G A N G S T E R <~minsung~>

chapter 18

Warning!!!! Mentions of suicid,depression, and attempts of suicde and mostly sad. Im sorry
Jisungs POV
After minho was done making hickeys on my chest and stomach, he layed down next to me. "Princess, can i ask you something?" He said as he turned to face me. I nodded at him doing the same action. "Will you be my boyfriend?" He asked as he wrapped his hands around my waist. "Well i dont know, i mean you took my virginity, you call me pet names and call me yours, along with all these hickeys. I thought it was just a hook up." I said.
Minhos POV
I felt my heart break. Does he only want this to be a hook up? "Im joking baby. Id love to be you're boyfriend." He said smiling at me i felt a smile go on my face, but replaced with a smirk. "That was very mean, my princess." He looked at me with wide eyes. I started to tickle him till he couldnt breath. I smiled at him. Hes finally mine fully.

A couple weeks later
Jisungs POV
I felt my heart break as i looked at the date. I walked to the traning room to see Changbin punching the punching bag with a red face, hes been crying. I walked over to him. "Hey.." I said softly as i stopped him from punching it any harder. He didnt have gloves on and he might break his fist. "What?!" He yelled at me. I moved back a little. "Are you..ok? You need to talk?" I said. "No just leave me the hell alone." He said through his teeth. I nodded and walked away. Before i left fully i put a ice pack down on the bench for when he calms down. I walked over to felix who was in the kitchen. "Hey can we talk? I just really ne-" he cut me off. "No we cant talk! How about you go to someone else and stop talking to me?!" He yelled at me. I felt my eyes fill with tears but still gave him the space he needed. I put a box of tissues for him. I can tell he wants to cry. I walked over to see seugmin, hyunjin and I.N talking and laughing. Im not gonna bother them its not that big. I walked over to see chan at the misson table, half way falling asleep. I shook him he looked at me sleeply. "Hey can we- you know what nevermind come on." I got him up and moved him to his bed and pulled the blankets over him smiling as i watched him fall asleep, this is what my brother used to do. I felt tears flood again. I walked over to the living room to see woojin writting something down. "Hey hyung can we ta-" he cut me off. "Sorry Ji cant im making sure we have the bills done." "Oh ok oh um chans asleep in yalls room." He looked up and smiled and nodded. I sighed and went to mine and minhos room. He'll for sure be able to talk. "Hey hyung can we-" i walked in to see him smiling at his phone. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Texting." "Who?" I asked curious. "N-No one." He said. "Who Minho hyung?" I asked getting jealous a little. "My ex okay! Now get off my case." He said walking into the restroom. His ex really? And he was smiling he never smiled like that with me. I got up and grabbed my shoes and slipped them on. I check the kitchen and dining room to see no one. I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote 'going for a walk. Also goodbye i love you guys.- Han Jisung"
I walked out with tears in my eyes as i pulled my hoodie on.

Minho's POV
God what am i doing! Why did i say that? Im an idiot i have to find him. As i opened the door i saw changbin and felix about to knock on my door. "Have you seen Ji we need to apologize. We had a fight and got mad and accidentally yelled at him." Felix said with a sad look. I looked at them with the same look. "I dont know where he is. I was gonna go find him because i snapped at him for some reason." I said looking behind them trying to see if i could see Jisung. Soon enough everyone came to the door. We looked around till chan called all of us to get in tge car. "What happened hyung?" Felix asked as we looked at his watery eyes. "He lefted a note. 'Going for a walk also goodbye love you guys.' Hes either gonna do something really dumb or he ran away." Chan said as we walked to tge car.

We drove around for a while till we drove past a brigde. I saw Jisungs jacket. "Stop the car!" I yelled as i saw him taking off his shoes and standing on top of the  platform of the bridge.
Jisuns POV
No one cares anymore. Youll be with your mother and brother again. I thought as i looked down at the pure concrete. I put my shoes on the thin platform, the laces tied and a paper with my name and why my shoes are there. I jumped on the other platform. I looked down. This is it. I spread my arms as my feet tilted on the edge, like it was debating whether i should jump or not. I felt a lump form in my throat and a pit in my stomach. The tears going down my face were the only warm thing i could feel. I felt the blood that flows through my veins feel like ice water, it felt like i was deaf. No noise could stop me now. This is the end for me. I took a deep breath in and closed my eyes and leaned foreword. I felt my body fall foreword.

I suddenly felt hands grab my arms and waist and yank me back. It felt like slow motion. It all stopped when i fell back on something. More tears fell down as i realized i didnt do it. But tears flooded when i saw who saved me. "What were you thinking?!" Minho said as tears ran down his cheek like a marathon. "Why?! Why?!" He yelled as he held me on the ground and rocked me back and forth. My mind went blank as i looked around. Everyone was here. I started to feel more tears roll down my face as i realized they have now seen this side of me. I covered my face and cried more. "J-Jisung im sorry. Were sorry." Felix said as he dropped next to me. "W-why you sorry lixie?" I said looking at him. "Because i yelled at you and didnt let you speak. I just brushed you off like your problems didnt matter." He said tears rolling down his face. I wiped them and smiled. "Its ok. They dont matter any ways." I said as my eyes filled with more tears. Minho turned me to him "What do you mean doesn't matter?! You almost just killed yourself!" He yelled at me. He looked so broken with tears and messy hair. I fixed his hair but he grabbed my hands stopping me. "I just let my self think to much. Nothing it was nothing lets just go back before people see use. Sorry for worrying you guys. " i said as i was about to get up but was pulled back down. "We dont care if anyone sees us. You will tell us why the fuck you just tried to jump." Chan said he was crying just as hard. I took a shaky breath in. "Todays my mom and brothers death day. The day my mom died and the same day my brother killed himself. I thought i wasnt need anymore and i didnt need to be here any more. So i thought how about i just join them. So i walked here and took the opportunity. I mean with everything thats happened i feel like god put me through enough." I said wiping my tears. "No no you are need by all of us. You have no idea what we would have done if they didnt pull you back." Seugmin said. "God i love you guys." I said as more tears rused to my eyes. They all came next to me and hugged me. I really do love all of them.