I'm tired of this cycle wake up think I'm okay but realize nothing makes me smile. So most the day is spent just cutting or trying to stay high. Now once again I just sit here tracing my scars with my fingers thinking about each slit. God how I wish I was a normal person, living a life with this anxiety is a life I want to end. Now I'm wondering why any loves me if hate myself. God I hate myself, "why can't you hit up that guy that wanted to date you ask myself? tears now running down my face. Now I'm turning back to the bowl in front of inhaling the fumes deep in my longs trying to feel less with every breath. I feel my demons fighting any good thoughts that might enter my mind. "Maybe i'm hear to help people like me"- another thought destroys any satisfaction I could have gotten. "Fuck no how the hell can you help anyone your worthless", a voice says. "Maybe I am worthless but I have to try right"? Now you want to try, make up fucking mind. last night you tried slit wrist hoping to end it all" another voice yells at me. now another tear falls down my face or so I thought but I can't find it. "Look you your so pathetic you can't even control your own emotions". I couldn't really focus on what that voice was saying cause I felt something drip down my arm. I realize I'm bleeding, I forgot about the knife in my hand to numb to feel a thing.
YOU ARE READING
All in my head?
SaggisticaWhy fight this pain, when everyday it only becomes easier to go? This is sort of a diary it will become more of a story as the chapters continue. May have mentions of suicide. Might have graphic images, if that bothers you don't read this, check out...
