Stay (Topp Dogg) {Published on Amazon}

Part 2

Tuesday

You will be okay Hyein. Everything will be fine. You will not cry in front of these people. You will not.

I was having a mental conversation with myself as I walked towards the dance studio behind Kidoh. I don't think he noticed my violent twitching yet, which is always good.

Xero was already in the studio, warming up. He waved to me then stopped midway. Shit, he noticed, I thought to myself. Then Xero looked back towards the mirror and left me alone.

I sighed and took my jacket off. I threw it on the pile of unused mats. Then I made my way over to the laid out mats and started my self warmup.

A few minutes later, Kidoh began the group warmup. The two boys kept looking at me through the corner of their eyes, which made me nervous. That's when my tongue started to click uncontrollably.

I couldn't handle the news I received this morning and their stares at the same time. Turns out my nerves couldn't either, literally.

I reverted my eyes away from the mirrors. I tried to keep my focus on Kidoh, but it didn't work. Just like my medication. I took it this morning, I actually took more than I was supposed to. I know that's dangerous, but I did it in fear of having an episode around the boys.

I started to sniff through my nose rapidly as well. My eye would blink, I would click my tongue, and then I would sniff. It continued in that pattern.

I had to stop doing the warmup with Kidoh and Xero. I just couldn't take it anymore. It was too much going on at once, so I fell on my butt and stayed there, trying to get control over myself.

I felt the stares from the boys. It was embarrassing knowing that they were staring at me, that I was stopping the hour long class because of my own mental breakdown.

I had a feeling in my gut it would happen. I knew what was going to happen next to.

They both stopped warming up and made their way towards me on the mat. The two sat in front of me. I closed my eyes tight. I didn't want to see the expressions on their faces, it would be too embarrassing. It would be too much for someone like me. I can stand the laughing and being made fun of, but the worried look I get from my parents and family kill me.

I couldn't anticipate what happened next though. I originally thought they would call my mother, but that's not what happened.

I started to cry. I cried for more than one thing. There was a lot to cry about.

Then, someone reached out to me and held my hand. "Hyein?" It was Kidoh. He was the one holding my hand.

His thumb rubbed against the back of my hand. "Hyein, you need to calm down," he said calmly. I strained to hear his voice. It sounded so peaceful. I wanted to be peaceful like him.

Then I felt his hands on my face. They were soft and placed on both of my cheeks. "Hyein, it's okay. You need to calm down." I let his voice sink into my ears. I stopped clicking my tongue and I sniffed less rapidly. I didn't want to open my eyes yet though. There was a feeling in my gut that told me I didn't want to.

"Hyein, calm, you're okay." Kidoh said one last time with success. I stopped sniffing and opened my eyes. Tears were still spewing out of my eyes, but that's okay. I knew it was because Kidoh made me feel as if it was okay.

He wiped the tears off my face and brought me in for a hug. It felt good, to be hugged by somebody from outside of the family. I accepted him gratefully, happy he was there to console me.

"Thank you," I whispered into his ear. He let go of me. "What's going on, Hyein?" Kidoh asked me.

I took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "This morning, my mother told me that my older sisters house caught fire last night. One of her twins died and her husband." Kidoh's eyes went wide as another tear fell down my face.

I looked around the studio for Xero, but couldn't find him. "Where's Xero?" I asked Kidoh. He shrugged his shoulders. "Who cares?" I didn't know how to answer to that.

I thought of my nephew again and felt the urge to cry once more. Another tear dropped from my eye. Kidoh grasped my hand once more. "Hyein, don't cry. I promise I'll make it seem like this tragedy never happened. It's all going to be okay." I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. I felt weird, especially since I just met him yesterday.

I looked at the ground and pulled my hand away from him. It just felt too weird. I couldn't sit there anymore. So I stood up and looked at the clock. It was seven a.m already.

I picked up my jacket and made my way to the exit. "Hey, Hyein," Kidoh called out to me. I turned around and looked at him. "Just remember that when you smile, the sun shines." I rushed out of the studio quickly. I felt too nauseous to say goodbye.

*****

A.N

An update! Finally! I'm sorry I've been busy with school, it's getting a lot more difficult this year.

Have you guys heard Kidoh's solo, Taxi on The Phone? I don't know what to think of it. I can't tell if I like it or not. What about you guys?

I'm going to update whenever I can. Please feel free to comment whatever you want. If you have a request or something or want something to happen, I want to know about it!

Thank you for reading! 🇰🇷