SCENERY / Taejin

18. Storm

"Stop staring at me!"
Jin-hyung shouted with a laugh. He was driving and kept his eyes straight ahead on the road, trying to hide his face from me but I could see him red as a tomato.
I didn't reply but grinned even more, my boxy smile starting to hurt my jaws.

We were driving back home in the late night, soft snow lightly covering the grasses on the sides of the road and fogging the windows of the car due to the cold. But my head and face was burning. I couldn't stop giggling as I occasionally turned to stare at hyung looking equally flustered as I was.

"Will you stop it??" he was trying to hold in his laughter.

"I can't help it, we...ki....tssss," I suck in my breath and shouted out, "....WE KISSED!"

Hyung got startled and slapped my arm.

"Are you a kid?? Stop making me embarrassed! I'm driving and the snow is getting thicker!"

"But still.....we kissed...finally.. hehe.." I wiggled in my seat happily.

Hyung shot me a glance and he smiled.
He cleared his throat and tried to keep a poker face again.
"Why are you so excited over a kiss? I'm sure you've kissed alot before..," his voice trailed off.

Was I getting a Jelly Jin again?

"But it's my first kiss with YOU..that's why..."

"...ahh no, it's our second actually.." I quieted my voice down.

"What?? WHAT?"

"Nothing.."

"KIM TAEHYUNG!"

"Ikissedyouoncewhenyouwereasleepthatonetimewhen.."
I choked on air and started a bout of coughing to avoid his stare.

Hyung sighed, "I don't know what I'm going to do with you....I wonder if anyone saw us. We were literally kissing on the road in a public place, better yet a tourist spot packed with hundreds of people." He furrowed his eyebrows looking worried. I knew hyung felt the most responsible for the group's safety. I bit my lips feeling a little guilty.

"Hyung,do you...regret it?" I looked at him, my heart in my throat and chest empty and paining.

"Huh? Regret what?"

"..the kiss?"

He had kissed me back. I knew he did. There was no mistaking it cos I would never forgot how it felt when his lips and tongue pressed against mine, seeking for entry. I bit my lips thinking about it again, heart torn anticipating if one of the happiest feeling of ecstasy I had ever experienced would be an action of regret on his side.

I stared at him, looking like a kicked puppy dreading his answer.

He stared ahead, keeping silent for a while and when I was just about to give up, he shook his head. And again vigorously. More to assure himself than to me.

"..no," he choked out almost inaudible.

I could see the fear in him. I knew he was battling a million emotions in his head. The hyung we know has never exposed himself to emotions. He constantly told us that he was happy with the simplest things in life- good food, good rest, family and friends and that relationships and too much feelings complicated his happy-go-lucky lifestyle.

Hyung hated confrontations, arguments and tension. And that was all I've given him since my confession. But I wanted to prove him that there were other things that we could have. If only he could feel what I do, this exhilarating feeling of loving someone so much and having him close to you, to touch, to hold, to talk and laugh with, to just enjoy their presence.