His Lie in April - 四月の彼の嘘 (Shigatsu no Kare no Uso) (COMPLETE)

Breaking Point

CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: A suicide attempt and some language.

Two days had now passed since the memorial concert. On that day, Seiya returned to Canada for work. Even though that dinner had helped her get her mind off Kousei's death momentarily, those good feelings would turn out be only temporary, and she was now back to her broken self. She was in her green Saskatchewan Roughrider retro T-shirt, and she was sitting on her bed. 

She was now just about angry and frazzled over the events of the past several months that had culminated in Kousei's suicide. She looked at her melodica and violin, and the emotions from the fact that the man she had the deepest feelings for, Kousei Arima, had been gone for almost two weeks now, was now becoming too much of a burden for her heart to bear; Kaori had now reached her emotional breaking point.

She started by pulling her hair angrily in frustration, yelling "GODDAMNIT! I HATE THE SOUND OF MUSIC!" Kaori then slammed down her melodica in frustration, breaking it. "I HATE THE DAMN MELODICA! WHY DID KOUSEI HAVE TO KILL HIMSELF, AND MY OWN MUSICAL MOTIVATION?! I DON'T NEED MUSIC, MY VIOLIN OR THIS MELODICA ANYMORE!!" She then put her violin away in its case angrily and she shut the case once the violin and bow were inside. 

"AND TO HELL WITH THE VIOLIN!! I'M NEVER GOING TO PLAY IT AGAIN!!" She then kicked the violin case in anger and continued pulling her hair in frustration. "WHAT THE HELL DID THIS GUY EVER DO TO DESERVE DEATH?! I MEAN, THIS PTSD GUY WITH GLASSES JUST SWEEPS ME OFF HIS FEET, HE FEELS HAPPY, THEN HE GETS INTO TO THESE FUCKING ACCIDENTS AND HIS HEAD GETS DAMAGED LIKE HUMPTY DUMPTY AND KILLS HIMSELF TO REPAY ME FOR BEING MY FRIEND AND HELPING HIM GET HIM OUT OF HIS SHELL?! UGGGHHHH!! I JUST CAN'T..... TAKE THIS PAIN IN MY HEART ANYMORE!! HE'S LEFT THIS HUGE CRATER IN MY HEART, AND IT'S GETTING BIGGER BY THE DAY!!" 

Kaori had now become suicidal. She then angrily went into the kitchen and tried to find some way to end her life. Kousei's death had finally hit her hard like a hammer. She wanted to find some way to end her life. But how was she going to do it? "This hole in my heart..... is too much for me to bear! Why, oh why, did Kousei have to be cursed?! This is too much! I want to be reunited with him again..... and I'm going to find something that will help me with that! The sleeping pills have to be here, somewhere.... or maybe some knives will do the trick...." she whispered to herself. 

Kaori's first option was finding sleeping pills. And there the sleeping pills were, in plain view on the countertop in the kitchen. "I can't take this anymore, Kousei Arima.... you meant a lot to, and you chose to repay my friendship by killing yourself.... this is goodbye....." Hiroko Seto, looking in the distance with Tsubaki, Watari and Kaori's parents, would try and intervene. Just then, Hiroko, who spotted Kaori with the sleeping pills, said "Ryoko, Yoshiyuki, Tsubaki, Watari, GRAB HER!" With that, all five of them came up to Kaori, and before she could even open the bottle of sleeping pills, Hiroko swiped them, and the remaining four people grabbed each one of the hysterical Kaori's limbs, and she tried her hardest to resist the four of them. However, the strength of Tsubaki, Watari, Ryoko and Yoshiyuki's grip on Kaori made it near-impossible for her to move. She was now flailing her arms and legs in frustration.

"LET ME GO, YOU STUPID IDIOTS!!" Kaori yelled at them. Tsubaki, Watari, Hiroko and even Kaori's parents had some words for her. Watari spoke first "No, don't do it, Kaori!! Don't even thinking about killing yourself!" Tsubaki was next. "We are NOT going to lose another friend this month, not like Kousei!! Kaori, don't even think about doing the deed!"

Kaori begged to the five people, as she was being restrained, sobbing, yelled out "LEAVE ME ALONE, DAMMIT! I CAN'T TAKE THIS LOSS ANYMORE! IT'S LEFT A HUGE HOLE IN MY HEART!" Ryoko, Kaori's mother was next to speak. She pleaded with her daughter "No, Kaori, dearie, don't! We love you too much to take your own life!!" Kaori's father, Yoshiyuki begged her daughter "We can't let you do that, Kaori, we would all miss you too much! We know how much Kousei meant to you but doing this would be taking a cowardly way out! Please, Kaori, think about this!"

Kaori continued to flail and fight, but the four people had grabbed her almost so tightly, it was a nigh-impossible proposition for Kaori to break free from them. "DAMMIT, LET ME GO, YOU GUYS!! LET ME GO!! THIS CRATER IN MY HEART IS TOO BIG!!" Hiroko Seto had the strongest words yet for Kaori. "Kousei wouldn't like seeing you like this, and he wouldn't want you dying in the same way he did, either. YOU STILL HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU!" Hiroko calmed down momentarily and told Kaori "Kaori.... we all know you are heartbroken, but being a coward, and to not face a full life is absolutely foolish, and a waste. You have to keep going! Winston Churchill said, 'If you're going through hell, keep moving.'" 

That did it. Kaori started to stop resisting, and she slowly began to slow down. With this, each of her four friends let her go. Kaori then started to break down and sob. Hiroko then hugged her. Kaori then said as she sobbed "OK, OK.... you all win.... I'm an emotional mess..... I will check myself into a mental hospital, tomorrow.... it's the only thing that will save me....." As the two females hugged each other, Hiroko told Kaori in a soothing and motherly tone of voice "There, there, sweetie..... it is going to be alright...." 

Ryoko told the other friends, "Guys, please put the sleeping pills in the toilet, and put all the knives away, so that she doesn't think about ever pulling this thing off again...." Tsubaki, Watari and Yoshiyuki did just that. Kaori would voluntarily put herself in a mental ward the next day. However, in another part of Tokyo, was another girl who would also try and end her life (but in a different way), that would set Kaori on her eventual path to redemption.