temporary | d.s.

27 - i don't think

I couldn't help but break down to my mom. I should've listened to her. I should've listened to everyone who's against to him. My mom immediately engulfed me with her hug as I cried to her. "I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid."

"Shh, yeah you are." My mom laughs and I joined her too. "Dream, I am hoping for you to not make the same mistake over and over again because ot hurts to see you hurt."

I couldn't ask more for another mom because she's been through hell for me. "Thank you, and I'm sorry. I'm dumb but you still kept me."

"It's like I have a choice and you're my egg." She jokes.

"Mom! Disgusting." I said as she laughed at me while soothing my hair.

*ding*

"I have your favorite person right now and you're going to thank me." My mom said as she approached the door. I am really hoping that it's Daniel, I could really use a reality slap even though my mom already did it. To my dismay, it's my 3rd favorite person, the pizza guy. I am on the verge of hugging the pizza guy because I thought he was a different person. A guy close to my heart but already pushed over and over again. Before I break down in fromt of the poor guy who just wants to deliver pizza and not see a poor girl spray snot everywhere, I decided to just take the pizza and tipped him, as if I have a choice. I wouldn't let the pizza get cold so as soon as I locked the door, I devoured the pizza as I watch old movies together with my mom. Halfway through the second movie, my mom fell asleep and I know she's tired so I just layed a blanket on top of her. She's been working so hard and I admire her for that.

I walked to my room and rethink all the shitty decisions I've made and heck they're loaded. All I have to do was listen to the person that really cared and yet here I am regretting that I put trust in the wrong person. That's the problem with me, I problemize why no one cared, yet I have the best caring people in my life. I always make it about myself and pitty myself and victimize myself just to get the care that I want. I was so busy finding shits that I want yet all I need was right in front of me, overflowing and needs attention.

I'm pushing away the wrong person in a long time and I thought that asshole was the one I should pitty and let into my life. What did it cost? A major heart break and a lost best friend.