Bjorn had no intention of leaving Ekero for 48 hours at least. He needed time to heal both physically and mentally. He was exhausted and he knew it. He didn't want his injuries to be common knowledge but Anna insisted on taking photos of all of them for his own protection. She downloaded them onto her mainframe and then downloaded and saved the conversation that Bjorn had recorded on his phone as well. He had watched her admiringly, she always hated technology in the past but now she embraced it. For her part Anna could see that Bjorn was at the absolute limits of his endurance and he needed time to regroup and it was her turn to look after him. Instead of her needing him, it was the other way around.
He had slept the night through and hadn't woken when she was sick in the early hours of the morning, nor when she had wriggled back into bed but he did put his arm round her in his sleep and drag her in to him and settle her. She dropped straight back to sleep.
She woke up with the dawn and was conscious that she was genuinely bone deep happy. There were no clouds on her horizon. Even her cancer seemed surmountable. There was always a chance. She was so close to the end of her treatment. She smiled and snuggled a bit more. Bjorn woke at her wiggling and hushed her thinking she was having a nightmare, he pulled her closer. She definitely wasn't complaining. "It's ok" he mumbled more than half asleep."I'm here, I won't leave you baby"
"I'm fine Bjorn" she reassured him "I'm good"she whispered. She kissed his cheek, made her way to his lips and kissed them softly. "I love you baby" she whispered "I want a cup of tea in bed, you want one?" Bjorn smiled and mumbled sleepily "Is that you awake now?" She blushed and said "Probably, I'm sorry. I'll be quiet and leave you to sleep baby"
She gave him a gentle kiss and slid out of bed. She fetched her robe and crept out of the bedroom, downstairs she made tea and some pancake batter which she left on the side. She was properly hungry today. She found the bacon and some maple syrup, her sweet tooth since she had been on chemotherapy was legendary. She carried her tea into the sunroom and sat on her rocking chair. It was still pouring she noted. Perfect day for what she had planned. She smiled and drank her tea, took her first set of tablets and ate a biscuit. She got up and put some music on. Benny's "Piano" demo today. She was in a mellow mood. It was on very quietly so as not to disturb Bjorn. She went back to the kitchen for another cup of tea and she turned the music on in there as well. She sat at the counter happily planning Sunday's menu, this was a surprise for Bjorn, she would mend him she thought, she would bring his world back together. She finished her planning and had included some of Bjorn's favourite things and Christian had told her he'd liked Sunday roast in England so that's what they were having with puddings and cake. She counted how many people, 19 she thought. She couldn't wait to see Bjorn's face. She took the list into her office and put it in the drawer, she would order later.
It was no good she thought, she was hungry so she flashed up the frying pan and started frying a couple of pancakes and some bacon. She made herself 4 pancakes in the end and left enough batter for Bjorn. She fried off some bacon and piled her plate high. She settled at the kitchen table with it and the paper that Christian had bought back yesterday. She had got half way through her first pancake and 3 pages into the paper when she heard Bjorn coming down the stairs. She watched over the top of her glasses as he wandered into the kitchen, he was searching for her, she knew. He zeroed in on her immediately and made a beeline for her "I woke up and you were gone" he grumbled. "You needed to sleep" she soothed him. "I've been down here for a while" "I can see that baby" he kissed her cheek and stole a bit of her bacon. She grinned and guarded the rest of her food. "Bjorn there's plenty for you, I left loads" she protested laughing. "Yes I'm sure you have but it tastes so much nicer from your plate" He stole her fork from her and ate the bit of pancake on it then kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered "You've no idea how much I've missed you and this" he kissed her neck and straightened up. "Come with me?" he asked. He picked up her plate and carried it back to the kitchen. She rolled her eyes happily and followed. He put the frying pan back on to heat and turned and lifted her up onto the counter next to him. "Bjorn, why do you keep carrying me everywhere? I can do it" she asked curiously. She swore he blushed a bit, then he said "because it's what I used to do, I loved it then and I love it now. I like having you near me. It makes me feel like you accept me when you let me do it" he sighed gently. "It's our normal and I want it back" Anna's heart melted and she grinned. "I love that Bjorn. I'm lucky you can still lift me up" He doled out some pancake batter into the pan and said "Anna you don't weigh as much as you did when we got married! Believe you me I remember" "I don't remember what I weighed but thank you" she mused. "Maybe my lack of appetite doesn't help and sometimes I can't physically eat even when I'm hungry. The mouth ulcers are an issue, so when I am hungry I eat loads if I can." Bjorn considered her words, he wanted to learn. He'd already missed too much."Does the chemo change your taste? You never had quite such a sweet tooth. You put a lot of sugar in your tea now and you used to hate it and I see you have a fair amount of maple syrup on your plate there" he waved the spatula at her plate. "Yes I think so" Anna mused. "I think the chemo might have killed my taste buds. I can't taste much except super sweet and super spicy. Sometimes I taste salt. I have a terrible metallic taste in my mouth most of the time. It gets better the more time away from chemo I am if you see what I mean" "Hence the bacon? Sweet and salt on one plate. I get it" said Bjorn. "I make the most of having no mouth ulcers and eat like a pig when I can, it doesn't last long" she said ruefully. "Eat baby, it's fine" Bjorn reassured her. She grabbed her plate and used her fork to cut up her pancakes and ate them while Bjorn was cooking his. " Want some more?" he asked as she demolished her last one. "No thank you" she nibbled at the bacon on her plate. "What do you want to do today Bjorn?"she asked. "It's pouring with rain" he said. "I want to do all those things we said yesterday. All the things I've missed out on. I want to sit with you and read the paper, I want to potter with you. I've forgotten what that's like. I don't know how to relax anymore. I always needed you to be able to let go" he sighed heavily. "I want to snuggle with you on the sofa and listen to the rain, watch a film. Help me baby. I'm so tired" Anna's heart broke for him as she understood that the pressure for him had never stopped and in her attempt to protect him and remove herself from his life to keep him safe she had inadvertently removed his only escape.
Her tears broke free as she pulled him towards her "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I wouldn't talk to you" she pulled him until he was resting between her legs. "I did it to keep you alive and because I can't lie to you. I can't hide anything from you. It was better not to see you or talk to you" she hiccuped and said "I wanted you to be happy in the life you had chosen and you didn't need a crazy ex wife who was still in love with you hanging on your tail" "Instead of which you had and still have all the psychos in the world hanging on YOUR tail and a stubborn ex husband who was and is still in love with YOU" retorted Bjorn. "You know what I wish? I wish that someone would have locked our stupid young arses in a room together and forced us to talk all this out. Who knows, you might not have had so many psychos if we'd have stayed together, not to mention the fact that that I've always bloody loved you" "that's true, but you got Emma and Anna and you're so lucky. It was worth all of it for them Bjorn and thank you, I've always bloody loved you too" Anna replied with a smile. "Yes I'm lucky but the price was high Anna for both of us. Glad you still love this grumpy old bastard though" he kissed her nose and picked up his plate and two fresh teas. "Come on" he said. Anna wriggled off the counter and followed. He went into the sun room and put his plate down on the little side table next to the enormous sofa and the teas. The rain was hammering on the roof and windows and he could hear Benny's piano still playing and he grinned. "You like this demo too? I have it at Vallentuna. I love it" Anna was snuggling on the sofa under a bright red blanket and said "Yes, I play it a lot. Stops my mind sometimes." she stopped and looked like she was debating "What?" Bjorn asked curiously. "I think he should do a album that is just ABBA and his piano. I think people don't realise how beautiful the bare bones of ABBA really are. How complicated the melodies are that you two wrote." she paused. "I know you'll laugh at my whimsy. The real beauty is hidden behind the wall of sound and Frida and I singing. The songs are beautiful Bjorn, they really are. They could stand alone and the craftsmanship would show" Bjorn frowned and said "You two are the voices of ABBA baby"
"I know but imagine how beautiful it would sound" Bjorn settled next to her and propped his feet up. Just by sheer coincidence "The Day Before You Came" was the next track to come on and Anna smiled "just listen to it Bjorn. Listen properly, imagine what you could do with all of the ABBA back catalogue? It would give ABBA a different sound, a different perspective." Bjorn ate his pancake thoughtfully as he listened. He looked at her askance and said "how long have you been thinking about this?" "Since I first heard the demo. ABBA is coming back Bjorn and if I fuck it up and can't sing anymore, if the chemo has wrecked my vocal cords you and Benny at least have something and maybe you could pick through some of the old tapes for bits of my voice that haven't been heard before and use them in your new work." "Anna, where do you come up with such amazing ideas?" he asked. "Because even if I can't sing I want to be a little bit a part of it. I want you and Benny and Frida to have this chance more than anything" she said quietly. "Anna baby, you will sing." Bjorn objected. "Yes I will Bjorn, but maybe only for us. I have to face the possibility that the chemo may have wrecked my vocal cords and you have to face that too. You promised me you wouldn't release it if I sounded awful" she reminded him. "I did, I stand by that promise Anna" he reassured her. "But I still have faith in you" She blushed "you keep saying that" she commented. "Let's just wait and see hmm?" She stole a bit of pancake off his plate and cuddled into his side. He smiled gently as he speared the last bit of pancake and used it to wipe up the last of his maple syrup. He offered it to her and she let him feed her. There was silence for a while and she said "Would you have enough patience to do that for a couple of days?" "Do what?" Bjorn asked confused. "Do you think you'd have enough patience to feed me? Do you think you would have the patience to put up with my horrific temper? Will you be embarrassed when I have to ask you to put me on the toilet? Will you be strong enough to stay with me when I'm screaming?" she faltered at the last. Bjorn genuinely thought his heart had stopped and he turned himself a little and tugged her closer. He gently forced her to meet his eyes and his composure cracked a little at the vulnerability and the tears in her eyes. He kissed her softly and said simply "Yes baby" He heard her sniffle and she said "if you still want to, you can take me to chemo" "Thank you Anna" he said. His own voice broke a bit. He felt on top of the world that his Anna had given him her trust back. He wouldn't let her down.
They spent the rest of the day pottering as he had wished, she made him bring his stuff in and told him to put it wherever he wanted. They pored over his childhood photos and reminisced over his photos of them as a couple, most of which she hadn't seen for years. They were different to hers. She looked at his mother's jewellery and had a tear in her eye. She had loved wearing it back in the day. It was beautiful. Bjorn had looked up from setting up his mainframe on a desk Anna had sent him up to the attic to get. She had made him put it next to hers in the study after she'd moved hers over a bit. "Lena never, ever wore them baby, she said they were too old fashioned and she didn't deserve to wear second hand stuff. They haven't been worn by anyone except my grandmother, my mother and you." He told her honestly. Anna frowned and said "That's terrible, they are so beautiful. I have no IDEA why I'm crying" she dashed her tears away impatiently. He wandered over and fished the necklace out of the box. She smiled as the rubies flashed in the light of the desk lamp. He laid the rubies against her chest and clipped them on securely. "They've been cold for far too long Anna. Rubies should be warm baby. Let me see them on you again." he asked her quietly " They haven't left their box for 38 years. It's time you wore them." He said "What just wandering round the house? Bjorn you're crazy! They are too beautiful and valuable" she paused "though you are sweet" "Anna I want to see you in them. What will happen to them here?? I haven't seen them for so long. Humour an old man hmm?" He winked at her and she grinned. She went to look at herself in the mirror "Oh look at that" she sighed. "I'd forgotten how beautiful they really are" He was conscious of a deep sense of happiness and belonging as he watched Anna wearing the rubies. He fetched the earrings out of the box and stood in front of her one in each hand. She looked at them and then looked at him."Oh no Bjorn, I'll look ridiculous" he just stood and waited and lifted his eyebrows. "Why?" she asked "because I'd like you to, I want to see them all on you" She rolled her eyes contentedly and said "Oh alright" she took the earrings that she was wearing out and put them on Bjorn's desk and put the rubies in one at a time. She admired them for a moment in the mirror then turned and looked at Bjorn "Satisfied now?" He studied her and said "they look beautiful on you, yes I'm happy for now"
Bjorn lit the fire in the main living room later in the afternoon. It was wet and cold and he had a fancy to snuggle in front of the fire. He hadn't had a fire for years Lena hadn't liked them and it wasn't worth the hassle or the argument. It was worth it when Anna walked into the room and her eyes lit up. "Oh Bjorn!! What a wonderful surprise! I love having the fire lit!" she said excitedly. "Thank you" "Do you light it often?"asked Bjorn"I used to before I was ill but when I carry the wood it catches on my cannula and I can't keep asking Jens to fill the wood basket with smaller pieces. I managed to dislodge my cannula the last time and I thought the bleeding would never stop and it was horrible having it put back in, so not as often as I would like. This is such a treat"
Bjorn reflected that it was amazing that for the both of them it was the simple things that meant the most, he was happy to see her wear his mother's rubies and she was calmed by him lighting a fire. He would keep that wood basket full for her he decided. He also decided that he felt like cooking and Anna gave him free range in the kitchen. He marvelled at the range of food and ingredients he had to choose from.When he asked her about it she told him that everyday she had an army to feed and it made her happy to cook. She explained that it calmed her as well and it has been known for her to cook all night when she couldn't sleep. He found it hard to believe that their lives had gone in opposite directions in every respect and although he found it a ridiculous comparison he couldn't help but think of Lena who wouldn't cook if her life depended on it and relied on lunch out or caterers. Anna's lasagne that he had eaten on the day she had first allowed him back to Ekero had genuinely been the first home made meal in months and more than likely years. He and Benny were in the same boat when it came to food. He had cooked for the girls when they lived at home but up until now there had been little point since then. He used to love cooking with Anna and he smiled as he imagined it being a regular thing in their future. For now he whipped up a sweet and sour chicken and rice and he put it in her pasta bowls so they could eat it on the sofa. He found some prawn crackers in the cupboard and put them in a big bowl.
When he got back into the living room the fire was going well and Anna was sat on the floor right in front of it just watching the flames. He put the bowls on the coffee table near her and she jumped a little "Sorry" he said "God no it's ok, that smells great what is it?" she asked. He told her and she was delighted. "I don't remember the last time someone cooked for me" "I'm out of practice" Bjorn explained why and then said "I'll practice and do something a little more adventurous next time" "Bjorn please stop. You don't have to do anything else. I love sweet and sour thank you" She tugged him down and said "Tell me we aren't too old to sit cross legged on the floor in front of the fire" she grinned at him. "Never baby" he laughed out loud and handed her a bowl and put the crackers between them on the floor. They watched a movie and by the time it was over it was dark outside. He picked up their bowls and took them to the kitchen. He put everything in the dishwasher, cleared away and put the dishwasher on before returning to the living room with some chocolate he had found in the cupboard. What he found was Anna lying on the floor in front of the fire. She'd got all of the cushions off the sofa and made a nest. "Comfy?" he teased."I will be when you're down here too" she said pertly "Bring the blanket" his eyebrows shot up and said "Bossy tonight? Can I do anything else for you while I'm up?" "No but you can when you're down" she winked at him. He burst out laughing and moved the coffee table back a bit and dragged the blanket off the sofa. "Come on then, let's snuggle" he said as he made himself comfy. He was confused as he heard the shutters come down. "What's going on?" he asked "I put the shutters down" Anna told him. "Are you feeling unsafe baby?" he asked worried. "No, it makes it cosy and totally private. I've never felt safer" she reassured him. She kissed him gently and whispered in his ear. "You remembered, Oh God" he moaned happily. "Jesus Anna I love you" the effect her words had on him was nuclear.
Much later when she was wearing nothing but rubies and firelight and was totally sated, she turned to an equally content and naked Bjorn and said "I love you too Bjorn, should I take the rubies off now?" His eyes narrowed and he said "Absolutely fucking not Anna"
"Rubies and firelight baby, home is rubies and firelight" were his last words for a while.
