The problem all began three months ago. He didn't want to be alone.
I didn't want to be alone.
The rest is history.
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Emmi Parths hates highschool. She isn't some social outcast, but growing up in a small town with idiotic rumo...
The answer is no. I can't take having to give him up after this. We have an agreement, we fake our breakup and move on from our fake relationship. This isn't supposed to be a personal matter.
I wanted to tell him that, too. I wanted to tell him I can't do something like this when I know it isn't good for me- when it isn't good for either of us. But something about how close he was made the words get stuck in my chest. All I can do is just not move.
Mason's nose brushed mine, our eyes completely closed, and suddenly the warmth of his lips consumed mine.
I'm not entirely sure how long the kiss lasted or what happened after we stopped, just that it came to an end and the result of it was just us sitting in silence.
An energy settled over us. Not quite awkward but still not yet comfortable. Mostly just anticipation. A question that I knew was going to hang over our heads.
A question to make this whole thing more complicated.
"I should really get home." I finally broke the silence and stood.
He nodded and stood with me. "Yeah, it's getting late. Need a ride?"
I shook my head 'no'. My house is a ways away from here, but out of total honesty, I'd rather the hike than the conversation that was sure to come up during the drive. Or even worse, it wouldn't come up at all. Both ways would leave a hole in my stomach and a dull ache in my chest.
"I think I'll walk. It's really nice out tonight and I think my Mom would be uncomfortable with a boy taking me home," I made a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood so it felt like us again.
It didn't work.
"Yeah, you're probably right. I'll see you around."
No plans, no further ideas for our situations, just a beat-up Mason giving some half-assed reassurance. I can't blame him. I wasn't trying much, either.
I gave a quick smile before I walked back to where his house was and pulled up Google Maps to show myself how to get home. I quickly typed in my address and checked the distance.
5 miles, walking time an hour and 37 minutes. Guess I should start walking. _______________________
Luckily, the walk was boring overall. The whole tiny town was quiet the entire way. No big man jumped out at me, no kid needed help finding their way home and no dogs came at me from over a small chain fence.
I got home at 12:23 AM. The night took up more time than expected. If we'd gone to the party, I'd probably be home later and mine and Mason's friendship might not be as strained at the moment, but now there's not much I can do about it so it's probably best for me to let it go.
The house was dark other than one lamp in the living room next to the couch. I moved down around the corner to see the living room to get a better view.
There Mom sat, silently reading in the dim lighting of the quiet house. I wondered how long she'd been there.
I quietly made my way across the floor towards the kitchen, avoiding her gaze. I could say it was because I was hungry due to the unfortunate Burger King incident, but in reality, I was scared to see her expression.
She didn't make the first move into a conversation. Dad always initiated a random topic for us all to get engaged in, but now he isn't here.
Now it was up to us.
The anxiety knotted my stomach. I don't know what to do with my hands. My thoughts landed on cooking.
"I'm thinking about making dinner, want anything?" I asked, feeling small suddenly, like I hadn't really been there until I tried to get her attention. It feels like I don't belong at the moment.
I grabbed the handle for the freezer and pulled it open, scanning over the options before gathering to courage to meet her eyes.
"Isn't it a bit late to cook dinner?" A bitterness hung at the ends of her words, her eyes glared through me, giving me no option but to feel exposed.
I suddenly realized I was still in Mason's clothes and she had definitely noticed.
"I guess it is," I meekly mumbled. I let the freezer door fall closed.
I'm still too hungry to go to bed, but cooking might start up a conversation I didn't have the energy to partake in. I carefully made my way to the pantry and grabbed a protein bar.
We sat in the silence, my piece more uncomfortable and timid, while hers bubbled with a harshness I'd never seen her with.
"I don't care what you do, just don't get knocked up," Mom spat out at me.
I looked at her with surprise. She sat with her legs curled beneath her, an empty expression on her face. She was staring at the book but I could tell she wasn't actually reading it anymore. She wanted to know my response too much.
I didn't give one. I threw away half of the protein bar and started making my way to my room, but I stopped for some reason and turned toward her.
"He left, but I stayed," I said gently, then turning and going to my room.
It's been too long of a day.
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I'm sorry for how long it's been for me to update and even more sorry for how short this chapter is!
Thank you guys for reading! It means so much to me and I appreciate you all so much. xoxo
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