MY GIRLS| billie eilish|

Chapter 47

*2 weeks later*

KATHERINES POV

I posted the video one minute ago. I didn't edit it at all. I wanted it to be as raw as possible.

Over the past two weeks I've been paranoid about posting it. But those were the things I had to get off my chest.

A part of me wants Billie to see it so she can hear my apology. While the other part is terrified she might take it the wrong way.

These last few weeks have been horrible. I miss her. But she's moving on right now and it would be wrong of me to come back into her life. Q gets out of the hospital today, she's probably with him.

Don't think like that.

Not only was she hurting me, but I was hurting her too. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

Everything went wrong that night at the club.

Why?

Because of Bryan, who only entered her life the second I did. Every single thing that happened that night up to Q getting shot, was all my fault.

I know some might say it wasn't and it was all Bryan's fault. And it was his choice that led to do it all and trust me, I know. But he wouldn't have had those choices to make had I not met Billie.

But why did he do it.

Even though the video is out, I still don't feel normal. I don't think I'll ever be able to feel okay until I get some answers.

– – – – –

BILLIES POV

"I'd like to think she's trying, and doing well. I wish We didn't end up like we did. I don't want her to think I meant what I said. I made it seem like I didn't love her. Which is so wrong. If she ever were to see this... I want you to know I love you. I always will. But this was something we both needed. I hope this video didn't make you overthink as much as it did me, because right now I want to be with you cuddled in your bed watching the office or some shit, before everything went wrong... but we can't live in the past."

"Billie! Why is the door locked?" Finneas called knocking on my bedroom door.

"Wait a second!"I said wiping my eyes.

I stood in front of my mirror trying to rub the red out of my eyes, before opening the door.

Finneas took one look at me and I instantly regretted not taking more time to clear my face.

"What's up?" I asked.

He instantly pulled me into a hug.

"Quit torturing yourself."He said glancing at my phone.

"Have you seen it?"

"Yeah I have."

"I miss her." I cried.

"You'll get her back. It won't be easy, but you will."

"How? We leave for tour in three days, and I don't think she's even heard one of the songs I wrote for her."

"You'll find a way."

"Gee thanks for the help." I said sarcastically, " what did you need anyway?" I said wiping my eyes

" I just wanted to make sure you were all packed for tour." He said sitting on my bed, " but you're obviously not."

"I don't wanna go." I said laying down next to him.