MY GIRLS| billie eilish|

Chapter 35

"Billie we need to talk, I heard everything."

BILLIES POV

Shit

I cant believe he heard everything. Why am I so stupid. He's about to put me on blast. All I can do is prepare myself for it.

"W-what are you talking about?" I said stuttering like a fool

" Oh um I don't know. How you been stringing both of them along,"

I fucking froze. How am I supposed to deny any of this. I know it's true.

" How could you do that Billie? We all know what happened between you and Q before, and even though he's one of my best friends, we all saw what he did to you. He cheated- multiple times! And from what we've seen these past couple days Kat's been nothing but a great girlfriend-"

"She cheated on me too!"

Why did I just say that. Am I just riding the stupid wave today? Oh my lord.

"You know what that's not important. None of it is. They aren't perfect but I love them both and, as I'm sure you heard in there, I can't make up my mind."

" Well you need to. Personally, I think Kat is what's best for you. Even though she did cheat, she's the one that's been there for you, and I haven't seen you this happy in a long time. Brandon just want's what he can't have. Don't you find it a little sus that he's only now come to you about his 'feelings' when you introduce him to Kat. He had nothing to say about it before." Eli spoke

"Before?! Are you fucking serious. Before what? huh? Before there was a gun pointed at me?! Of course that's going to change how he feels. And how I feel! This is why I didn't tell you! Or anyone. I didn't ask for anyone's fucking opinion on this. You think I don't know that I'm stringing them both along? I'm not trying to. Why do you think Kat and I took a break? I don't want to do that. I want to be good for her and him! This break was for me to figure my shit out. By myself. Not with the help of you and your god damn opinion." I said in a huff

" Really? You want to be good for both of them? You say this break is for you right? Then why are you here with him while she's at home crying?" Eli said harshly

"Are you fucking stupid? He took a bullet for me, I need to make sure he's okay. I can figure out how I feel where ever the hell I am an- Wait Kat's crying?" I knew something was up, " You're lying. She went home cause she was tired."

" Yeah tired of your shit. Why would I lie? She called me earlier asking how everyone was doing. I could hear it in her voice, every time it cracked, every time I heard her sniffle. You could hear that she had been. But of course she put her feelings aside and called to make sure you were okay."

I did this to her. Why am I such a fuck up. I keep ruining everything that's good for me

"Why would she call you and not me?" I asked

"Maybe cause you just dumped her to re-explore your feelings with your ex, bozo. You really shouldn't be here while figuring shit out, it's only going to make you more confused. I can call you if something happens. You need to go home and figure this out. By yourself. Or else all you're going to hear is everyone's 'god damn opinion'." He said gesturing to my left

I looked at what he was pointing at and saw Dani and Isaac with shocked expressions on their faces.

Great. Now they know too

"Bil-" Isaac started, walking towards me.

"Whatever." I said pushing past them all heading back into the room.

I walked in as Brandon's eyes met mine. He wore a smile on his face, until he saw mine.

I walked to my seat right next to his and started grabbing my things.

" What's wrong Bil?" He asked bringing his hand up to my cheek wiping away a tear I didn't know was there.

Fuck when did I get so soft

I slung my jacket over my arm and held his hand in place.

"I'm leaving now, but I'll be in touch okay." I said removing his hand

He gave me a nod, but I could tell he wanted me to stay when he was a bit reluctant to let my hand go.

I grabbed my things and turned away, only to see those three bozos in the doorway watching the small interaction.

Why do they just eavesdrop all the time, it's fucking weird.

I just scoffed and pushed past them again.

------

I walked through the door and saw my family in the living room watching a movie.

"Hey Billie, come join us" Finneas chirped way too happy for the mood I was in right now.

I ignored him and made my way to my room slamming the door and locking it.

I turned on my red light and laid spread out on my bed just thinking about what I've been putting everyone through. The thoughts swarming in my head made me cry for hours on end, I felt like I was in hell.

I constantly do this. I'm my own monster. I always ruin everything.

I stayed this way for far too long. I checked the time and it was 2:00 am.

I couldn't sleep. I haven't slept in two days, and there's no way I could now.

I went to my computer and started playing one of my playlists.

By the time it was three I found myself crocheting to a random lil baby song.

I posted on my story trying to focus on the fans, trying to seem like I was living my best life crocheting at fucking three in the morning, trying to act like I wasn't dying inside.

Why did I decide to take a break?

I knew this would be the worst plan ever but I did it anyway.

That's when I heard a knock at the door.

Who else would be up now other than

Finneas

daaaaammnnnnn she updates and shiiit

woah guys I actually posted within the week bahaha that's a first.

more coming soooooonnnn

love yall

-M (Erika don't expose my name. thankyouuu)