Not Good Enough For Truth In Cliche

Back To The Time, 2005, I Almost Died

Trigger warning: suicide/self harm

"Hey, doll." Max grinned and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Doll?" I raised my eyebrows.
"Yeah. Like it?"
"I like it, I just don't know if I like it coming from you."
"Hmph."
"I'm still mad you sent me to that therapy session." I was exhausted. I was starting to get sick from tour.
"You need it."
"No."
"Yeah, you do."
"Nope." I spun around and kissed him. His hands instinctively slid down to my ass. Good. "I don't wanna go."
"You gotta."
I hooked my legs around his waist so he was supporting me. I could feel the bulge in his pants and held back my laughter. "Please? I don't wanna."
"It's good for you."
"No." I slid his shirt over his head and moved my hips against his. "I'm not."
He groaned against my mouth. "Oh, God, Ash. As much as you... Ohh... You're still going."
"Aw, why?"
Max got my shirt off and fell on the couch, pulling me on top of him. "Cause... You gotta."
I smirked and unbuckled his pants and pulled down his underwear. "How about no?" I took him into my mouth.
"God, fuck, Ash... You're... Goddamnit... You're still going."
"No." I mumbled, pulling my lips up off of his cock.
Max expertly flipped me over and was now on top of me. He kissed in between my cleavage and smiled. "You're going."
"You can't make me."
"I can't make you?" He asked, sitting on my hips. God, all his weight was resting on my pelvis, and goddamn, it was turning me on even more. "I can't make you?"
"No."
He pulled my jeans and underwear down to my ankles and spread my knees. "Oh. Really?"
"Really."
Max became a dominant. Well, he was dominant in his daily life, but now, in bed (or the couch) goddamn. He was good. He effortlessly slipped into me, lubricated by my saliva. I moaned and he smirked. "Really?"
"Re... Really." I gasped in between moans.
He kept hitting into me at a steady rate. "You're still going." He muttered, going faster.
"I'm... I'm close."
"Hold on."
"Max-"
"I said, hold on." He growled, still going into me. His thrusts were getting sloppier and I could tell he's close.
"I can't..."
"Go."
We came at the same time. I let out a soft moan as we finished. "Goddamn."
"You're still going." Max pushed hair out of my face.
"Ugh, why?"
"It's good for you."
"No, it's fucking not." I pulled his hair back into a ponytail. It was falling into my face and I couldn't see.
"Can we discuss this when the band isn't gonna be back any minute?"
"Fine." I pulled my underwear and pants back on.
Max sighed and threw his clothes back on. "Kay."
"Kay?"
"Yep."
I pulled my shirt over my head. As soon as we fixed our hair, the band came back in. "Hey, guys." Omar said.
"Hi." Max replied.
"You guys fucked." Monte sang.
"Yeah, we're dating. Grow up."
"Okay, whatever."
I got up, grabbed my phone, and went to the bathroom. I had been feeling like hell all day, but now... I dialed Ronnie's number. "Ronnie."
"What's wrong?" He knew my voice, he knew something was wrong.
"I can't do this." I heard the band leaving again, probably to get drinks. It was after a concert, anyways.
"What?"
"Being clean. Life."
"So you're getting sick."
"Yeah." My hand was against the wall, supporting me. "I just used all my energy on Max."
"Oh."
"I can't... I've got codeine, and... Pills."
"Don't you dare."
"I can't do this anymore."
"Get Max in there, talk to him, you're not alone, are you?"
"The band's getting drinks." I whispered. My hand slid down and I fell onto the floor.
"You can't, no."
"You know I can't do this much longer. We've known that."
"I don't give a damn that you fucking said it when we were sixteen-"
"I was sixteen. I've held out this long. I can't do it any more."
"Fine. You can't do it, though."
"Ronnie, I can't do this anymore." I found Max's razor and broke it. I dragged it across my skin a few times.
"Ash, honey, you can do it, please. Stay."
"Ronnie, I love you, but I can't. I'm so sorry." I set the phone on the counter and turned it to speakerphone. "I can't."
"No. Please. I need you."
His words barely registered in my brain as I opened the pill bottle. Hands shaking, I swallowed a few codeine pills dry. "Ash!"
"I'm sorry." I whispered, tossing my head back with more pills in my hand. I finished the codeine, now I was on God-knows-what.
"No. Ash, honey, please stay, love, we need you, I need you, Max needs you. Anthony needs you."
"I'm gonna go see Dad."
"No, you're fucking not."
"Ronnie, let me go." Tears dropped down my cheeks. I had taken about thirty pills by now, and my shaking hands caused pills to fall onto the floor.
"Were those pills? Ash!"
"Don't do this to me."
"Don't do this to me!" Ronnie protested.
I ended the call and threw my phone against the wall. Tiny pieces of it fell down around me. Black spots covered my vision, but I knew I didn't take enough pills. Fumbling, I scooped some up off of the floor and swallowed them. Somehow, I fell back, hitting my head against the wall, and everything went dark.

Max POV

"She's probably sleeping, trying to prevent getting sick." I said, opening the door to the bus.
"Fair." Craig replied.
I looked over at the couch, she wasn't there. "Prolly in the bunks."
"Yeah, or..." Monte trailed off, and I heard him whisper a soft "fuck".
"What?" I asked, walking over to him.
"That..."
My heard lept into my throat. Ash was laying on the floor of the bathroom. Her black hair was spread out and she was paler then normal. Pills and pieces of plastic and metal were on the floor surrounding her. I fell onto my knees. "Ash, baby."
Someone was calling 911. Monte sighed. "Fuck."
"Does she have a heartbeat?" I asked out loud. I felt for it. No. "Fuck, baby, no, you can't have died on me. Ash, love, no."
"Check her arm." Monte said.
I didn't realize it. She was bleeding. She cut herself. "Ash! Baby, no, no."
People came in. EMTs. They rushed in with a stretcher, causing a commotion, and before I knew it, Ash was ripped from my arms. Craig stared at us. "Holy shit."
"Y-You know Cellar Door?" I whispered.
"Yeah." Monte said quietly.
"Your veins run dry, your vacant eyes. I've lost control, your face is pale, your body's cold."
"No." Robert pulled me up.
"I... I have to go."
"Me too." Craig said.
"Don't you fucking dare." I growled. "Stay here."
"You're not the only one that cares about her, you know!"
"Well, you're gonna reprimand her, and shit, so stay here."
"You can't tell me what to do."
I pushed him against the wall. "Listen, my fucking girlfriend is in the hospital because she attempted suicide. Now, I don't know if she's dead or alive, but I'd much rather be at the damned hospital right now instead of dealing with your sorry ass, Craig. You were abusive. I don't want you near her right now. Stay. Here." I released him.
"Fuck off, Max."
Ignoring him, I rushed off to the hospital to be with Ash.