Life on the big island

Processing....

Parker's point of veiw:

I get in Leland's vechile with Dakota and go to thier house. Leland asks while driving "Are you okay?"

"i guess."

"Parker i know this is hard but it will get better."

"I hope so."

We get to thier house and we go to Dakota's room. We lay on his bed and he holds me whle we watch tv. He says "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not yet."

He kisses me on my forehead. I do want to talk about it but i don't know how. And this happened at worst time because my nightmares just starting coming back. I decide to just be here in this moment with the perfect boyfriend. We watch tv for another hour and then we decide to go to the mall. We walk around and we decide to go in a couple of stores. He winds up buying me a hoodie made by nike. He got me the mens jacket because i think they are more comfortable. We eat in the foodcourt. We go to the movies connected to the mall and watch Godzilla. I cry when the mom and dad die. After we get out we walk to the parking lot.. He stands with me outside of the door and leans into kiss me. We have never been farther than kissing here and thier. We have never really been in a full makeout and the dreams i am having makes this uncomfeterable. He starts kissing deeper and he moves his hand to right above my waistline and I pull back. He says "What?"

"Dakota, i don't want to do this right now."

"You never want to. The most i ever get from you is a kiss. I don't want to have sex or anything i just want to show some affection between us."

"I do but its complicated."

"Why is it so compliated?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Do you even want to be in this relationship?"

"Yes, i do."

"Your not acting like it."

"I am trying." I sallow the lump in my throat to keep from crying.

"Whatever, let's just go home."

I jump in the hummer and we take off back to my house. The car is slinet. I cry the whole way silently. We pull up in the driveway and without saying a word i jump out and run towards the house. I make to the door when i hear Dakota call after me walking towards me. I yell "Go away Dakota."

Dad opens the door and pulls me inside. He closes the door while he talks to Dakota for less than ten seconds telling him t eave and he will call him. Dad comes inside and wraps me in a hug. He says "Come talk to me."

We sit on my bed and i tell him what happened with Dakota. He says "Does this have something to do with the nightmares you have been having lately?"

I nod my head yes and he holds me close when i say "you are the first person i am telling this to. There about my past." 

He looks at me and i continue. "Well when i was six till about eight i had a bestfriend, Anna. She had an older brother named Shuan and he was 18 and when i was over there one night, anna was alseep but i had to go to the bathroom. When i came out of the bathroom he started touching me and he told me to be quite or hw would punish me. He took me to his room and said we are going to play a game. Then he raped me. He raped me for two years. He told me i had to come over on the weekneds to hang out with anna. Then every night after anna was asleep he raped me." I am balling my eyes out by the time i finish. I stared at the pillow the whole time while saying this because i couldn't bear to look at dad.  l look up and his face is covered in tears. "When did it stop?" He says.

"Me and my mom moved."

He holds me and says "I will never let that ever happen to you again."

He hols me tight and i say "I want to be with Dakota but it is hard because when he touches me my mind just go back to that. Maybe because i haven't ever told anoyone or thier wasn't any justice for it but whatever it is i want to get over it."

"If it is okay i am going to call everyone and tell them no bounting hunting for tomorrow and to all come here. We need to figure this out and give everyone an explantaion, espically Dakota. And believe me we will bring justice for his awful actions."

"We can do that but will you tell them.  don't know if i can."

He looks at me and says "Of course."

"Thanks dad. I love you."

"I love you too, let's get some sleep."

He walks into his room and i take shower. I get out and get into bed and dad comes an dplants a kiss on my cheek. He walks back to his room and goes to sleep. I check my phone and there must be a thousand messages from Dakota. I lock my phone and go to sleep.