Hallies pov
I waited in our gate for christina, her plane landed 15 minutes ago and she told me she should be here soon. I was nervous to meet her as well, we've only spoke on FaceTime and messages. I've never met her in person, my heart fluttered of excitement when I seen her beautiful face 100 feet away from me. She squealed and ran towards me I met her halfway and she wrapped her arms around me tightly, her vlog camera still in her arms "I can't believe this" she says, it felt like half the airport was starring at us but I was overwhelmed with joy "oh my God you're real" I touch her face and she laughs "wow this is so crazy" we hug again and eventually calm down. The last few months Christina and I have became so close as friends and I seriously couldn't ask for more. She was oddly so wise and so sweet and of course funny, and don't forget beautiful.
When we finally boarded out flight we began to ramble on about everything and I knew the people sitting around us were getting annoyed, but neither of us really cared much. "I still can't believe this" she says astonished "me neither, it feels so weird yet amazing to see you in person rather than a phone screen" she agrees, "you're also insanely beautiful in person" she gushes, "so are you!" I say back, meaning it. We continue our conversation all the way to California, it felt like we have been friends all our lives.
The atmosphere in California was so different from Portland, it was hot, busy, everyone had a place to be, a place to go, silence wasn't an option, oddly motivational. I didn't feel at home, or at rest. I felt as though I wasn't meant to be here and I've always felt that. Portland was quite the opposite of LA, quite, cool, laid back. I've been to La a few times but never really allowed myself to get stuck in the different atmosphere because I don't want to get stuck. La isn't my cup of tea and I want it to stay that way.
I see keris car and I almost jump with excitement I missed them so much, keri barely stopped the car before Anna jumped out. She ran to me and wrapped her arms around me "i missed you" she cries, "i missed you too" keri hugs Christina then me. We pack our bags in the trunk, the four of us began to talk about everything and anything. "I love it here" keri gushes, Anna nods "me too, it's so different from Portland" Christina and I share a glance "i love new york to much to want to live in L.A. you know?" I nod "yeah, I love Portland so much. La doesn't seem to fit me" Christina agrees "give it a chance" Anna says, I know Anna wants me to move to California but I'm not ready. The only way I do is if I can make trips to see my dad as much as possible. im not ready to live on my own, im not ready to leave my dad. im scared he'll be gone soon and it will wreck me. I never talk about my dad to anyone, I don't want the pity and neither does he. Only I know what's wrong with him, he can have only a few years left unless some miracle happens. thinking about him I feel my chest get heavy and ball form in my throat, I grab my phone out of pocket not listening to their conversation. I didn't want to cry, so I texted him.
dad💜
hey dad, i landed and iwas just thinking about you. how are you feeling?
im glad you're safe, and im amazing sweetie. i went to see the doctors today and they said im getting better! don't worry about me:)
dad, im gonna worry about you and glad it's getting better. i already miss you, love you dad. stay strong?
I will always stay strong, just for you. i love you angel, now have fun in california. text me goodnight so I know you're okay
Will do dad, love you <3
talking to him made me feel a lot better, I planned on telling the seaveys on this trip. my dad wanted me too because he wanted them to be there with me if and when it happens I just wished it was easier, easier to grasp, easier to except the fact he might be gone soon, he's my dad, my best friend, my rock. thinking about a life without him makes my heart ache.
"are you okay?" Christina whispers, I nod. i knew she didn't believe me but she knew that I didn't want to talk about it because I will cry. ive decided to tell everyone at dinner tonight, everyone deserves to know. When we made it to the boys' house I began to feel nervous I don't think I was ready to see daniel and I wasn't ready to tell all of them the secret I've kept for the last few months. I take a bunch of deep breathes trying to calm myself before walking into the house. Walking in to see them, to see him is one milestone I have to past and another will be dinner tonight. I don't know if I'll be able to get through it without crying.
🌻
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