Solangelo 1

Part 22

NICO

My nightmare starts off as it always does, crammed in a box, unable to see. The air is thin. But the sounds of Tartarus don't start to tune is as they usually do.
Instead, the darkness expands from the box, to a room. I'm able to move freely. I don't go far. My hand runs up against the wall, a rough, damp texture.
'It's not a lot now.' A voice comes, I turn. My dad stands in front of me, a long black coat, dark top and trousers. He was never one for colour, 'but you could make it into something, I'm sure.'
'I'm not really feeling up to one of your guessing games, father.' I say, leaning against the wall and crossing my arms.
'I'm sure I don't know what you mean.' He says.
'Alright, I'll bite. Where are we? Why are you here? Should I be worried?' I ask, looking around. I feel oddly calm; which ironically makes me unsettled after becoming so used to the chaos that was my subconscious.
'Call yourself my son and you can't even tell when you're in the underworld.' He says, 'and no need to be worried, you're quiet safe.'
'Why...why am I here?' I ask, becoming worried. Like most people, I've begun to view meetings with my father as a sign for disaster and devastation.
'Well, your time on the upside's come to an end. You made it longer than most of my kids. I mean, granted, you spent most of your life in a magic casino but still! I call this a win!' He says, speaking fast, before I realise what he's said.
'Hold on, what are you saying? Are you saying I'm dead?!' I say, standing straight, suddenly very self aware. I'm not dreaming. This is real.
'My boy, of course. It was only a matter of days. After the journey with that statue, shadow travelling so much. You could hardly exist in that world at all, yet alone exist happily. I promise you Nico, this is the best thing for you.' He says. But I'm not listening. I'm beginning to panic, breathing fast, my mind a mess.
'You have to send me back. You have to.' I say, stepping towards him. I'm unable to keep the desperation out of my voice, 'please. Please. I'll do anything. I have to go back. I want to go back.'
'I thought you of all people would welcome death. You were the child of mine who understood it best. Surely you can understand this.' He says, if I didn't know better I'd say he was disappointed.
'I will. I will welcome it, when it's my time. It's not my time. I know it's not my time.' I say. I speak quickly and scattered. I hardly know what I'm saying. All I can think about is Will, and how I know he would be doing anything to bring me back right now.
'Nico. I can promise you, your life up there is not a good one. You will be cursed with the memories of Tartarus forever. They will never leave you, they'll only get worse. I did you a favour.' He says. And I believe him. But that doesn't change my mind.
'Send me back, father, I'm not done.' I say. My voice shakes but I stand my ground, 'Not yet.'