**Small town girl Ivy Knight has planned out her fate. She'll leave the small town known as Silver Falls and make something of herself. That is till Maddox Silver comes back to town after being away for years. Dealing with her fathers death, her mot...
** listen on repeat if the song ends before the chapter. This song represents home Ivy feels most of the time*
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Why the hell am I mad?
I don't fucking know. This boy has me feeling some weird ass shit. He isn't anything to me hell is he even a friend? I don't know.
I'm confused about all this, and to make matters worse I notice a figure out of the corner of my eye. Shifting on her feet she just looks at me then Maddox. Of course out of all the days my mother decides to show her self its while i'm yelling at Maddox. For what reason it's still unknown.
My eyes no longer on Maddox he turns in his chair to look at what I'm looking at. My moms once vibrant, fawn hair now dull and void of life as it's pulled into a tight high pony tail. She wears a navy pant suit combination. She's lost a significant amount of weight.
Her cheeks no longer plump and rosy but instead sunken in and colorless. Her eyes emotionless as she just looks at me with a plain face. And her chapped lips stay in a flat line.
"Mother." my voice holding no emotion in it.
Whats up nodding at me, "Ivy... who is this?" she says pointing to Maddox.
"Maddox this is Lyndy, Lyndy Knight my mother. Mother this is Maddox aaa... class mate of mine." They exchange hellos and my mother goes on her way to that fucking room of hers. The one she never seems to come out of.
"You look like her. Your mom." he says rotating back toward me.
"I know or I think I do, I hardly ever see her." shrugging I lift the chair that had fallen over and sit my ass back down. "Why?" I get why Maddox is curious shit i'd be too.
"Well like I told you before my father died," nodding his head letting me know he remembers I continue, "well when he died she did too."
"What do you mean?" His face full of curiosity.
Standing up again and walking around the table the long way around I bend down to his ear and whisper. "What I mean is the day my dad died she did too. As in she stopped being an active mother and person who cares for me. And in return,..I no longer care about her." Standing up straight again I shrug but he can't see it. "As much as I used to anyways."
Returning to my seat again he just looks at me. "Now enough about me." shoving a fork full of cooled off spaghetti in my mouth I point at him with my fork. "Tell me the truth behind your bruises. Don't bullshit me either."
I hadn't notice during all of my emotions that Maddox had finished eating and his plate was clear of the table. "Did you have enough?" I ask. he nods his face neutral not knowing what emotion to show. His lips in a thin line, eyebrows slightly arched in thought. Probably thinking wether or not to tell me his problems.
"You can tell me Maddox. I won't tell anyone else. what's said at my house stays in my house." No longer looking at me he just looks around the room. Thats till his eyes land back on me with tears threatening to spill out till he rubs his hands down his eyes, and stopping them.
"It's not your problem ok. Im j- I cant tell you." Standing up from his chair he takes a step towards my sitting body. Pressing his lips to my hair he says, "I'm gonna go, Thanks for the food. It was delicious."
I don't say anything just watch as he leaves. The door the only thing letting me know he had left completely. Emotions are a weird thing.
And I cant seem to ever pin point which ones I feel when i'm around Maddox.
For about the millionth time tonight I lift myself from my seat but instead of picking up and cleaning like I usually would do. I don't, I find that my feet take me up the stairs and to the very end of the hallway. A light brown painted door stands and behind it my mother hides.
I miss her don't get me wrong and when I told Maddox I no longer care for her it was a lie. A big fat, steaming lie. I love my mother but I have mixed emotions about that as well. Should i feel bad for her? should I be mad at her? Should I be understanding?
I don't fucking know, but what I do know is that shits getting old and I need to know how she's feeling. Where she is in all this.
I raise my hand and go to knock but stop mid way. Instead of knocking I palm my hand on the door gently.
"Mom?"
No reply.
"Mom? I think we need to talk."
Still no reply. Which frustrates me making my hand go from palm down to a fist. My knuckles turning white from the force i'm clenching it. Now pounding on the door no longer caring about the consequences.
"Open!" KNOCK "This!" Knock "Fucking door already fuck." Pounding my hand on the door till its red.
Still no answer.
"Someday you'll regret this! You'll regret all the shit you missed for the last 3 years! Do you hear me! I cant wait till I fucking leave here! Are you listening!!" Grunting I pound one more time on the door feeling it barely give way to my hand.
"WE LOST HIM TOO!!" I yell at the door. Turning my back to it leaning on it I fall to the ground. Back against the door and knees pressed to my chest tears find their way to fall.
