MY GIRLS| billie eilish|

Chapter 52

KATHERINES POV

Billie and I just sat there, for who knows how long, in silence.

It was pretty awkward. For me anyways. I was trying my hardest to not say something stupid. It's just what I do when I'm drunk or high. It's really bad when I'm high, but I always explain my thought process. I can't help it. Any filter I have is like ight imma head out whenever I drink. So when I say I'm trying my hardest not to do dumb shit, I mean it.

"So you don't wanna talk... or?" Billie said finally looking at me for the first time in what's felt like hours.

"Not yet." I said still looking at the wall across from me.

"Can I say something then?" She asked.

"I cant stop you." I replied.

Billie shifted her body so she was facing me.

Oh shit this about to be serious. Should've said no.

"Kat I saw your video."

With that I grabbed the bottle and brought it to my lips, taking a few big gulps.

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I woke up in a room I didn't recognize. I took a second to take in my surroundings, without actually moving. You know when your brain plays tricks on you and makes you think there's someone behind you so you shouldn't turn around.

I swear my brain's always doin that shit

I thought as I flipped over. But then I realized, no it wasn't playin tricks. There was a person behind me. I wasn't freaked out though. I could recognize that hair anywhere.

I sat up slightly leaning on my elbows. I lightly shook Billie trying to wake her up. That girl was out. She was gone.

"Billie wake up" I whispered.

After a couple more shakes she groaned. " Baby stop." She said throwing her arm over me and snuggling into my side the way she used to.

I stayed still for a second not knowing what to do. She cant do that shit. But at the same time I'm not gonna make her feel bad for doing something like that when she's half asleep. She doesn't know what she's doing. Force of habit?

I relaxed in her arms and just let it happen. As hard as this is, I've missed this feeling she gives me. She makes me calm but crazy at the same time. But isn't that what happens when you love someone. I smiled as I felt her pull me closer and bury her face in the crook of my neck.

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"Kat. Wake up. Kat?" I heard being whispered

I opened my eyes and found Billie hovering over me. She smiled and backed up.

"You're up." she said happily.

"I am now" I said sitting up, rubbing my eyes.

"Dude it's two." She laughed showing me her phone screen.

It was still a picture of us. I must've made a face when I saw that cause she flipped her phone back over quickly. I didn't mean to it just be like that sometimes.

"Damn. I didn't realize. I haven't had sleep that good... in a while." I said trying to make it less awkward but failing miserably.

" Me either." she replied, " Wanna talk about last night?"

"I don't know what to say. don't remember most of it." I said rubbing my head.

" We were in the washroom on the floor. And I told you I saw your video and your dumbass started chugging the rest of the bottle right before you ran away from me-"

"- And your slow ass couldn't keep up huh?" I teased

"I did... eventually. And I'm not that slow." she said crossing her arms making me laugh.

"What else?" I asked

"After a while of chasing you I finally caught up and took you to bed. I was gonna leave you to sleep but you made me stay, not that I had a problem with it, and I ended up passing out in here with you." Billie said playing with the ends of her hair.

" So I didn't do or say anything dumb?" I asked

"Besides the running around, nah." She said laughing at the thought.

"Thank god" I said about to stand up out of the bed, before Billie grabbed my hand pulling me back down.

"Can we actually talk about everything now?" she asked looking at me almost desperately.

Even though I'm scared to talk about everything, now's a good time. I'm not drunk and we've both had enough time apart to clear our heads and to figure out what we want to say.

"Yeah, do you wanna start or should I?" I asked turning towards her so we could face each other.

"You can, you already know how I feel." Billie said.

"Okay here goes... hearing all your songs last night scared the fuck out of me. I wasn't ready for that. Every song that came on had me replaying our whole relationship, the good and the bad. And maybe if I heard it alone I would've felt better about it. But I could feel you, of all people, burning holes in the side of my head while it was happening. Just when I was starting to get used to being... alone again you had to just go and- be you and have me crying all over again. But no matter how hard I try I can't get you out of my head and it makes me so frustrated because I love you and I hate you at the same time and I don't think I'll ever be able to stop..." I said letting every thought that came to mind slip out.

"Kat, I love you and I hate myself for what I did to you. I was being stupid reading into something that people kept putting in my head. I was doing dumb shit. That morning where I said all the wrong things, I was just so nervous I decided to listen to Isaac's stupid advice-"

"Isaac's advice?" I asked

"Yeah, like most of the shit I said was from him. I shouldn't have listened though, cause it was stupid and I should've known better. All because of that dumb shit I lost you and that's the biggest mistake I've ever made." Billie said grabbing onto my hands. "Can you please just give me another chance. I can't promise I won't hurt you again because that's how relationships work. But I can promise I'll love you and only you. Please Kat."

"Billie-" I started.

"I know you want this too. You said so yourself. I saw your video and I know you miss me as much as I miss you. Can we just restart?" she said bringing my hand up to her lips. "Please?"

I thought for a second before wrapping her up in a hug, giving her a kiss on her jaw. I felt one of her tears hit my shoulder as we hugged.

"No more bullshit?" I whispered

"No more bullshit."

they finally made up🥺

i love you guys

-m

Thoughts on what will happen next?