Having cleared up the mess that they'd left yesterday morning Benny and Bjorn were sat on the veranda in a companionable silence. They still couldn't wrap their heads around the events of yesterday. They had talked and talked well into the night after Christian had dropped them off. None of them had wanted to part but time was needed for all of them to regroup. Bjorn had checked his phone last night once he had got back here and been faced with a barrage of shouting. He had spoken to Lena first thing this morning and had made it very clear to her that he would stay with Benny for another few days. They had lots of work to do. It had not gone down well with Lena but he did not care. He had never had time to himself before ever and he felt he needed it. She took herself away for a few weeks at a time. All he was asking for was a few days. When Benny checked his phone there was several messages from Mona asking where his drunken useless arse was. He also called her and said he was working with Bjorn for a few days. Unlike Lena, she didn't care but she made sure to tell Benny she didn't see what the point was. Those ordeals over the boys could relax and that's what they were doing now. They would take this opportunity to stock up the place and make it look a bit more lived in. Bjorn asked Benny if he wanted to keep a few clothes here for future use, Benny was very grateful. Bjorn felt that this would be the easiest place to go from when they went to Ekero because the cars would be hidden behind the gates and the neighbours were used to seeing Christian's truck. Bjorn spent part of the morning on his laptop sorting out a security upgrade for Vallentuna, just a small one then he and Benny worked out the logistics of security for the studio. They had some in place but it would definitely need a boost. He texted Christian to ask for the name of the company that did the house at Ekero and then e mailed them. Benny spent some time ordering groceries to be delivered to Vallentuna that wouldn't go off. It would arrive the next day. They would pack it away before they left.
They had every intention of sorting out Vallentuna as it was going to be used much more now, certainly as they headed in towards recording and seeing the girls more often.
They settled down to relax and do nothing. They both found this hard but were determined to make the most of it. Bjorn did a spot of gardening while Benny played his way through Bjorn's music collection. He was really touched to see that Bjorn owned everything he'd ever done.
They came back together when they were hungry and they fashioned a weird sort of lunch out of the leftover food from yesterday.
They spent their evening with the tv on in the back ground and called for a Chinese takeaway. It was the quietest and laziest of days and Bjorn couldn't deny that he'd enjoyed every minute of the time that he had spent at Vallentuna with Benny. He felt that they had renewed and strengthened their friendship. They had discussed every under the sun, the new songs, Mona, Lena, how their lives were. What they needed to change. They discussed each other, what they wanted, what they needed, then as always they fell back to discussing Anna and Frida.
They had no need of alcohol tonight and Benny didn't even crave it. He hadn't even thought about it but Bjorn had noticed and was secretly delighted.
They had long finished the takeaway when Bjorn asked Benny absent-mindedly "How did Frida get here so fast after you rang her about the possibility of doing new songs?" "Funny that" replied Benny. "I asked her yesterday how no one knew she was in the country and she said that she had chartered a private jet in Geneva to fly her straight here as she needed to get here fast. She said she booked a car from the airport to go straight to Ekero" "I wonder what the hurry was" mused Bjorn. "We haven't even really started on the songs yet"
"I wouldn't worry about it" said Benny. "You know that Anna would have needed to thrash it out in her own mind and then with Frida. She would never have discussed it with us and Frida is the only other one that could possibly understand the pressures that she would be under" Bjorn agreed quietly, it sounded reasonable but he just couldn't shake his feeling that he was missing something. "Why would Anna want to go to Viggso Benny? Why would she want to come here? Why now after all this time?" "Because she's only now talking to you? She didn't know you owned this place and she was so happy here Bjorn. She hasn't the happiest of lives since. Bjorn considered what Benny had said. He was sure that Benny had the truth, he was still equally sure that there was something else neither of them knew. "She said something to me in the garden" he confided "she said she had to garden so that she didn't lose her mind again, did she lose her mind Benny when I wasn't here?" he sounded anguished. Benny considered his next words carefully "She had a very hard time Bjorn I can't deny that. The kids missed you intensely and they ran her ragged and though she couldn't admit it she missed you dreadfully as well. Linda was especially awful for a while and Christian wouldn't let her go anywhere without him. He was very clingy. She went through hell and back with both of them and then you came back and she was delighted. So happy. She thought it would make it better but in fact it made it worse" Bjorn was deeply hurt. "What did I do?" he asked "it wasn't you per se" Benny was reassuring."it was Lena and her attitude to the kids, Anna had no idea what had hit her when the kids were feeling rejected because Lena wanted her kids to come first. You spent 6 years with them and not with Linda and Christian but do you know I never once heard her say one bad thing about you? She defended you time after time and soothed them and told them without pause that you loved them and to ignore what Lena said. She did that endlessly for years but it took a toll on her. It wounded her when Linda would scream at her terrible things" "such as?" Bjorn didn't want to ask but he had to. "That she was a terrible mother, that it wasn't a wonder you left her, that nobody loved her. She called her a whore and a slut so many times" Benny shook his head at the memory. "Anna was beside herself and maybe she did feel like she lost her mind for a while" Bjorn exploded "she was never like that when she came to visit me. She never said a word about her mother. Not really! I'd have put a stop to it if I'd have known! None of that is true" Bjorn was appalled. "Bjorn, she believed the press for a long time. She was a teenager! Don't be too hard on her. They fixed themselves in the end" Bjorn wasn't satisfied with that."Bjorn, don't reopen old wounds" Benny warned. This is long ago for them" Bjorn moved on "and Tomas?" "Ah now there you have me, I don't know anything. She met him and married him so, so fast. None of us ever understood it. He was a very strange man. She fell off everyone's radar. Even Frida's, she hated Tomas. She went to stay with them once as you know. After that it wasn't until after they divorced that any of us heard from her again. She started retreating from the world then and it just got worse and worse. No one could break her out and to this day Tomas name has never passed her lips to my knowledge, even Linda and Christian never say a word and the rest you know" Bjorn wondered if he did know, did any of them know for sure? How much more was she hiding? "I need to talk to Christian" he sighed. Benny blinked at the sudden change of subject. "I need to see these threats. All of them. I want to know who they are aimed at, what they consist of and what actually has her so scared" "Is that wise? I understand some of them are very intimate. You may not cope" Benny coughed. "Benny she's coped with this alone for 30 years or more. My children cope with it. I'll have to learn to do so. If we bring back ABBA it will only get worse. She must know that and I have to wonder why she said yes." Bjorn did pause for thought though. He had not considered that some of the threats would be intimate. He wondered if Benny was right. Could he handle it? It didn't matter that they were divorced, she belonged to him, it had always been so for him. He admitted it now for the first time even though deep down he'd known for years. Benny was right, he would find it hard to deal with intimate threats but his son obviously did and that must be awful to have to consider your mother in that way. He was determined that he too would learn to handle it. There's no way he would allow his son to continue this alone.
Benny yawned and said "We need to go to Viggso soon Bjorn. I need to write. I have a melody in my head today and it won't go. Bjorn smiled widely at the sudden change in subject. It had been a long time since he had heard Benny say that. "I'm exhausted, let's sleep" said Bjorn."We have one more day of freedom tomorrow" Benny agreed with alacrity, he hadn't quite liked to admit he was tired and he was looking forward to tomorrow with Bjorn. Who knew what the day had in store for them. Given the week they'd both had nothing would surprise him. He lay in bed, in the room that Bjorn had let him claim as his a little while later and thought of Frida. He hoped that they had had a good "girlie day" he wondered how she was and decided he would call her tomorrow. He turned over and went to sleep with ease. Bjorn on the other hand was still wrestling with yesterday and all its events and his usual insomnia had returned with a vengeance. He thought about everything he had discovered over and over, until he could think no more. He made a plan of campaign in his mind of all the things he wanted to achieve by the time he saw Anna again, he hoped with everything he had that she wouldn't shut him down again and he would be allowed to see her again. He reminded himself that she had promised to do the new songs. She had promised him. He went to sleep on that thought.
While the other half of ABBA slept, Frida was watching the moonlight in Ekero with a cup of tea in her hand reflecting on her day, she had been warned that it was hard, Anna had tried to make her back out. She said she'd go alone with Christian, she'd done it before but Frida refused. She had promised Linda. What she had witnessed today was brutal and her tears that she had held back all day fell as she remembered Anna's courage and determination when she had fought with the pain of her treatment, when the doctor had even apologised and given her morphine. When that same doctor had said remember this might burn a little as it goes in as she had connected the drip up to her cannula and judging by Anna's face it did much more than burn. But never, not once during that whole day of hell had Anna complained. She had managed to tell Frida everything that had transpired between her and Bjorn the day before and smiled as Frida shared her excitement that they were talking again. She had got irate when Frida shared Benny's story and she had cried with happiness when Frida told her she didn't care about Mona and she and Benny were going to spend some time alone at Vallentuna, that she loved Benny and she would fix him. She laughed when they remembered the story the boys told about Lena screaming at Bjorn. They talked of the children and grandchildren. Anything to while the day away and keep their minds off what was actually happening though they had laughed about Anna's cold cap that was an attempt to keep her hair. Anna had stopped her midstory towards the end of the afternoon. "Frida?" she had said quietly and gently put a hand on her arm. "I'm so sorry, this must be doubly hard for you, I just want to say whatever happens, I'll never regret this time that we've had. All the stories, the memories, seeing the boys. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so happy you came for me. Just remember that later on this week when it really bites and I turn into an unrecognisable virago. Because I will. I'll say stuff I don't mean and I'll be in an awful mood. I'm generally hideous to be around. I know it but I can't stop it. I'll apologise now, in advance. Just remember that I love you and I do want you here" Frida had comforted her and promised she could handle it. She could hear Anna moving about now and it was well past midnight. She put her cup down and went to see her. Frida crept into Anna's bedroom and saw that she was in her rocking chair, just rocking gently. Frida sat cross legged on the floor next to her. "Ok?" She asked simply. "I want you to promise me something Frida" said Anna. "Anything darling." "I want you to fight for Benny, he needs you and you need him. He's so unhappy and he's paid over and over for what he did to you. You love him so much, you never stopped. He loves you. He just can't say it yet because he thinks he doesn't deserve you. We're old now. Please don't waste the rest of your life. You have so much left to live. You're both well and healthy. Don't live with these regrets. Do something about it. It would mean so much to him and to me." Anna stopped, exhausted. "It's not that easy Anna" protested Frida. "It IS that easy Frida. Do you love him?" ""Always." whispered Frida. "Would you want to wake up with him every morning?" "More than anything"said Frida tiredly. "How would you feel if Benny was the one who was poorly? and you missed your chance?" "Anna, this isn't fair" Frida protested. "No it isn't" agreed Anna but you two are my best friends and you need each other. Promise me?" "Oh Anna, I promise. I want it too. It's not a difficult promise for me to make, but what about Mona?" "What about her?" she's made her position clear for 30 odd years" Anna was dismissive. "What changed your tune? I never thought I'd see the day when you were encouraging me to break up a marriage" asked Frida curiously. "It's no marriage when someone can treat someone like that. Benny is eaten alive with regret every day. It took you to give him permission to play. It will kill him if you don't get him back. He doesn't deserve it. You deserve to be happy too Frida after everything and I know he's the only man who can make you happy. Frida bowed her head in defeat. "Don't make him suffer anymore" pleaded Anna. Frida got up onto her knees and put her arms around Anna's waist and rested her head in her lap and finally cried for her, for Benny, for Anna and Bjorn and the price they had all paid for giving the world everything they had.
Anna kept rocking and she stroked Frida's hair till the storm had passed. She even hummed a little. Eventually Frida sat back on her heels and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. Anna handed her a tissue. Frida smiled and blew her nose. "You planned that" she accused gently. Anna smiled quietly. "Well not necessarily right now but the time seemed right. Tomorrow night I'll be screaming because my skin burns, Wednesday I'll be throwing my guts up all night, Thursday night I'll be out cold because I'm so exhausted and by Friday my skin will peel and I'll have a mouthful of ulcers. By Saturday I'll feel less sick and want ice cream to sooth my ulcers and on Sunday I'll be starving because I won't have managed to eat much since Tuesday morning. By Monday I'll have a foot on the road to normal then I'll have 3 weeks till the next treatment." She looked up at Frida "I'd run now if I were you" she giggled. Frida grinned and retorted "no chance, you make it sound SUCH fun!!" Anna and Frida clasped hands and roared with laughter.
