SCENERY / Taejin

24. It's Time

It's 4AM and I'm wide awake. No matter the weather, I always wake up in cold sweat at dawn, almost everyday as if on routine. I would dream of hyung in my arms like we had cuddled that one morning. The emptiness to which I wake up to cruelly throws me back to reality and I stay awake for hours, just staring at the windows.

The vast bedroom doesn't really help either. If anything else, it only makes the loneliness worse.

My phones chimes with a text from my assistant containing my schedule. I groan remembering that I have to be at some talk show today. I hate these things more than filming. Stretching, I force myself up, drained and lifeless from lack of sleep. I can already tell it's not gonna be a good day.

I find myself backstage in a dressing room a few hours later. People running hurriedly around, chattering incessantly, it's chaos and I feel nauseous.

"V-ssi, we're ready in 5 minutes." The staff informs me and disappears right after.

"Who else is coming today?" I ask my assistant.

"Your co-actress, Miss (name) and singer (name). They usually invite 5-6 people but you're a special guest so they cut down the number of guests for this episode," he replies smiling.

"How long does it last?" I ask again unfazed.

"Uh..er..the show runs for 45 minutes, Sir. So filming will be a little more than an hour or so."

"Ok. Refuse any delay or plans for dinner if they ask. Tell them I have schedules after this, understand?"

"Yes,Sir."

"Let's get this done fast," I get up impatiently. Something just keeps irking me this evening.

.
"Welcome, V-ssi. To our talk show as our special guest of the new season. Everyone, please a round of applause." The MC claps animatedly.

"Thank you for having me," I give a wide smile.

"And let's also welcome Miss...."

The minutes passes by slowly. Repetitive questions about my drama, plans for the new year and tit bits in between. I didn't have to say much. My co-actress does most of the talking, cheerfully and I appreciate that.

Towards the end, they start with the questions they really want to ask.

"V-ssi, there's been talks going around about you on the sets?" One of the lady MCs inquires slyly.

"What about?" I try to keep on my smile, not looking forward to whatever was coming.

"They're saying you refuse to film kiss scenes? Is that right?"

I open my mouth but they don't even wait for me to answer.

"Ahh..Maybe V-ssi feels uncomfortable about it?" Another one of the host joins in.

"But why?"

"V-ssi was actually suspected to be the one kissing Seokjin-ssi during that scandal years ago. Right?" A comedian among the host party, too loud for his own good blurts out.

This makes the atmosphere uncomfortable and the MC lady almost glares at him.

"No..No..that's just internet talk. The agency officially stated that it wasn't him. It's just fans shipping or either hating. V-ssi, don't mind him."

"Yah..I'm just suggesting if V-ssi feels uncomfortable kissing infront of the camera because his name was used for such a scandal like that." He defends himself, looking at me apologetically.

My mind goes blank as they throw words back and forth. I don't know what to answer nor do I want to. This was live televison and no matter what I do, it will always be wrong in the eyes of my agency. I bite my lips and slumping into my chair, I pray to just disappear.