I can't fucking sleep once again. God knows I've tried, my damn mind is filled with to my thoughts. They all come down to one thing my will to live. I just don't want to anymore I just want to be free from all this, my bipolar, my anxiety, my fake fucking smile. "I just want some peace and there is peace in death right"? I Honestly don't know anymore. My life feels like a trap. I'm tired of faking happiness every day, I don't want this pain anymore. I just can't give up either to many people would never forgive me. If where up to me I'd slit my wrist deeper than I ever have. So that I can feel the blood pump out of my veins. I want A good life for myself, I want a boyfriend, I want to go to pride parades, I want to sleep well a night next to someone I love. All these things can never happen if I can't fix myself first. Too many nights I've spent wishing I was dead only to awake feeling like shit. If there was a pill I'd take it I just want to sleep. Maybe tomorrow but right now I guess I'll just eat my breakfast and try my best to get through work without having a nervous breakdown. its gonna be along the day, they tell me to keep my head up yeah it's not so easy. When your mind is plagued with suicidal thoughts every day it starts eating away at you. I'm at the point where even though I can't sleep I still just want to lay in bed all damn day. Solitude feels nice, its less of chance for me to ruin another person day. Well, that's pretty much it see you in the next chapter I hope.
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All in my head?
SachbücherWhy fight this pain, when everyday it only becomes easier to go? This is sort of a diary it will become more of a story as the chapters continue. May have mentions of suicide. Might have graphic images, if that bothers you don't read this, check out...