We'll Be There

Inner Demons or Inner Feelings?

Kirstie's POV

I was lying in bed that night with my mind running wild. After Matt had told me, I reassured him that I was okay and I was glad he told me, but I needed time to think. I was glad that he'd told me when it was just the two of us, the other boys would have gone insane if he'd told us all together. I was also so relieved that Matt was the father and not some random guy that had taken advantage of me.

Matt is a good guy and he said he would support me and our baby. I know he didn't intentionally get me pregnant, but he seemed willing to step up to be a father. I didn't blame him for anything, it was just a mutual accident. I'm pretty sure I was happy about this accident. What would my mother think? I hadn't told her yet. I had only told the boys. I'd have to call her. And soon. It wouldn't be fair for her to find out through some tabloid and not from me.

What was the rest of the band going to think? They were happy to support me through the pregnancy and help with the baby, but would they still want to support me when they found out that Matt was the one that got me pregnant. I finally fell asleep wondering if I should let Matt fulfil his roll as the father. I love that he's part of the Pentatonix family, but did I love him enough to create this new family with him?

I woke up in the morning feeling like my stomach was on the floor. I jumped out of bd so fast, I think I scared the dogs. I was barely two months into this pregnancy, and I was already so tired of being sick all the time. I hoped I was one of the lucky ones that didn't have sickness the whole time. My Mum would be able to give me some advice and tell me what her pregnancy with me was like. It was nearing lunchtime when I finally plucked up the courage to call her.

"Hey baby." She said, picking up the phone.

"Hi Mum. How are you?"

"I'm okay. How are you?"

"I'm alright." I said quietly.

"You don't sound sure about that."

"There's something I need to tell you."

"Should I be sitting down?"

"Probably a good idea."

"What's going on baby?"

"Mum ... I'm pregnant." She fell silent. I thought she had dropped the phone for a moment. "Mum, you still there?"

"I'm still here." She whispered. "Do you know who the father is?"

"Yeah. It's Matt."

"And how does he feel about it?"

"He's willing to support me."

"I thought you were on birth control?"

"I was. I'd just finished a round of antibiotics, so it stopped working properly. The band and I went out one night and Matt came back home with me. I was drunk and he was tipsy."

"He took advantage of you?!"

"No, he didn't. He's not like that. It was just an accident. He was so apologetic when he told me it was him."

"Almost sounds like you have feelings for him." I fell silent at that comment. "Do you?"

"I don't know."

"So, are you keeping it?"

"Not it Mum. He or she. He or she is mine."

"Thank goodness for that. Let me know if you need any help or advice."

"I will. Hold on a second."

I put the phone down for a moment to run to the bathroom. My stomach had flipped and twisted violently, so I had to puke my guts up for the millionth time that day. It stopped after a couple of minutes and I went back to my phone.

"Okay, I'm back."

"Morning, noon and night sickness?"

"Yeah. It doesn't really stop."

"I had the same thing when I was pregnant with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Felt awful for days. It'll calm down soon."

"You know that word has no real time frame."

"I know. So, have you booked an ultrasound yet? And do you know how far along you are?"

"I'm 6-7 weeks from what the pregnancy test told me. I haven't booked an appointment yet. I'm a bit scared to."

"Why?"

"It all becomes too real if I do that."

"Darling, it'll be okay. I'll support you and I'm guessing the boys will to."

"Yeah, they said they would. I don't know if Matt being the father is going to affect that though."

"I'm sure it won't. Now, book that appointment and get some rest."

"I will. Love you Mum."

"Love you too sweetheart."

I ended the call feeling so much more positive about this situation. Mum wasn't mad at me at all. I had a feeling she wanted to kill Matt for a second, but accidents happen. Something she said stuck with me for the rest of the day.

Do I love Matt?