Let My Life Be A Lesson

Lumberjack...

Braxton, someone I wished I could forget. I met him in health during freshman year. His brown curly hair is what first caught my attention. First day of school when I saw him, I knew I needed to know his name. I found out but couldn't figure his last name for a long time. My teacher let his last name slip one day and then I found his instagram. We began talking and we actually became really close. I know that he knew that I liked him, honestly he led me on for a really long time. That was probably the worst part.

I always felt like that I could talk to him about anything. Although he was very closed off. We constantly flirted with each other. I told him that I liked him one day and he denied me and then told me he had a girlfriend. He never told me that he did and I think that was the worst part. He was flirting and leading a girl on while he had a girlfriend. But even after that I continued to talk to him until one late night he told me he wasn't with his girlfriend anymore and that he liked someone else. He was describing me. Yes, we started dating...

Braxton was always very needy and always felt the need to try and make out in the hall. Frankly I've never liked that attention on me. I didn't care if we did it in private but not in front of people. It took forever before I let him come over to my house, it got to the point where he was getting mad about it. But soon we ruined that, he left hugeeeee hickies on my neck. There was no covering it up with makeup or even clothing. My dad found out and despised Braxton for it. He despised me for it. I hated knowing my dad felt that way.

He's the type of guy who thinks he's really cool and amazing. He thinks he's badass while he has his ear buds in. Braxton always had that look on his face, the one were he thinks he's cool and badass but no one else thought that. I'm not trying to be cruel but I'm just being truthful.

I never really told him but I could never learn to be happy with him. I hated feeling like I couldn't be myself, that I had to keep secrets from him and make up lies. I hated that. I hated the fact that I said yes to dating him. I hated the fact that my father hated him with the burning passion. I hated how Braxton had no boundaries and didn't believe in personal space. I knew that I wasn't happy and so I decided I needed to break free. I was going to wait until after the school dance. But on valentines day he kept pushing and pushing. I blew up and broke up with him, over text and yes on valentines day. We made it to three months. The only reason I bring this relationship up is because he has a puzzle piece to my life.

My stepmom thought he was everything a girl could have. But I never loved him, he wasn't the guy I thought he was. I didn't learn that until dark. He made me depressed. I don't regret breaking free. I never have...I couldn't love a guy that I didn't like or feel comfortable to be around...He wasn't a good boyfriend frankly. He was forgetful, I got him a ring for Christmas and he got me nothing. That was the only time my stepmom was mad at him. But after we broke up, he got mad at me and he smashed it with a hammer...He wasn't the guy I first had a crush on. I can't act to innocent either, I through his five dollar bracelet into a river, along with a picture, a journal, and a necklace...I hoped he learned from his mistakes and I hope he's better at caring for people and being there for them. Not putting pressure.

*Reason for nickname*

Braxton: He loved that name, I'm not sure if he still does or not (If you're reading this. You should know that you need to know your friends a bit before trusting them)