Let My Life Be A Lesson

Alexis & Braxton~Rant

I know that my life isn't the American dream and that a lot of shit has happened through my sixteen years on this planet. Even with this mess of a life that I call mine, I would never trade it. I wouldn't be able to even if I had the opportunity. I would be so different if my mother was still. Granted, our family would also be poor as hell. As there are plenty of negatives to my life, there are positives. I wouldn't be who I am without this life and all the negatives that came with. There are a lot of things that I am sorry for but I will probably never apoligize for half of it. 

Alexis and Braxton, theres a mess. With all the shit that all of us went through freshman year. I thought I would always have them but I was wrong. Somedays I wish I still had them but we all separated for reasons. I had to much anger with them, the fact that they couldn't see how many bullets I took for them always through me off the edge. The fact that they couldn't see what I did for them always blew my mind. The reason I wouldn't leave them alone with Cody. I got sexually harrassed even more, I took that bullet for them so he wouldn't end up touching Alexis. Hoping that Cody wouldn't snap at Braxton and punch him in the face. The good didn't outweigh the bad. They wouldn't listen when I told them to stay away from Cody. They both knew what he did and what he was doing to me at the time. Yet they both had the dying urge to get him to be their friend. Alexis and Braxton both ended up hurt, look who was right. That was my snapping moment, I always said it was because they were dating but that wasn't the real reason. I'm glad they are dating because it got Braxton off my back. The true reason was that they refused to understand what I was doing for them behind the scenes. 

I care for them deeply, if they needed it, I would be there in a heart beat. I know that we don't talk much anymore but I will always have a soft spot for them. Although I know it doesn't seem like it after harsh words from my behalf were said. I don't regret everything I said, but I regret some of it. 

I think the day that disapointed me the most with Braxton, Alexis, and my friend Bryce, is when we all walked to lunch including Cody. Then they left me alone with Cody. They all heard me tell Cody no, they all looked back but they all kept walking. Even after they saw him push me to a wall and hold me there. When I made it to the stairs, they were there, they all saw when Cody ran up the stairs and smacked my ass. Yet my so called "Friends" said nothing.