The Blood On My Hands Is Something I Cannot Forget

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"Max, damn, it's three in the morning. Get your shit together and get your ass to bed." I shook him. He didn't wake. I sighed, collected the beer cans, and tossed them into the garbage. I stayed sober tonight. Dunno why, but I did. "Max, come on." Again, he didn't wake up. "Yo, anyone know how much Max took?"
"I dunno, seven, eight lines? Max doles out huge ass lines for himself."
"Like, how much?"
Monte walked out, sober also. "Third of a gram?"
"How much is that?"
"About two and a half grams? Why?"
"How high's his tolerance?" I asked, shaking Max.
"Semi."
"Max, wake up!"
Monte realized. "He could've overdosed-"
"Yeah, I know. Max! Wake the fuck up!"
Nothing.
"Max, come on! Max, please! Wake the fuck up!"
"I think we gotta do it-"
"We can't. They'll throw him in rehab and if they drug test me, I'm out of here too. Might just take Omar and Robert and find they're high, too."
"He could be dying."
I looked between the sober, logical Monte and the unconscious, high Max. "Help me carry him. We can't call 911."
"I know." Monte lifted Max up all by himself.
"You want help?"
"No. I've been lifting weights since before Ronnie left. Always thought one of them would do this. Here we are."
"Come on. We gotta go."
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I was the only one there when Max woke up. "Hey, Ash." He whispered.
I took his hand. "Hey."
"The hell happened?"
"You overdosed on coke, bad. You were gonna die."
Max flinched away. "You're kidding me."
"No."
"Am-"
"They're sending you to rehab."
"No, they can't, I..."
"Max, you took two and a half grams."
"I did?"
"Yeah."
"They can't send me to rehab, ETF needs me, and..."
I sighed. "I can try something. You're not gonna like it. But it's either that or rehab, so..."
"What?"
"I can sleep with someone, get you out of here."
"Ash, no!"
"It's either that or rehab. Make your choice."
"I don't want you to sleep with someone to get me out of here."
"Rehab?"
Max bit his lip. "No."
I kissed his forehead. "I'll be okay, Max. I can handle myself. You, though, need to slow the fuck down on the drugs."
"Thanks." He whispered.
"Yeah."
"Stay with me? For a little bit?"
"Okay."
"How'd you know?"
"I tried waking you up to go to bed, but you wouldn't wake up. Monte did the math of how much you put in a line, and how many lines you took."
"Oh. Does Craig know?"
"No. Not yet."
"Okay."
I looked around. "I got something to show you."
"What is it?"
"I have a tattoo."
"Since when?"
"Couple months."
"Where? How have I not seen it?"
"It's on my thigh."
"You never wear shorts."
"Exactly."
"Can I see?"
I laughed and pulled down the side of my pants. "See?"
"Dang, it's a badass knife."
"I know." I pulled my pants back up.
"How did I not know?"
"I didn't tell anyone. Craig's the only one that knows."
"Not even Ronnie?"
"Nope."
Max laughed. "You're full of surprises."
"I know. I should probably go?"
"Yeah, you should."
"Bye, Max."
"Bye, Ash."

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