I feel different now. I'm not sad and haven't really been the last few days. I slowly starting to stop cutting which i never really wanted or thought i could stop! "Am I happy" I ask myself? I feel good, people keep saying i seem like i'm doing better.
If really am feeling happy and this is not just another fucking manic episode, then great.
I just can't stop thinking about killing myself. That thought alone has made me smile. Still don't know if i want to grow old. I really honestly not mind die tonight. That way i'd die happy. If there is a god he'd finally grant me this wish.
"Hey your going to be okay"! I look around quickly realizing the voice was just in my head. I'm so used to only thinking about the negative that this shocks me. "Is it gonna be okay"? I felt so dumb posting about how i wanted to kill myself a few days ago. The response i got was unexpected. I thought everyone would think i was kidding.
My notifications started going off like crazy. With people who didn't even know telling me that they cared about me and not to kill myself.
I really hope i don't let you down. Infact i'm gonna fight. I'm going to do whatever it takes to feel happy.
YOU ARE READING
All in my head?
No FicciónWhy fight this pain, when everyday it only becomes easier to go? This is sort of a diary it will become more of a story as the chapters continue. May have mentions of suicide. Might have graphic images, if that bothers you don't read this, check out...
