temporary | d.s.

43 - i wish i could

After the talk with Daniel, I felt at ease. Not that even though he became a hard one to conquer, it's because I felt strong because I didn't showed him that I'm vulnerable. That I didn't fell easily on the trap that it took me forever to even get out off.

Daniel came back to being sweet but I don't let that fool me. Not anymore. I've been planning to make him wait and he admitted that he'll respect that and he'll wait. Last time I rushed into things that I am not yet ready to face and if I'm going to let him in again which is still not possible right now but this time,,we are taking it slow. I admit that I admire him waiting but I wish I didn't spoken too soon and he'll really wait.

"Let me just carry your bag, you've rejected all my offer now not this one." He said as he took my bag, he offered to take me home but I refused. We came back to being best friends which I didn't took away from him but it's still different. We may be close but there's still distance. He'd done all the things that makes him deserve another chance, which he really does but I'm still hesitant to give it.

"You know, you don't have to do this." I said.

"I know, but this is the only chance that I can get close to you so I'm going to use it." He teased. "Plus, I'm still not giving up on that chance."

I just smiled at him.

Of course, Jack knew what happened. He became my gossip girl because him being an extrovert really brought it out. We've learnt so much from each other and I really appreciate him for staying by my side. I never fail to admire him for being the strong one that still keeps him going, he was still keeping in touch with his ex-girlfriend. Yes you heard it right, ex. They broke up not risking their relationship through the distance and just hurt each other but I know he hurts inside so I admire him for that. He keeps a strong personality to survive.

"So, you're going back to him." He said a little hurt.

"What?! No! I'm just giving him what he need, a chance." I said.

"Oh, I know it's going there. You're just playing hard to get." He joked.

"Yeah, but who knows. I may give him a chance but there's still uncertainty that I will come back to him." I admit. I'm not heartless, I promise. I'm just selfish thinking about not being hurt.

"I don't know why you're givibg him a hard time." He confirmed. "It's just you clearly love each other, you're just scared that you would hurt each other again."

"That's that." I admit.

"So take the risk, there will always be risks. You just have to work through it together. Don't be like me who's afraid to fight and you'll never know if he will always be there when you come back. Take it now before it's too late." He explained and that had me thinking. I will always be hurt no matter what, but we have to understand and stay with it to get through it because if we walked away, there will always be a huge dent that will stay in our hearts.

But I don't think that jumping right in would be the option. We have to take it slow, yes there is now a slight change in me that wants to give him a chance but that's the challenge in us, in him and in me. If we would still be together after all the wait then good, great even but if we don't, at least we will fall out of it without nothing to loose. I hope we have nothinh to loose because I don't think I would survive another man, walking out of my life.

Dressed in a band tee and light washed jeans with two half buns and a beach wave then comforted by my favorite Doc Martens, you guessed it right. I am going on a date with Daniel Seavey and for me, he really deserved that chance. Everything came back to the way it is but there is some addition to it. He's now slowly, being friends with Jack and I always convince him that Jack wouldn't be a threat unless he consider him a threat which he always denies. We've been closing some distance between us since we both clearly have the same feelings for each other. He'd always remind me that he really doesn't mean what he said, that he's just full of anger and disappointment that day and he didn't mean to pour it out on me and he really blames himself for it costing me. But we are way past that. We are starting a new one and hopefully, every obstacle that we face is to be resolved together.

"Hey, you look really beautiful." He said as I entered the kitchen where he and mom are talking. He also made amends with my mom which is at first is funny. When he came here at the house for the first time after the incident, mom was chasing Daniel with a huge spoon and he doesn't got away with it after my mom gets a hit. He offered my mom a great apology and a bouquet of flowers after that and my mom agreed that if he hurts me again, a knife will hut him.

"Well, thanks to my beautiful DNA." My mom joked and we joined her laughter. "Go now, and Daniel, drive safely."

"Yes ma'am." Daniel saluted.

"Are you a secret fashion designer because you really look fine and these combinations are great." He complimented in the voice of Tyra Banks.

"Well thank you." I said as I walk like I'm on a runway while he yells 'Yass Queen'.

The car was filled with our laughter as we joked about, everything really. Everything really is funny when it becomes to us.

"Mr. Giraffe where are you taking me?" I asked because after an hour of driving, we're still driving.

"Oh are we really going there Great Wall of China?" He teased and that became my nickname because we always joke about my nonexistent boobs and how I'm like a post or a wall just standing there. "Don't worry, I'm going through a drive thru of your favorite clown."

"Yes!" I screamed as I jumped in my seat. I could really want fries and nuggets running through my system. "And by the way, at least I can fit through spaces with these."

"Yeah yeah. But I still like it though." He smirked.

"Keep your hands to yourself James." I joked.

I enjoy this, just us. Even if there's no commitment yet, we could just freely be ourselves. No pressure between each other. He had been waiting for a long time and at first I thought that he will fell out of it but I thought wrong. He stayed. He stayed when I didn't expect him to. If we lost now, there will surely be a hige dent between each other because now that we've build up each other, I'm scared that we would wreck each other again. But that's the fun of it, the uncertainty. That's why people falling in are so strong for staying and I'm proud the he stayed.