BLUE

38. A gift

"No! No, no Blake what are you doing? You can't do this" she half whispered as she stared at the money inside the envelope, with wild eyes.

"I-it's for you, to get your record player fixed" I explained, before she got the wrong idea, like I was trying to give her charity. "What?" she asked with a confused look. 

"Your record player? You said it was broken, so I thought I would get it fixed for you. But honestly, I have no idea where to go to get that done, and I figured you probably knew a place" I rambled on and scratched my neck awkwardly. She sat in silence shaking her head, but this time with a smile.

"Plus, you know I couldn't really break into your house to steal the record player without you finding out so..." I crossed my arms and smiled at her. "This is..." she said and looked down at the money. "I think that's the sweetest thing someone has done for me" she looked up at me again.

I was so happy that she liked the gift, but quite surprised that she thought it was the sweetest thing ever. But I guess that Becca never really had experienced a person showing her love without wanting something in return.

"Thank you so much Blake. I don't know what to say" she said and put the money back in the envelope. I smiled at her and looked down at the table again. She got up from her seat and walked over to my side of the booth, and sat down next to me. She scooted right up to me and placed her hand on my cheek, as she planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"Seriously, you're the most amazing person I've ever..." she trailed off and for a second I wondered why she didn't finish her sentence, but my mind was quickly cleared of thoughts, when she put her lips back on mine and placed her hand on my thigh under the table. I put a hand down on her waist and pushed her closer to me. I couldn't get enough of the feeling of her against me, it felt like no matter how close she was, it was never enough. I needed her so badly.

We continued kissing and I realized that I had never done anything like this before. I wasn't used to kissing in front of people or in public for that matter. The furthest I had ever gone with Lilly was a peck on the cheek at the mall. But this feeling of not caring, of not giving a damn if people saw us, somehow made the kiss so much better.

"I should go on Saturday" Becca suddenly spoke and broke our kiss. The fire that had built inside me slowly calmed down and my heart was beating faster than ever before. "What?" I asked in confusion, trying to hide the fact that I was out of breath. "I should get my record player fixed on Saturday. I'm going into the city anyways" she said and removed her hand from my thigh.

"Where are you going Saturday?" I asked and took a drink of water trying to cool myself down form our heated kiss. "I've got an appointment to get my nose pierced at five. I can just bring my record player and drop it off before, it's not far away" she explained and picked up some fries and put them in her mouth. I almost choked on my water when she said that.

"You're getting your nose pierced?!" I asked a little too loudly, earning a giggle from Becca as she looked around at the people who thankfully didn't hear me. "You haven't told me that?" I said and tried to think back at all the conversations me and Becca had ever had.

"No, I made the appointment before I met you. I guess I just forgot to tell you" she said and laughed at my reaction. I tried to imagine Becca with a nose ring and somehow, it turned me on even more, which wasn't what I needed after that kiss. I picked up my cold water once again to try to calm myself.

"I could go with you?" I suggested as I put my water down. "Really? But what about your parents? Won't they want to know where you are going?" Becca asked. "Yeah, but they won't be home most of Saturday, because they're taking my brother to the doctor" I explained and rested my arm on the back of our booth. "Oh... is he okay?" she asked with a frown on her face.

I looked down at my half-eaten plate of food and debated whether I should tell her about Toby or not. I hadn't really talked with anyone about Toby before, besides my parents, and of cause Miss Jensen now.

"No, he's not" I said and looked back at Becca. "Tell me about it" Becca said and placed her hand on my chest, right at my heart. I'm sure she noticed how the speed of it changed as soon as she touched me.

I began to tell her all about Toby's attacks. How he had gotten them for many years. almost every night, and how many doctors we had tried who couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. How they all said it was anxiety, but no matter what anxiety medications they gave him the attacks always returned eventually.

"So, now they got another appointment with our doctor on Saturday, even though we've been there a thousand times. I know I'm not allowed to say it, but I just think its kind of naïve of my parents to think that they're going to find a doctor who can help. It feels like there isn't a doctor we haven't tried in the whole city, and none of them know what to say. It seems like there's no hope sometimes" I ranted on to Becca, while she rubbed her thumb in circles on my shoulder.

She listened to everything I had to say and didn't take her eyes away from my face once. When I was done, she took a deep breath and moved her hand from my shoulder to my neck and ran her fingers through my hair.

"I know that sometimes the world can seem hopeless. But I don't think your parents are naïve, because pain doesn't last forever Even the cruelest pain will not last. Either time will give answers, or it will heal, but it doesn't last" she said. I looked into her brown eyes, wondering how a girl who had been broken multiple times by life, had so much hope inside her and how it had never died out. I took her hand and intertwined our fingers. They felt like puzzle pieces fitting together.

"Thank you. I know you're right... it's just hard to see sometimes" I said and gave her a weak smile. "I know" she whispered and kissed my cheek. We sat for a while just touching and talking. Once again, our study date didn't involve any studying at all.

An hour after we packed up our stuff and payed for the food. We got into my car and I drove Becca home to her house. She thanked me again for the gift and kissed me so softly I wanted her to never leave the car. When she got out I watched as she went into her house and waved at me before closing the door. I began driving home, not believing the fact that somehow every time I was with Becca, I fell more and more in love with her.