His Lie in April - 四月の彼の嘘 (Shigatsu no Kare no Uso) (COMPLETE)

"Remember Me"/"We Can Heal Together"

MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR: We're now headed to the last few chapters of this story; we are finally near the end! Enjoy what I have now.

-----

That afternoon, Hiroko Seto, had a second letter from Kousei that was to have been read after his death. Kaori was out of the robe and into her Saskatchewan Roughrider team T-shirt.

As Hiroko and Kaori gathered in her room to talk about things, Hiroko asked "Kaori, how was your stay in the mental ward?" Kaori said "It was alright.... I was messed up before, but I met this pianist named Keiko and she helped set me straight. I feel a little better now, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself, now that I'm out of the mental hospital." Hiroko then showed the letter to Kaori. "Kaori, this is from Kousei. This is a second letter from him, and I think you should read it....." Kaori then opened the envelope. Unlike the first letter, this second was for Kaori only. It read as follows:
Hello, Miss Miyazono.

It's hard to believe.... that I can actually remember the day I first met you many years ago. We were little, and we were such kindred spirits. I remember when you first saw me.... you laughed at me as I fumbled with getting myself situated with the piano. I was also just about tuned in with it; everything just happened naturally to me when I played. Then my mother died, and there went my whole motivation. I became just about tone-deaf, lost, someone who was up a creek without a paddle. So, I just about gave it up. But all I could think of was my mother and music. They were just about inextricably linked with me. Still, you saw me from afar and you were captivated by me. Quite a few years passed, and then we found ourselves in the same middle school. Don't get me wrong, you looked good with glasses, but I just wanted to see how cool you looked without them. You were also self-conscious about yourself. Yeah, I was still a bit tone-deaf.... but your free spirit really captured my heart. Our styles were different, you held a more looser style in playing your music, and I was a much more rigid kind of guy. Despite that, you really enthralled me with your skillful violin playing. You also found my faith in the playing the piano again. But then, this illness hit me. It's hard to believe, but you've somehow managed to be a very bright beacon of hope, even as the months went by, when all hope seemed lost within me. OK, I'll just cut to the chase.... I told a lie. I told Tsubaki I liked her, when the truth was.... I love you, Kaori. I never thought I'd say this.... but I fell madly in love with you. I wish were meant for each other. I also wish I could have told this to you face-to-face. You really brought me out of my shell, and what can I say? You freed me from my metaphorical shackles of my mother, and of my "metronome" style. You play the violin oh so damn well. You always put me in a trance when I hear your skillful playing, and we complimented ourselves awesomely. I also have this to say: It's hard to believe, but I wish you could lean on my chest, and embrace me. I really wish I could be by your side, gathering happiness. If I ever see you again, we'll know our love is true; on days when I can't sleep, I send my heart far away to you. So, Kaori, will you remember me long after I'm gone? Will you remember me in 5 years? In 10 years? Or even 20? When the time comes that I do leave this Earth, I hope that a thousand points of light will radiate..... knowing that I have left behind a wonderful impression. Kaori.... remember me. You gave me a chance to expose my real self at the piano. Tell Hiroko, Tsubaki and Watari to remember me as well. And so, Kaori, in conclusion: I love you. But, please, don't think of me too often. I don't want you getting sad about me. Always remember all this. And so, Kaori, I must now say farewell to this life, and wish you Godspeed. You've been a good, kind, and loyal friend to me, if not one of THE best friends to me, and you've made a real difference in my life. I will always treasure our relationship and think of you with fond memories, warm feelings, and a special place in my heart..... please, live well, Kaori. Just LIVE. I'll be walking beside you every step of the way. Thank you for everything.

-Kousei Arima

Kaori was touched by how Kousei really had felt about her, she started to cry. "Oh, it all ties together now...." Hiroko then said, "That's how he really felt about you after all this time, you meant the world to him." Kaori then said "You're right! He really did have feelings towards me..... he said, more or less, he was my oxygen." Hiroko then passed along some information. "By the way, the hospital said the pills that Kousei took to end his life, were actually meant for another patient and that a staffer had unwillingly left it there on accident. That employee has since resigned from the hospital to atone for this oversight; he was also fined 100000 yen and banned from working in any medical practice for five years for that act of negligence. Also, have you thought about the implications of yourself if we hadn't stopped you from overdosing like Kousei did? Remember, Kousei decided to end his life because he was terminally ill, and his brain was giving out; the doctors said due to the three blows to the head, the brain damage he had was quite severe. The blows to the head made him almost crippled and just about paralyzed, and only made his disease much worse; the coroners stated he had been in the equivalent of at least 100 car crashes. You, on the other hand, are healthy as can be. Kaori, please remember this: No matter how hard it is to control your grief after the loss of a loved one.... life still has to go on." 

Kaori, having a moment of clarity, then pondered and said "You're right! I shouldn't have touched those pills or even tried to get my hands on a knife to stab myself. ..... thank god you guys stopped me. I know that Kousei was in such deep pain when he killed himself.... I'm far from that, and that would have been a cowardly way for me to go.... and, how would the other people I know viewed me had I succeeded in my suicide attempt? Would they have either understood, forgave or hated me for such an act? Now I know this..... that week in the mental hospital really straightened me out. And now, I must get back my violin skills, try and play the Famicom less often, and get ready to get back on the violin again..... and I have to carry on without Kousei. I need to have it in my heart to perform my heart out for him, because I have to make him proud and know, he wouldn't have wanted it any other way!" 

Hiroko then smiled at Kaori, and said, "Now that is the proper way of thinking, Kaori dear." Just then, a door knocking was heard. Since Kaori and Hiroko were the only ones who were in the house at the moment, they were surprised. "Who is it, Kaori?" Kaori said, "I'm not sure..... I guess we'll find out." It was Keiko Tamura. Being from a different school, she wore a different uniform. Kaori looked surprised, but in a good way. Keiko had come back from the mental hospital and needed to talk to Kaori. 

Keiko said, "Kaori, am I glad I saw you again. I think I stumbled my way here, so don't look surprised that I found you here." Kaori said "Am I glad to meet you again, Keiko. I know you now, so I'm not mad that you found my place." Keiko then said "OK, I think I need to talk about what is going on. There will be a December musical festival contest. It is in early December, and it is for the Christmas holiday. I think I need a new accompanist to help me out in it..... and ever since I met you, I never forgot about you. You're the one who can help me get me back on my feet on the piano. Kaori... our hearts were both broken in September. When we met each other, I realized.... we should be friends. We are now. You had something in you that made me believe in you. We can heal together and make Kousei proud. We've had our share of regrets, heartbreak even, but I realized.... I could be a worthy successor as your accompanist. We will work hard to make Kousei proud here, and after all we have a competition to win after all..... this is the last major musical competition of the year." 

Kaori, realizing that Keiko is her key to getting her back on the path to the violin, agreed. The two shook hands, and as they hugged each other, Kaori said, "You got yourself a new accompanist. Our hearts may have broken for Kousei, but we're the ones that can help ourselves heal from our devastation. The show must go on, Keiko...... like that song by Queen. We can't be foolish in ending our own lives in the way we did anymore. We have to press on..... because, no matter how hard it is to control your grief after the loss of a loved one.... life still has to go on, Keiko. I'm ready for you."

Hiroko then looked at the two females. She smiled at them. "Well, Kaori, Keiko, you certainly have made a new friendship, as much as you have me now, Kaori. Come on, we have to get you both ready for December..... and like you said, the show must go on...."