Mechanical Heart

Chapter 7 (Edited)

I sat outside the 7-eleven, trying to take deep breaths to calm myself down. I looked up at the dark sky, it was all covered in the mustered up smoke from all the industrial work that has been increasing within this vicinity. The sky looked dead without a single star to brighten up the bleakness of the entire thing, to help it breathe a little. I closed my eyes, now my sight mimicking the dark sky, and slowly weird thoughts creeped into my head. 

What did it mean to be dead? When your heart stopped beating? That doesn't sound so bad, not entirely bad especially not in this specific moment. Is it possible to be dead while breathing? Those still colourless eyes and those pale worn out lips staring back at you could easily be something that was not alive but just made to be alive. Air still made its way through the lips, the figure still walked and talked, but every time she walked it was clear that there was this huge part that was missing, as if her human part died, it was all mechanical now, the limbs being orchestrated to move. A mechanical heart, that was created to beat and beat even if the person was already dead. 

"Hey, you ready?" I was immediately pulled out from my thoughts. I looked up and saw Xavier smiling down at me. 

Xavier had emerged from 7-eleven with one packet of whole wheat bread, as requested by mommy dearest. He grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet, and I giggled as the space between us was immediately cut short. I could feel his breath on my neck and boy did it feel good. He leaned down and pecked my neck and for a moment, just a moment everything felt like it was going to be alright after all.

 We walked for about half an hour, we walked silently. Both lost in thought, but our hands intact, side by side, even though we traveled to our thoughts separately, we were still by each other. Our feet came to a harsh stop, pushing our bodies forward in sync, halting in front of . I looked up at my house, the marble covered five story house. Flowers neatly circled around the house. It looked absolutely gorgeous, but to me the experiences made it horrifying, no one really did know what actually went on behind the curtain covered house. It didn't feel like home, never did. I took out my keys, but I heard the door click and it was pulled open before I even had the chance to pull out my keys.

"Well, 6:58. Not bad, come in, come in. I see you've bought Xavier. I thought 'family' dinners meant something. Apparently not, nevertheless do come in." My mother flashed her pearly white teeth at us.

"Thank you ma." I pasted a smile on my face trying not to wince so prominently for her to figure it out.

"Good evening Misses Cathob." Xavier gestured politely.

"Xavier." My mom stated, her eyes not leaving mine.

Xavier and I quickly shuffled in the house and placed ourselves on the long glass dinning table that was decorated lucratively. I looked down at my feet, I always felt indefinitely out of place here. Aesthetically perfect and I stood out like the black sheep of the family. Footsteps echoed throughout the halls and immediately my head perked up. Dad. My dad emerged from the echoes, he gripped a newspaper in an arm and his IPad in the other, probably looking at the stock market, he never did seem to change after all these years, same old routine with same old habits. Xavier and I stood briefly around the dinner table politely greeting one another and then placed ourselves back down in our assigned seats.

"So, Xavier, how's school?" My dad questioned barely lifting his head from the iPad's screen.

"It's uh eventful, sir. I made the honors board and I scored the highest in my SATs. Well highest in my class that is sir." Xavier spoke with a mouthful of bread.

"Ah, I'm sure your parents must be very proud. What do you want as your future career?" Dad said finally looking straight at Xavier.

"Well I am an IT major, so I'd preferably like to be a computer engineer, software or hardware haven't made up my mind on that bit yet, sir."

"But it's all good, ma boy. An engineer you say? Not bad, not bad at all. What about you? Young lady?" My dads eyes narrowed at me.

"Well after several choices, I've finally made up my mind dad." I gulped.

"Enlighten me." He snorted looking back down at his iPad.

"Well, it's a writer, dad. Now before you say anything dad. You have to see my work, I'm really good and I've already been acknowledged by several people dad. I've won several competitions and my online stories have ratings that are off the hook. And people do make it with this career as the path you know, I mean look at J.K Rowling, Jeff Lindsay, Christopher Pike. I mean it takes time and effort but so does any other career. A little unstable in comparison but its a future nevertheless." I stuttered nervously.

"A writer you say?"

"She is really good, sir." Xavier pitched in sensing the tension that was growing in the room.

"After all these years. We spent all of our precious money on your top of the line education and you want to be a writer? Tell me you're joking." My dad said, glaring at me. 

"But dad, it's what I'm passionate about. It's what I enjoy. And that passion will translate into success indefinitely, you were the one who told me that."

"You are being ridiculously stupid. Do you hear yourself? A writer?! You useless child! What a waste of space. Throwing all the money we spent on you in the suers! You ungrateful little brat. And what? Passion translates into success you say, I was referring to jobs that were respected and could actually ensure you a future. This does not apply to your make believe version of success" He spat.

"But dad--" tears welled up in my eyes.

"I'm ashamed to be your father!" My father raised his voice.

"Enough. No yelling on the dinner table." My mom snapped.

"Please may I be excused."

I didn't wait for a response. I just got up from my seat and ran up. But I didn't leave the scene. I tried to stop my tears but they just flowed. I stifled my cries, I covered my mouth with my left hand, and my body shook with sorrow. But from the corner I heard Xavier's voice.

"She is really good, sir. Have you ever taken the time to read her writing?" Xavier asked politely.

"You approve of this? You're going to be an engineer! How do you put up with that girl."

I heard a slam, a pair of hands harshly contacted the glass table. The chair screeched back, I peeked through trying to understand what the situation had come to be.

"The girl is my girlfriend and your daughter, she has a name too but you should know since you named her. As for her being a writer, there isn't a single thing wrong with that. She is one of the most talented writer I have ever met and I've met quiet a few. Now if you were a responsible father you'd actually take the time to read her fucking work. What is up with you? She is your daughter for fucks sake, let her be freaking happy! And you know what she will succeed because she already has, she has already accomplished so much but you wouldn't know that because you've never taken the time to try and even understand her and what she is actually capable off."

Xavier left the dinning table, walked up the stairs and pulled me down. My teary eyed figure was now fully visible to my parents. I avoided eye contact with my dad and kept looking straight ahead at the door. Xavier grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the house. We just kept walking and walking.

"You're staying at mine." Xavier stated frustratedly.

"Hey Xavi."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

I smiled through my tears. He shook his head and smiled at me softly patting my head.

"What's there to thank me for, I didn't do anything. You're gonna do great things babe, don't let anyone tell you otherwise okay?"

I stared at him, this was the man I truly did love.

"Okay" I whispered.