out loud in response to all the cuts and bruises that cover my stomach. But his suddenly sad eyes say it all. He cleans the cuts, putting band-aids on a few of the smaller ones that started to bleed a lot when he was cleaning them. The bigger cuts that are all bloody and start to bleed again. Then he takes a medium sized gauze he tapes up to my stomach.

Once he's done, I'm on the verge of tears because of how many bruises and cuts he saw. Toby, being the nice and caring person he is, notices how upset I am right now and after he finishes cleaning the last cut, he pulls my hoodie down so my stomach thats all bandaged is covered by my hoodie. My hands now cover my face and I'm crying my eyes out.

I hate that he saw all my scars and new cuts and bruises. I hate that he saw them because he's going to want to know where they came from and I don't want to talk about it, and after he finds out, what if he doesn't want me?

He takes my hands away from my face and holds them to his chest in a way of calming me down. He pulls me on to his lap and my head is in the crook of his head while my legs are resting on his lap. He rubs my back with one hand while the other is still holding my hands together against his heartbeat.

He whispers encouraging things into my ear like, "it's okay"  and  "don't worry it's almost over now,"  eventually I calm down enough so I'm not crying, and he holds my wrists out in front of me so I can see the older scars on my wrists and the newer ones that I had made the night before. Toby sighs before grabbing the hydrogen peroxide, and cotton balls along with some bandages.

When he had got up to grab those three things, he let go of my scarred-up hands and wrists so when he goes to take my wrists away from my chest, I hold them closer to me.  "Sam, I need to see your arms right now please, we won't send you away and I promise that we'll still love you," he explains out to me while holding his hand out for me to put my hands into.

I nod, putting my hands into his finally, giving in after a few seconds of an intense eye staring contest between me and Toby.

He cleans my arms then wraps them like what you'd do if someone broke their arm. Once he's finished there I'm picked up and carried into a bathroom that was just at the end of the hall from my room. When I'm sat down, I'm standing on a weight scale. Damnit.

The scale beeps and just before he's able to gently get me out of the way, I saw the number. I saw it and turns out I've lost a bit more weight than what I thought that I did, because according to the scale I weight 65 pounds but I'm somewhat short so it's an okay weight number to me.

Apparently, Toby disagrees with me on that one because the look on his face says that I'm going to get stuffed with food when we go downstairs. The doorbell rings and then I hear more voices flood the downstairs before the voices echo up the stairs so me and Toby can hear them pretty clearly.

"We can continue this discussion later. Sam-o! Now the rest of the family is here so I want you to go downstairs and socialize, if you need a break or if you need to go to bed, come and find either me or James I'm going to get him up to speed on the situation as well okay?"  Toby says to me saying I like it was a question but his face said that arguing would be a waste of everyone's time and I wasn't about to do that so I shut my mouth and went downstairs with Toby following me and introducing me to everyone.

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It's been about two and a half hours of bonding and meeting my new family, and Toby still hasn't made me eat anything. I think he forgot about what he said upstairs before everyone came. Everyone seems to be really nice but I can't do anymore socializing. I'm not used to this many people all at once. I mean there was school, but no one really talks to me there. All they did is beat the crap out of me so I don't think you could call that a 'normal conversation.'

"Alright I'm exhausted, so I'm going to head to bed, goodnight everyone"   I say with a somewhat genuine smile on my face. I love my new family I really do, but there's a lot of them and they're overwhelming at times. I hear someone's footsteps behind me as I go up the stairs, and once I reach the top of the stairs, I turn around to see whose behind me and surprisingly enough it's James.

"You're not actually going to bed, are you? Just needed a minute away from all of them, right?"  He says with a smile on his face, that very clearly says that he knows that he already knows that he's spot-on with the accusation. I nod my head and he chuckle's as he runs his hands through his already some-what messy hair.

"I hear ya kid, it's a lot to get used to when your used to only having yourself to talk to and rely on. But I want you to know that me and Toby are here anytime that you need or want anything okay?"  He tells me, I nod my head with a smile on my face.

"Well I was told to tuck you in, even though your 13 so you probably don't want me too so I'm going to go back downstairs, love you kid. Go to bed at a decent time" He says clearly flustered and embarrassed. I don't really want to talk anymore today because I've done so much talking today that my voice is done.

Before my brain understands what the hell my hand has decided to do, I grab his upper arm's sleeve gently pulling him back up the stairs with me. I take him into my room and since earlier I had changed into my PJ' so I don't have to do that, so I jump into bed after plugging my phone in to a nearby outlet. James turns off the lights and brings my comforters up to my chin.

"Night kiddo I love you sleep tight, sweet dreams"  he says as he plants a quick kiss on my forehead and leaving my bedroom leaving the door open just enough so the light can come into my room and help me from freaking out at how dark it is. Then after a few minutes my eyelids are heavy and finally I start to drift off into a sleep full of nightmares...

James POV

After I tuck Sam into her new bed I head back downstairs where Liza is having her wrists and thighs checked while she drinks her chocolate milk that's spiked with her weight gaining pills,(she's almost a normal weight but not there just yet) and her sleeping pills which seem to work somewhat well. She's been sleeping in her bed a lot more and is getting better. I can't say the same for the voice's in her head though. You can tell that recently they've been acting up a little.

When she's done her chocolate milk and her thighs and wrists were checked, (all clean) she walks back to the living room and hugs me and Toby saying as she goes up to bed happy, "I've got a sister! I've got a sister!!"  Lew laughs at that then heads upstairs behind her to make sure that she gets tucked in and all that. He's super overprotective I feel bad for any boy or girl that has romantic feelings for her. I wouldn't want to face the wrath of Lew at all.

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