All in my head?

Emo dreams

Ever have one those really scary really, graphic dreams where everything seems real, that was me tonight. 

I woke up in a hallway my shoes are off and my wrist is slit. I try to get up but fall in a pool of my own blood sinking down into the puddle. i drag myself out of it and dart down the hall into another room. Suprise to me that room has me lying in a bed and i see myself both from the bed and in my dream. A sense of dread overwhelmed me as i realize i'm in fact dreaming inside a dream, inside a dream. this has now turned into a struggle of me trying to wake up from an out of body experience in my own damn dream.

slam i hit my head on my the metal of bed in a panic. A tear rolls down my face in the dream and then i wake up. I look over and its 2: am i lay in bed in my own sweat trying to calm down a fall back asleep but to no avail. So i go on a walk at 4: am in the fucking rain to try and clear my head. it's freezing cold my teeth chatter as i stroll down the street but my anxiety is clearing.
" Okay really" i think as the rain starts to pick up again.

I end up walking for about another 10 mins before turning back.
Its still really fucken early, but do i care? "No!" Because i've got my headphones blaring Itsokaytocry full volume. I walk in the house straight passed my mom. Who's still sleeping and straigjt down stairs. I'm so dizzy and fatigue from both not having my concerta. An the fact that the Ativan is still wearing off.

After another 30 mins i decided to try and take a Concerta. I almost immediately can feel a difference and after about an hour can focus and i' m less slobbery.

I still decided to stay up on 3 hr of sleep just so i don' t have anymore emotional dreams.

i will update this chap more today!