Not Good Enough For Truth In Cliche

I Overdosed

As I opened my eyes, Ronnie and Max stared at me. "Baby." Max whispered.
Ronnie sighed and took my hand in his. "As soon as Monte called me, I rushed to the hospital. It... Fuck, I was so scared. No one knew anything, and I felt responsible. And... When I got here, Max just sang the lines of Celler Door, and... God, we were both so scared."
"You're okay." Max breathed, breaking down. He went out into the hall.
"You've... You've heard my band's album, yeah? Tragic Magic?"
"Yeah." I muttered.
"Back to the time, 2005, I almost died. I overdosed..."
"You don't gotta do that."
"Why?"
"I told you. I can't do it anymore. And I can't fucking believe I failed it. Goddamnit."
"Don't." He said quietly. "Stop. This... This is why he sent you to therapy, to prevent something like this."
"I don't give a fuck."
"I told Dad."
I sat up and felt a sharp pain as an IV was yanked from my arm. "You what?"
"I told Dad what you did. And Anthony."
"You motherfucker."
"I had to."
"You didn't!" I yelled. "You could've just fucking let me die and let me be, I didn't want to live, I wanted do die! You gotta understand that, Ronnie, please."
"I do. I understand."
"Then you would've let me be!" I threw my hands out to get up from the bed.
"No."
I yelped as he pinned my wrists down. "Ronnie!"
"You're staying here." He said calmly, sitting on top of me. "I knew they should've used the restraints."
"Get off of me!" I thrashed around. "Goddamnit, Ronnie!"
"Calm down."
"Get the fuck off of me! Max!"
"Max knew I was doing this. He's not helping."
"Please!" I glanced over at the table and saw pills that, obviously, Max and Ronnie were supposed to regulate. Probably antidepressants.
Ronnie noticed where I was looking. "Ash, no."
"Get off!" I managed to get his hand off of one of my wrists and reached over for the pills.
He grabbed my wrist again and pinned it against the bed. "This'll be better if you don't fight."
"Ronnie." I started crying, sobbing. I was shaking. I didn't fight him anymore.
After a few minutes, he let go of my wrists, but remained sitting on me. His thumb gently wiped away my tears. "Ash, honey."
All I could focus on was his tattooed hands on my cheeks. "Ronnie, please." I gasped. "Please just let me die."
He shook his head sadly. "Can't do that. I promised Dad."
"Please. I can't take it anymore. I just can't."
"I know, but we're gonna give you medicine that will make it so you can, okay?"
"No. Ronnie, I wanna die."
"I won't let you do that." He looked down at me, hands still on my cheeks. His thumb was resting on my lips. "I can't. I can't lose you. You're my best friend."
I closed my eyes and refused to speak. I can't. I can't continue on, it's too hard. All of a sudden, Ronnie got off of me. "She's... It's bad."
Someone else sat on the bed next to me. "Hey, babe." Max whispered. "I love you." He gently pressed his lips to my forehead.
I opened my eyes. "Max, please just let me die."
"I can't. I don't want to lose you. You're too important, babe. I can't just let you go."
"Max, you're making this harder."
"I know I am. I'm making it so you won't do it. I love you, I'm not letting you go that easily." His finger traced the cuts on my arm. "I can't lose you."
"Max, if you love me, please. Let me go."
"Never."
"Please." I whispered.
"I love you. So much. And I can't even think about what would happen if I lose you, because it makes me so sad. You're the light of my life. I can't lose you."
"Hey, look who's here." Ronnie said.
"Dad... Anthony." I looked over at them. "What?"
"Ronnie called me." Dad said.
"Fuck."
"Language." He warned.
"Hey, Ash." Anthony looked at me. "How're you feeling?"
"Like shit."
"Yeah. That's fair. I mean, you're in the hospital. It's hell here."
"Yeah, it is." He was the only one sympathizing with me, the only one not telling me to not die.
"Ronnie was scared shitless. He was crying into the phone, and... He said it was his fault. I didn't understand until he calmed down. When he told me he was on the call with you, and then you ended it. He said he just started driving out here. Middle of the night."
"Well, he didn't have to." I muttered.
"No, but he did."
"Actually, you two? Can we talk?" Ronnie asked, pulling his dad and Anthony outside the room.
Max looked at me. "Craig wanted to come."
"Did he?"
"No. I threatened him." Max laughed softly. "Pushed him against the wall, everything."
"Wow."
He looked at the hanging IV. "Maybe we should get that back in before the nurses yell at you."
"You can't stab me."
"I have good practice finding a vein."
I sighed, closed my eyes, and held my arm out. Max took it, rubbed a circle in my arm and then inserted the IV into my vein. It barely hurt. I've grown accustomed to the pain, due to my use of drugs. I knew he'd be able to do it. "It's okay." I muttered. "You did it fine."
"I'm sorry." He stroked my hair. "Baby, I was so scared. Monte saw you first, and I went over, and I collapsed onto my knees and just felt for a heartbeat. There wasn't one. Someone was calling 911, I think it was Robert. And then they came, took you away. And all I could think of was Cellar Door."
"Your veins run dry, your vacant eyes. I've lost control, your face is pale, your body's cold."
"Yeah."
"Was I? All that?"
He sighed. "You had bled a shit ton from the cuts. You had to get a transfusion, so, yeah. Your eyes were closed, so I don't know. You were paler then normal and you were starting to get cold. Fuck. I thought I lost you."
"Yeah, well."
"I'm so glad I didn't." Max kissed my forehead. "I don't know what I would've done if you died."
"Had a funeral."
"That's not fucking funny."
"Not supposed to be."
"Yeah, well." He looked at me. "I'm staying at your place for a while."
"What about tour? And Ronnie?"
"I'm finishing tour. Ronnie is gonna be staying at the apartment anyways, and once tour ends, I'll just be there too. It's a precaution, Ash."
"I was clean. From cocaine, for so long."
"Aren't you still?"
I shook my head and looked at the floor. "There was cocaine mixed into some of those tablets."
Max wordlessly embraced me. "I love you."
"I know."
"I know you know." He said, tears streaming down his face. "I know."