SCENERY / Taejin

9. Confession

A few weeks later, Oh Noona invited me for lunch at her place with a few of our mutual friends.
Everyone tried to give us private moments and I tried harder to dodge them.

I was sipping a mint fruit punch at the grassy front yard when my phone chimed.
It was a text from hyung.
He had sent a series of pictures; one a selfie of him and hobi-hyung in the kitchen holding a spatula and another one of a candid Kookie looking distraught.

🐹- taetae, come back in time for dinner. Everyone's home.

🐹-Also hobi mixed his red jacket in with kook's white laundry. All he has now is a dozen pink shirts. You gotta see his face yehehehehe ><
Hurry home fast.

My lips formed into a big box smile. I could hear hyung's laugh even through the screen.

I started to type my reply,

🐯-I'll be there in an hour, hyung^^

I looked at the selfie he had just sent again. They looked silly holding a spatula out of context like that. I found myself jooming into Jin-hyung's face and suddenly missing him. I wanted to be with him and the others back at the dorm right now.

"So..who is it?"

I turned around startled and shoved my phone inside my pocket.
Noona walked over calmly and stood beside me and smiled.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I was confused.

"The person you like," Noona raised her eyebrows at me playfully.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," I was running my hands through my hair for distraction.

"Well.. I may be wrong but when is anyone that happy over a text? You were beaming so much I could feel it from all across the room," she nudged at me.

My cheeks flushed red as a reflex even with me trying so hard to act cool. Anyone could read me at this point. I decided that it was dumb to deny it any longer.

"Uh..haha.. well. There is someone."

Noona was silent for moment and she gave a small tsk.

"Well... Bummer. I'm a bit jelly. But she's one lucky fella. Does she know?" 

"No."

"But why? I'm sure anyone will be happy to hear your confession?" Her concern looked genuine.

"It's.. a bit complicated," I tried to smile.

We both stood silent. I knew she had a lot on her mind too. I literally had just confessed that I like someone else to her, given all that we were trying to become acquainted with each other. I felt a little guilty but I didn't want to lead on anything anymore.

"What are you gonna do about it?" She was looking down.

"I don't know yet. But I don't want to stop liking that person. No. It's more like I can't stop liking anytime soon," I sighed.

Maybe it was only my assumption but she looked a bit pained. She shook herself up and flashed me yet another smile,
"That's the attitude! We really shouldn't give up before we try. Learn from me. I liked you. So I tried reaching out to you. And I got rejected. Haha," she looked embarrassed saying this.

But she continued, "..But I'm glad I gave it a go. If I hadn't done anything, I would be struggling with myself cos I would have never known if I had a chance or not."

"Noona...," I started,

"Go for it, Taehyung-ah. No matter what happens, you should give it a shot. So that you don't have any regrets later on." She concluded.

I couldn't help chuckling. It was a lot more difficult than just that. But she was right.

I didn't want to give up without trying at least. As cliché as it sounds, I wanted to give myself a chance to find out if I even had a chance at all.

This could probably hurt hyung's and I friendship. Even the group. But how long could I stay still and pretend?
I was making myself miserable.
It was a dangerous gamble but I finally decided to throw myself at the line.

I looked over at Noona. She was pouting as she stared at the setting sun.

I leaned closer and gave her a quick tight hug from behind and let go. She turned around startled.

"Thank you, Noona."
"For being a great friend."

She smirked sheepishly. I bade her good-bye and rushed out the house.

I was running.
I was gonna do something dangerous.
But I had never felt more alive.

In a matter of minutes, I reached the dorm and flung the door open panting heavily. I had to do it quick before this adrenaline left me.

I rushed into the living room and everyone was there.

Watching TV, laughing, quarrelling, eating, drinking.

They all turned at my sudden entrance. Jin-hyung was on the floor as he looked up at me.

I had to do it before rationality hits me. I had to do it while this foolish bravery still lasted. I had to before I become a coward again...

"JIN-HYUNG. I LIKE YOU!" I shouted abruptly.

My mind went blank.
And so did all 6 faces staring at me.