The Sweet Nothings || ✓

'I AM NOT YOURS TO COMMAND'

Lana walked down the corridor, her eyes staring at nothing in particular, just ahead.

". . . be so stupid! . . . ."

". . . .didn't follow up to even know her. . . "

". . . .she was here all this while. . . ."

". . . . working in the inner gang. .  . ."

". . . . . playing blood for blood. . . . ."

". . . . .could have saved her. . . . ."

All of it echoed in her head. This was her fault. All her fault. If she had followed up on all her gang members on her own. If she had not trusted people with everything that she had. If she had noticed things around her more properly.

Maia would still be here.

If she had taken care, this wouldn't have happened.

She felt frustrated. Frustrated at herself for being so naive.

She had to cool off. So moving into her room blindly, she moved to her closet, scavenged for her gym shorts. Changing into her gym wear, she rushed out. Lana walked up the stairs and down the corridor and opened the door of the room.

Lana had long abandoned this room, but nowadays it was usual for her to pop up in here wearing her sports bra and gym shorts, wanting to let go of things in her head for sometime.

She closed the door behind her and moved to the table at the far end of the room where her blue gloves were kept. Putting them on, she moved towards the punching bag in the centre. Her hands were itching to start punching but suddenly her mind registered a distant feeling.

She wanted to feel the pain, wanted to be exposed to it for some time.

So she slipped off her gloves and threw them on the floor and began punching the bag with full force, her legs shuffling around. And the voices came back again.

". . . . It's all your fault! All of this. . . . ."
Laine screams at her.

Punch.

". . . . . You took Maia away from me, you bitch! . . . ." Levi blames her.

Punch. Punch. Punch.

". . . . I came back. Not for this, no. . . ." Damien speaks.

Punch. Punch. Punch.

". . . . . Nothing. We found nothing. . . ." Kevin's voice echoes.

Punch. Punch. Punch. Punch.

". . . . . You! You let her in! . . . . " Nany speaks.

Punch. Punch.

". . . . . . She was my best friend. . . . . " Lizzie whispers softly.

Punch. Punch. Punch.

"Your fault!"

Punch.

"Your mistake!"

Punch.

"It's you!"

Punch.

"Always you!"

Punch.

"You are guil-" Suddenly two arms wrap around her bare waist and she was pulled back from the punching bag.

That is when Lana realises that she was sweating all over, her breath coming out ragged. She feels the sweat around her lips and brings up her hand to wipe it away and that's when she notices that her knuckles were bleeding too. But anyway, she opens her palm and wipes her lips.

And her hands come away covered in blood.

She realises.

It wasn't sweat. It was blood.

And it was still coming out of her mouth.

Cancer.

She hadn't taken her medicines since a week or more. Covering her mouth, she rushes to the gym washroom, not registering the person who had pulled her back.

She moves to the basin and coughs out more blood. Seeing so much of red made her feel slightly dizzy. Someone comes up behind her and holds her hair back as cough wretch through her body.

After it stops, Lana washes her face and turns around to see two hands, one holding a glass of water and other holding a medicine.

Lana's eyes slide up to the owner of the hands and she suddenly steps back, not taking the medicine.

Damien looks at her, storms raging in his eyes, anger taking over him for some reason.

Ignoring him, Lana moves out of the washroom. Even seeing Damien made her blood boil for some reason. He had been making it all diffiy for her all this time and then he suddenly pops up with her medicines.

Well, Lana didn't want them.

Reaching the punching bag again, Lana gets ready to throw another punch when her hands are pulled back, making her turn towards a raging Damien.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?!" He screams.

"Excuse me?" Lana exclaims.

"How many time do I have to tell you?!" Damien screams again.

"Tell me what exactly?! Huh?" Lana screams back.

"To take care! You don't go punching when you have a problem like that! Don't you get it?!" He screams, holding Lana's hand in a very painful grip.

"I can do whatever the hell I want! You are no one to correct me or tell me what to do!" Lana exclaims, trying to free herself from his grip.

"Oh! I have all rights to do that!" He screams in her face.

Now Lana gets furious. Freeing her hand from his grip, she moves far away from him, nearly to the wall.

"Well that's funny! Last time I checked , we weren't even talking!" She spat.

Damien turns around and away from her, breathing heavily in anger.

"I want you to take care of yourself, that's it!" He says frustrated. "I don't want to listen to what you have to say. I just want you to take care! So stop being difficult! And listen to what I say!" He screams.

Lana was beyond outraged now.

"YOU ARE NO ONE TO RULE MY LIFE! GET THAT?! NO ONE! YOU THINK I'D LISTEN TO YOU? WHATEVER YOU SAY, I'D DO? LISTEN TO YOUR DEMANDS AND FOLLOW THEM? COMMAND ME MY MASTER?" She screamed.

"WELL NEWS FLASH DAMIEN! I AM NOT YOURS TO COMMAND!"

Lana tries to calm herself down but it doesn't happen. She watches as Damien turns towards her ever so slightly.

"YOU AND YOUR INSECURITIES! WELL THEY CAN ROT IN HELL NOW! I CAN'T BEAR THEM NOW! BE THE WAY YOU WANT! SAY THE THINGS YOU WANT! I AM TIRED! TIRED OF TRYING TO COPE UP WITH YOUR MOOD SWINGS! I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I HAVE LOVED YOU WITH MY ALL! BUT I GUESS MY ALL IS NOT YOUR ENOUGH! I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WA-"

And suddenly Damien turns around and stalks towards Lana. In seconds, Lana is pinned to the wall and his lips are on hers.

It's not soft. It's rough, demanding and filled with anger and frustration. But they were eager for response. And Lana did the most unexpected thing ever.

She pushes him back and slaps him right across his face.

"Don't even touch me Damien Montez. Not untill you sort your self out." She seethed and then moved out, knowing that it was beyond them now. Beyond repair.

___________________________________

Okay, my favourite ship is sinking.

Love,
Mia.