Linda knocked on the front door of her mother's house and had no response, worried she tapped in her private access code and the door unlocked. She pushed it open and made sure it closed securely behind her. She wandered through the house peering into each room and still seeing no sign of her Mama. She got to the sitting room and saw two glasses and two empty bottles of some really good red wine. She frowned confused. She called out for Agnetha but still no response. She looked in the kitchen, no sign of breakfast. Linda looked at her watch, it was 8am. She knew that Anna's days of sleeping in late were unfortunately long past. Since her illness insomnia had plagued her more and ordinarily now she was up early. Agnetha refused all company when she was awake in the night, Linda only knew because when she looked over to her mother's house in the night lights were on in the lounge or the conservatory. Agnetha said they had busy enough days without them being awake all night as well and she was quite happy pottering around. Sometimes Linda could hear music, other times she could see Anna curled up in the rocking chair looking at photos or reading. Agnetha had tried all sorts of solutions to her lack of sleep, tablets, meditation, hypnotherapy and nothing had worked. In the end Agnetha had embraced it and accepted it as part of her now. Linda jogged up to the bedroom and pushed open the door, the sight she saw before her melted her heart and bought grateful tears to her eyes.
There under the covers facing her was her Aunt Frida snoring a little, blonde hair all tousled and in her arms was Mama tucked safely in and miracle of miracles sleeping deeply and peacefully. She grinned and wiped her tears away and softly shut the door again as she left. She stepped quietly back down the stairs and put a pot of tea on to be ready for when they woke and wrote them a little note she was just leaving when she thought to turn the house phone to silent. If anyone wanted Mama they could wait or call her. Clearly Frida had taken some sort of emergency flight and must be tired and Linda genuinely couldn't remember the last time her mother had slept deeply and she didn't want either of them disturbed. She left the house and made sure to shut the front door quietly, resetting the code carefully and ensuring all was secure.
Linda went back to her own house and grabbing herself a cup of coffee she took the time to call Christian before she had to take the kids to school. Everyone was busy with their last minute chores so she had a few moments.
Christian answered quite quickly "Morning Linda all ok?" Linda hastened to reassure him. "It's all good Christian, all is well. Mama is well. Wonder of wonders she is currently sleeping!" She smiled at Christian's pleasure at her news. "Wow, what happened??" he asked "Aunty Frida happened" giggled Linda " I went over this morning to check on her as usual and I couldn't find her. What I found was 2 empty bottles of wine and Aunty Frida curled up in Mama's bed with Mama in her arms, both snoring their heads off!" Christian was delighted. "Did you know Aunty Frida was coming? We haven't seen her since last year's event" he asked. " No, well not until late yesterday, I tackled Mama about Papa's project and telling people about her illness. It didn't go well" Christian sighed "Linda, we must respect her wishes. She's always been private. Like me. I can't bear people nosing about in my life. Everything she does or says is scrutinised. Let her do this her way. It's her illness. Her choice. Let her be" Linda frowned and said "Christian, she can't hide here forever, how long do you really think we can hold Papa off?" "She's had a life in the public eye since she was 15, she's still one of the most famous women in the world, she has a stalker and she's fighting cancer. She isn't hiding, she's doing what's important to her. She's healing and content. Mama needs time, in the one place she feels safe, she's not hiding" Christian replied firmly
Linda took notice of what her brother said, it was true that personality wise she was much more like Bjorn, outgoing, bubbly, driven and Christian was much more like his mother shy, introspective and intensely private. Perhaps Christian was right. "Did you talk to her about the abbatars?" wondered Christian. "Yeah, a little. She's not said no, she's worried about how her voice will sound now, she doesn't want Papa to be disappointed, she said she doesn't want to let ABBA down. She's also worried about facing Papa and hiding her illness. That's why she called for Frida to come. She can't travel at the moment and she said Frida would be the only one that could possibly understand the whole picture" Christian heard the tone of her voice and said gently "Linda you must know that's true, we don't know how it really was and we don't know everything about Mama and Papa" "I know she's never loved anyone else! I know she sacrificed everything for him, and still she does it" she protested "it's not up to us to judge her Linda. There's enough other people that do that, I have to go I forgot we have an appointment. We'll chat later" Christian said hurriedly.
After her call with Christian Linda took the kids to school and ran some errands. She stopped for coffee in one of her favourite cafes and considered everything that Agnetha and Christian had said. She decided that she would relax with it all and take Christian's advice. Ultimately her mother was entitled to make her own decisions and Linda would support her, whatever she decided. She was glad Frida was here though, she could only assume that Agnetha had come clean with Frida. She just finished her cup of coffee and was about to leave when she saw her father's car pull into a parking space over the road. She sighed gently as she sat back down, he had obviously seen her. She watched as Bjorn got out of the car and looking both ways jogged across the road. "Linda darling" he said happily, "this is a lovely surprise, I've just come from a long meeting at Slottsholmen what are you doing here?" "I just dropped the kids off and needed fresh air and a bit of time out, I like it here"she replied. Bjorn looked around him. He had never noticed it before let alone stopped. Linda looked at her Papa, he looked tired. She made a decision. "Papa, stay with me a while, have a coffee. Sit" she asked quietly "Oh darling I only stopped to say hello, Lena ....." "Papa, sit with me please" Bjorn looked at his daughter sharply "Linda, what's wrong?" he asked "Nothing Papa, you're so busy all the time, I don't see you as much as I would like, it seems a heaven-sent moment. I can't remember when it was just Linda and Papa" Bjorn felt those words keenly and he capitulated easily. Linda was right. He threw his keys onto the table and went in to order 2 more coffees and a cake to share. He didn't often have cake, Lena said it wasn't healthy and that he was fat but what she didn't know wouldn't worry her would it.
He carried the tray back out and as Linda came into view she was looking out to sea. In that second her profile looked so much like her mother he swore his heart stuttered. He wondered for the millionth time how Agnetha was. The question seemed to be eternally in the back of his mind but no one ever answered him to his satisfaction. He resolved to ask again while he had Linda to himself and she jumped. "Sorry darling,I didn't mean to startle you" she smiled up at him and said "It's ok Papa, you bought cake? When did we last eat cake?" "I don't actually know Linda and I feel sad that I can't remember" she smiled and took a sip of coffee. He picked his up and rested his ankle on his other leg and relaxed. He looked out to sea and they fell into a companionable silence. He felt Linda's small hand cover his left one and squeeze. He squeezed back and looked at her. He was alarmed to see that she had tears in her eyes, she wasn't crying but they were on her eyelashes. He opened his mouth to say something but she beat him to it "the sea always makes me feel so small you know? Like it's infinite. Whatever happens, whatever life throws at us the tide still comes in and the tide still goes out" she turned to smile at him. "Papa, can you believe I'm 44? I have teenagers. I never understood that song until now" "Which song baby girl?" Linda smiled "Slipping Through My Fingers, Mama must have felt like I do. It's heartbreaking. I understand her more than I ever have the older I get" she mused. Bjorn closed his eyes as he remembered the argument that gave birth to that song. Linda wasn't the only one to have gained a better understanding of Anna over the years. He wished that his older self could have been the one to support her through those times. Not his arrogant, entitled younger self. He sighed and opened his eyes. "Did you write it for her Papa?" "Linda, nearly everything I wrote was for your mother" he replied.
"Papa? I'm sorry" said Linda quietly. "I've never been mature enough to apologise for making your life more difficult than it had to be when Christian and I were younger. We didn't mean to make Lena angry. We just didn't understand at the time" Bjorn looked at her totally confused "What are you talking about? You two have never made my life difficult, you two made it worth living!" He put his feet on the floor and turned his chair right around so he faced Linda. "Where does this come from hmm?" He stroked her hair back off her face like he used to when she was small. "Papa, I've had an emotional few days, I'm likely menopausal and I probably won't see you alone again for ages. Lena is always around and she doesn't like us being with you so we try not to demand too much of you" Bjorn was horrified. "Linda, that's not true sweetheart, that's just not true!" "Papa it is true. We heard Lena on the phone with Mama before you moved to England. We were on the other line, we were just kids Papa. Lena said some unforgivable things to Mama about us and you, she doesn't like us" she stopped herself. "Sorry Papa, this is so long ago. You know all this, I shouldn't have bought it up. I just wanted to say we were sorry that's all" Bjorn hugged her and told her it was ok, it was surely just a misunderstanding and they had nothing to be sorry for.
Bjorn was deeply disturbed by the conversation and he felt sure that there was something he was missing but for the life of him he couldn't work out what. He picked up the remains of his coffee and took a contemplative sip,it was just about warm enough to be drinkable. He reached for Linda's hand and held it tight. "Cake?" she offered. "Lena would be horrified" she giggled. "Yeah, she would. What the hell!" laughed Bjorn.
He sat back with a plate of cake in his hand looking out to sea. He took a bite of cake and shut his eyes as he savoured the delicious tastes. God, he thought when was the last time I made the time for cake. When did I sit and EAT cake. Unbidden his mind suddenly remembered the amazing cakes that Anna used to make him. Linda, watching him saw him relax and smile and it made her heart happy.
Both were relaxed and enjoying the moment when Bjorn asked with his eyes still closed "Seeing as it's a day of revelations won't you tell me how your Mama is?"
