The Devil

Chapter 30

I didn't have any friends for the one and only reason that I pushed them all away. They demanded to know everything about Mike but I just couldn't let them in. It was a sensitive topic.

It still is.

Before I knew it, I heard the familiar voice behind the line. It was only then when I realised how I missed that voice.

"Mariah?" The painful voice said.

"Hey Ashely" I whispered. Once the silence began to tear apart every piece of my weak heart, Ashely broke it.

"How... umm... how are you? You sound a bit sick" She asked quietly.

She knew me the best. From knowing when I am sick just by hearing my voice to knowing when I am terrified or even happy just by looking at my face. 

"Yeah, I have a fever, but I am slowly starting to feel better. How are you?" I asked back.

"I am good, amazing actually, I am getting married tomorrow." My heart stopped. My best friend is getting married tomorrow and I am not there for her. She is fucking getting married and all I think of is using her for my own benefit. Ew. I am disgusting.

"You are getting married?!" I screamed from both happiness and pain.

"Yeah... do you remember Jack?" She chuckled.

"Of course I remember Jack! You guys just got together before... yeah."

Before I pushed them all away.

"Right! And he is amazing Mariah, I love him so much." She ignored my last comment and I was grateful for it. She was always very careful with her responds.

"I am happy for you Ashley, I really am." I admitted. Ashley was always a very big part of me and I was glad that she found her other half. While I am still looking for the ׳one׳.

"So... Why did you call Mariah?" She asked uncomfortably. 

"I rather not tell you. I feel like a very disgusting person right now. But I miss you Ashely. I guess I didn't realise it till now, but I really do." 

First step with dealing with feelings: Talk about them. 

It helps. Especially with a high fever. Well, not as high as before. 

"I miss you too Mariah. I felt so empty at first you don't even know." She whispered sadly. 

"I know and I am sorry from the bottom of my heart." I chuckled. 

"You always ruin the mood." She laughed along. 

"So Mariah, how is your lo.." Knowing what she would say, I stopped her immediately. 

"Don't even mention it." I told her. 

"Why?" She continued her laughing. 

"Because." I stated. 

"Well, I know for sure that Brian is still heartbroken." She teased. 

"No he isn't! He never had feelings for me Ashely and we both know it." I couldn't keep the smile away from my face. 

I missed her so fucking much. 

"Just so you know, he couldn't stop crying for at least a week from the moment you stopped talking to us." 

"I don't buy it." I laughed. 

Brian was always really nice to me, but not in that way. He tried to flirt sometimes for the one and only reason that he was bored and liked the chase. And hell, I gave him the chase. 

"Will you ever forgive me Mariah?" I asked out of nowhere, eager to hear her respond. 

"On one condition!" She happily answered. 

"Keep going." I would do anything to get my best friend back to my miserable life. 

"Come to my wedding." She suddenly said.I felt my heart beating fast and hard. 

"Wh..what?" I asked, shocked. 

"I want you in my wedding. I will send you the invitation over a text. Don't think of not coming because man I will kill you." After those harsh words, she hung up. 

I was still shocked, but it didn't stop me from planning how the day after would look like, feel like. How many pain killers I would have to take just to feel my stomach again. 

But I was going to go no matter what. 

************

Late at night, I heard loud footsteps then extreme warmth. My heart began to beat faster, and all I wanted to do was turn around and kiss the shit out of him. 

I missed him. 

But just a bit. 

"I am sorry." He whispered in my ear while bringing me closer to him on my bed by my waist. 

"I will not use that name again with you." He promised. 

When I finally turned around to kiss him, I felt the sudden need to tell him how I feel. I was brave enough to do it just because of the fever, but there was a big part of me that didn't want to scare him away. I didn't want to listen to that part and told him straight away:

"I like you Kevin." 

"You do?" His beautiful eyes went wide and I felt his body stiffen against mine. 

"I do, but you have to control yourself you know?" I touched his chest to relax him. 

He looked tensed. 

"I know and I am sorry. Won't happen again." He wrapped his arms around me and began kissing my neck. I suddenly felt so fucking turned on but couldn't do anything about it. It was a huge step that I wasn't ready for. 

When I felt his hands under my white hoodie I knew that I had to stop him. I couldn't stop him. 

"Your fever is not as bad." I heard the lust in his voice and breathed hard. 

"I know." I whispered, telling myself again and again to not get pregnant as a result of a teased stomach.

His huge warm hands were all over my hot skin and without even noticing, I could finally feel something other than pain in there. Butterflies. 

"I like you Mariah. More than you can imagine." In a sudden move, I pushed him away from me. It was even more shocking than the wedding invitation. 

"It scares the shit out of me." He admitted while looking deeply into my eyes. 

"It scares the shit out of me too. You are not the easiest person" I laughed nervously. 

"I would do anything to make it up for you after what I put you through all of these damn weeks." I saw so much regret in his warm eyes that I was slowly starting to forget our past, my past,  just to focus more on the present. Our present. 

"Come to a wedding with me."