BLUE

27. No (Becca's POV)

Becca's POV.

I stood and stared at the man who had robbed me of everything in my life. My childhood, my friends, my boyfriends, my happiness, and now the only boy I could possibly ever be in love with.

I clenched my fists and a tear rolled down my eye, as he waved his arms around while yelling at me. This was the worst that could happen. He had strictly told me he wouldn't allow me to have boys over after with happened with my last boyfriend James. He had caught us having sex in my bed and quite literally threw James out on the street, naked and with no clothes.

"You bring him here again, I'm going to make sure that he never touches you ever again!" my father screamed.

I didn't answer him, I didn't say anything. I just stared at him. I wanted to scream, yell and cry, but I couldn't. Because I knew what would happen if I ever fought back at him. It would be of no use.

"Do you hear me girl?" he said, his volume being lower this time. I hated when he called me girl. He had always done that, but it made me feel like it was all I was to him. Not his daughter, not his family, just a girl.

I nodded my head and crossed my arms. Everything became so quiet after he was done yelling. It felt like the calm after a death bringing tsunami.

"I need you go get me some beers at the store" he said while taking out his wallet from his pants. He found some crumbled up dollar bills and reached them out for me to take. I stared into his eyes as he did so.

"No" I simply said, not breaking eye contact with him. I always caved with him. It was like an endless cycle. He would come home drunk and angry and yell at me for whatever little thing that pissed him off. He would blame me for everything. For not taking care of the house, for not keeping a job, for not being home all the time. And I would crumble and cave, and apologize for every one of his mistakes, and then go get him more alcohol so the cycle could continue. But right in this second... I was done.

"No?" he challenged and walked closer to me. I was so pissed at him. All the anger I had always had for him came bubbling up in me and I was unable to control it.

"NO! You don't get to come home and kick out the boy I like and then expect me to go buy you beers!" I yelled at him. It felt so good to get off my chest, until the look in his eyes shifted completely.

With a sudden move he slapped my cheek and grabbed my face with his hand and held me tightly. I grabbed his arm with both my hands trying to get myself free, but it was no help.

"You listen carefully to me girl. I can do whatever I want in my home, because I own it. I pay for it, and for everything that you have in this home. I own you Becca, so you don't get to disobey me, you hear?" he said with his annoying calm voice he used when he got serious.

I didn't say anything. I just closed my eyes, waiting for it all to be over.

"Now, you go get me my beers. And not that light shit you got me last time, you know which ones I want" he said and slowly let me go of his grip. I ran my hand lightly over my cheek and felt the pain from his act of violence on it. He dropped the money on the ground in front of me and walked up the stairs.

"Don't take too long" he said right before he walked of the door and I heard his footsteps disappear.

I picked up the money and stuffed it in the back pocket of my jeans. I went over to my mirror and discovered my whole right cheek was red. Not only that, but he somehow managed to cut me right on my cheek bone. I ran a finger over it trying to get rid of the blood. It wasn't a big cut; I had tried worse before.

I wiped away my tears and ran a hand through my hair. I got my jacket and walked up the stairs and hurried out the front door of our house.

I began walking down the road of our neighborhood, looking up at the black night sky. It looked just like what I imagined the big hole in my chest looked like from the inside.

My heart felt emptier and more broken than it had ever felt before. I had never felt the way I felt about Blake before. He had slowly captured me with his blue eyes, charming smile, his shyness and his annoyingly good-looking button up shirts. He was the complete opposite of what I usually fell in love with. I wondered if maybe that was why he had a grip on my heart like no one before, because he was everything I was not. 

But now he had been taken from me. There was no way he would be with me after this. Who would? The messed-up girl with her drunken and angry father that ruins everything. No one had the time to deal with that. I wouldn't blame him for staying away from me after this, it would probably be easier for everyone if he did. He would have no trouble with his friends, his parents and I would have no trouble with my dad. Not to mention everyone staring at us and judging us if we ever became a couple. It was for the better that this had happened.

I had a feeling for a long time that something was going to mess up what me and Blake had. Somehow it was too... happy, too peaceful to continue happening.

I arrived at the docks and found my way to the old grocery store on the corner where me and Blake had also been in the weekend. I went straight towards the alcohol and found the ones my dad always wanted. I filled up a bag and went to the counter. For a second I was worried the cashier was going to recognize me, but to my luck it was a different person than this weekend. I quickly paid for the beer and began my way home again.

When I walked out the store my phone suddenly buzzed with a text from Blake, asking if I was okay. I almost broke down crying at his concern for me. Why would he still care for me? If I was him I would already had deleted my number. I put my phone back in my pocket deciding not to answer. This needed to end. If me and Blake kept seeing each other it would cause a lot more trouble, mostly for him. I couldn't let that happen. I would not let my dad do anything to him like that again.

As I walked up the front steps to our house, I let my final tear roll down my cheek before I took a deep breath and shut off the feelings. Once I was inside that door, I was done crying for good. No more pain, no more feelings. Just surviving.

I wiped away the tears and opened the door. I went to the kitchen where my dad was standing, eating some kind of pasta dish. I put the bag of beers on the table and he instantly turned around.

"Becca, you scared me" he said and looked in the bag, checking if it was the right beer I had bought him.

"Ah, that's a good girl" he said and smiled. I rolled my eyes and turned around but before I could get out, he grabbed my arm.

"Hey now... honey I'm sorry okay. But you know I can't just let you bring boys home like that anytime you want" he said while cupping my face with his hands.

"You're my little girl. I can't lose you" he said and gave me a fatherly smile. I felt sick. His mood changed like leaves falling in autumn. Fast and always leaving a mess behind.

"I love you" he said and placed a kiss on my forehead. I could tell he was waiting for me to say it back. Instead of causing more trouble and anger, I caved and said it back. He let me go and turned around to get a beer from the bag. I quickly disappeared out of the kitchen and into my room, getting away from that man as fast possible.

I laid down on my bed and my hands found their way to my necklace like they always did, fumbling with it. I had always believed that there was always hope, no matter what. But recently that hope seemed to fade more and more.

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Yours, Ani