The ride back to Ekero was uneventful for a change, there was a bit of chatter but mostly it was companionable silence. Bjorn and Anna shared the backseat with the baby in the middle so that Christian could bring the screens down. It would cause a riot if Bjorn and Anna were spotted together going into Ekero and they didn't want that just yet. This was time for Bjorn to heal and for them to spend some time together without drama.
They got out of the truck behind the house as usual. Bjorn was frowning a bit as he unbuckled the baby and swung her out. "What's wrong Papa?" asked Christian. "There was 6 of them at the gate today. 6 ones to worry about amongst the crowd." He looked at his watch "it's 1430 on a Sunday afternoon. It was busier than I expected" "Still the weekend Papa, don't worry, we can look at the camera feeds later and pick out the ones you saw. Did you bring your phone and your laptop?" Christian asked. Bjorn blinked at the change in subject but said "Yes, got them both" "Good" was all Christian said. Bjorn shook his head in loving exasperation. "I'll take the baby" said Christian. "She needs a change and a nap. We left in rather a hurry. Mama was in lion mode. I tend to do as she says when she's like that. He laughed. "She was the one coming for you today Papa. There was no stopping her once she worked out where you were" Bjorn had a funny feeling in his chest as he digested Christian's words. He opened his mouth to say something and Christian said "I'll leave you two to chat" He turned to Anna and said "I'll come over a bit later if thats ok. Maybe 6 ish? We can have some supper and I'll start transfering the systems over" Anna smiled and said "That's perfect darling. We'll see you later"
Anna walked towards the house and realised that Bjorn wasn't following her, she turned and looked at him enquiringly. Her heart broke a little bit at him looking so lost. She walked back towards him and said "Bjorn, you can come in now, it's ok. She held out her hand and smiled as he took it. "Come on I'm hungry" she said pulling him up the steps. She pulled him into the kitchen and said "Make yourself at home, Frida I think is packing to go away with Benny tomorrow. They plan to go to Vallentuna. It's time they sorted themselves out" she bustled around the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"she asked Bjorn "Not really" he said "but you eat if you're hungry Baby" she looked at him askance and said "Bjorn, I'll make you something anyway, you need to eat darling. Then we're going to go for a walk. I want to walk and we'll talk if you want. I need fresh air. It's been a long week for all of us"
Bjorn sat watching her heat up some soup and make a slice of cheese on toast each and he could not deny that he finally felt at peace. Last time he was here he couldn't take his eyes off her and so didn't take much notice of his surroundings. This time he knew he was here for a little while at least so he was able to look around with some interest. He smiled as he took in how lovely and homely her kitchen was, it was very obviously the centre of her home. So different from his. He was sat at an enormous table that could easily seat 20 or more people. He saw all of the pictures on the walls, of her with the kids, the kids, the grandchildren, ABBA, even him with the kids as they grew older. He got up to inspect them more closely. It was a beautiful history, even Benny and Frida were up there, Frida and Anna and a few of him and Anna together. He touched the one she had up of them kissing on stage in Australia. He jumped as she said behind him "I love that picture, I wanted them all to know we were normal once, that they were all borne out of love" Bjorn reached for her hand and gripped it gratefully. He didn't say a word as he perused the other pictures. He came across the ones of Emma and Anna with Christian and Linda and asked "Who took these?" Anna became shy and her gaze was fixed to the floor "I did" "Why would you do that? he wondered "they aren't yours, they would remind you of everything that went wrong surely?" Anna didn't take it the way it sounded, she had learnt patience over the years and she knew Bjorn was hurting."Bjorn, they are innocent children, we cannot make them pay for our sins. They are up there because they deserve to be. They are part of our family, they are Christian and Linda's sisters, they are yours therefore they belong there" Bjorn sighed and turned to her. He cupped her face in his hands gently and forced her to meet his eyes. "You don't have the slightest clue how special you are do you?" he asked. "I'm not special" she said "I'm just me, don't be cross with me. I know they're not mine" "I'm not cross Baby. I'm humbled, happy, blown away by your capacity for love" he rested his forehead on hers "You've no idea how much I wish they were yours" he whispered painfully. Anna's heart stumbled and cracked a little. "Me too" she said honestly. He leaned down and touched her lips with his, today her lips were not dry he discovered. In fact they tasted amazing, like they always had and he had no choice but to stay with this kiss. He felt her lean into him and he was hopelessly happy that she had accepted him. She broke away from him to breathe and she leant her forehead on his shoulder to get her breath back. She giggled then pecked him on the lips and said "Same as always then, let's eat" He grinned as he realised what she was saying. Regardless of all their troubles, their ability to turn each other on had never been affected, clearly time and age had not changed them.
They sat and ate, Bjorn surprising himself by demolishing the lot and nicking Anna's last piece of toast. Anna hid a smile. She knew him well.
As they finished eating Frida came clattering down the stairs with a suitcase,she looked radiantly happy. "Anna!!" she yelled. She had not seen Bjorn yet. "ANNA" she yelled again. "What???" Anna yelled back laughing "I'm right here!! Good LORD! What's WRONG with you? You can see me!" Bjorn couldn't help the enormous grin on his face, nice to know other things hadn't changed either. These girls!! "Did you find him darling?" Frida asked as she came round the corner. "I did!" Anna smiled "and he's right here!! You've been on the phone to Benny for so long that I've been to Vallentuna and back and we've eaten while you've been whispering sweet nothings at each other" Frida saw Bjorn sat there next to Anna and had the good grace to blush crimson. She cleared her throat and looked mortified. Bjorn and Anna couldn't help themselves and they burst into helpless laughter. "Well, we had a lot to say" Frida defended herself. Anna giggled and said "You saw him yesterday" Frida grinned and said "I know" she went and got herself a cup of tea. She sat herself on the other side of Bjorn and said "How are you?" "Better than I was" Bjorn told her truthfully. "Good" Frida said genuinely. She ruffled his hair affectionately like she used to and sat back in her chair, fidgeted,then sat forward, then she crossed her legs. Anna put up with this for 10 minutes while they were all talking and then said "Frida, darling I love you but will you stop fidgeting. What in the world is wrong with you?" Bjorn hadn't really noticed as he was too busy enjoying the company and being with Anna and Frida, added to this he felt safe. No one could get to him here unless Anna let them in and he felt like he could be himself. He focused on Frida and saw that she was indeed agitated. "Come on, spit it out" said Anna laughing in exasperation."Will you be ok if I go with Benny today?" asked Frida. "It's really ok if you're not, you know I love being with you" Anna burst out laughing "Frida, for goodness sake, Christian is just over the yard. I'm here alone most of the time, it's just I've been lucky to have you the last few weeks. Bjorn call Benny and tell him to get the pool truck and get his arse over here and get her. I'm not having her mooning about for the next 24 hours!" she rolled her eyes good naturedly.
Bjorn grinned as he rummaged his mobile out of his pocket. He noted he had several missed calls and texts from Lena and a few from Emma and Anna. He resolved to deal with those later and rang Benny. "Where are you Benny?" he said without preamble."Hello to you too" Benny grumbled."More to the point where are you?? It feels like half the world is looking for you. I've spent half the morning yelling at Lena. God she's rude! I wouldn't tell her where you were even if I knew. Which I don't" he added pointedly "and you've spent the other half of the morning whispering sweet nothings in Frida's ear" remarked Bjorn. "How do you know that?"demanded Benny. "Because I went to Vallentuna last night and Anna worked out where I was and came and got me. I've been at Ekero for about an hour." He frowned as it finally occured to him to wonder how Anna knew he was in trouble. He looked at her and she smiled at him and suddenly it didn't matter for now.
"Right Benny, where are you?" he asked "I'm at the studio" Benny replied. "Couldn't be better" said Bjorn amused. "Leave your car there, sign out the truck again and come here" "What for?" asked Benny alarmed. "There's nothing wrong but Anna's fed up with Frida mooning about after you and she says she can't stand Frida like this for another 24 hours. She wants you to come and get her earlier" There was a stunned silence that made Bjorn laugh and then he said "Come on man, get moving. Vallentuna is waiting for you" Benny said "I'll be there as quick as I can" "you want me to come down and get you from the gate" asked Bjorn. "I know you don't like it" he was remembering Benny's reaction to the situation the other day. " It's pretty busy today mate" "No need, I can do it" said Benny determinedly. "I'll open the gates" said Anna. "Get him to text you the registration number" "did you hear that?" Bjorn asked. "Yep, got it" Benny replied.
Frida was mortified but in a good way and was delighted as she helped Anna clear up. "I won't be far away darling, if you need me call me and I'll come back" Anna smiled gently and said "This is your time Frida, you've done enough for me. This is a good week and I'll be fine" she reassured her "but I promise that I will call if I need you" Frida was happy with that and asked her if Bjorn would stay. "I want him to" admitted Anna "it's up to him though" "Will you tell him this week?" asked Frida carefully "Yes, I will. I will tell him when the time is right but we need to be alone for me to do it. I have to be strong because he won't stay so I need to enjoy this little time I have with him when we are not at odds or fighting." Frida hugged Anna and whispered in her ear "I truly believe he will surprise you darling" Anna felt the tears rise and swallowed them back "I hope so Frida, if he doesn't can you live with the fact that ABBA may not sing again? What if it strains you and Benny?" It won't. We're too old for that now. I promise it won't. ABBA can stay where it is if it all goes wrong. But it WON'T Anna. I still have faith in him" Frida hugged her and moved away.
Bjorn watched this whispered exchange between these two girls out of the corner of his eye and marvelled at their closeness after all this time. It was ironic that Frida and Anna's relationship had survived the fire of ABBA as had his and Benny's and yet their respective marriages had not. He wondered at the vagaries of life.
Bjorn was interrupted from his musings by the gate buzzer and Anna running to the camera screens. "Bjorn do you have the registration number?" He checked his phone and read it out to her while looking over her shoulder. He watched her zoom the cameras in on the truck and compare the numbers. She then zoomed in on Benny's face. He was wearing dark glasses but it was unmistakably him. She swung the cameras up to watch the crowd and opened the gates. Bjorn was watching the people while Anna was watching the gates and he took note again of the 6 that concerned him. Benny navigated the gates successfully and with aplomb. That would have done his confidence some good Bjorn reflected driving through a crowd like that.
It wasn't long before Benny was pulling in at the back of the house and Bjorn considered that he had a massive spring in his step as he watched him get out of the car. He looked at Anna and smiled. Benny came striding up the steps and hugged Anna gently and straightened her headscarf. He turned to look at Bjorn and said "I don't know what's going on with you but whatever it is you should have done it years ago!" Bjorn looked confused and said "I haven't done anything yet" "Yet being the operative word" Benny snorted laughing. "I expect the same protection in return when Mona calls you my brother" Bjorn grinned and said "Consider it done and likewise" Anna rolled her eyes happily and was just about to say "Come on in" when she was knocked sideways by Frida running past her to get to Benny, this time Benny had no doubt that he would catch her and he did. Bjorn meanwhile had done an adept job of catching and steadying Anna as Frida accidently sent her reeling, he was secretly delighted, it meant he got to hold onto her. He pulled her gently by the hips until she was tight against him with her back to his front and Anna the little minx settled in there like she had never been gone. His eyes widened slightly as the consequences of having her near made themselves immediately known. He was 72 years old for Christ sake. Why was it ONLY with her that it had happened in the last 30 years. He smiled inwardly as he resolved that she would just have to stay there while he fought the battle with his libido. She went to move away at that moment but his grip tightened imperceptibly on her hips and she stilled.
Benny and Frida did not hang around, it was clear that they wanted to spend uninterrupted time alone and Anna thought that she owed them that so she didn't let Bjorn monopolise Benny's time by talking about work or ABBA. She offered coffee with a smile knowing that they would not accept. Bjorn let her go in time for them to say goodbye and she said to Frida that she would text her later. "Benny, make sure she goes in the back seat and that she can't be seen until you get away from the estate" she reminded him."Don't forget no one knows she's in the country yet, it's probably better to keep it that way for as long as possible" Benny had not considered this and was glad that Anna had reminded him. "I will" he promised. "Go on!!" Anna encouraged laughing. "Make the most of it, I shall be wanting her back soon" "No chance Little One" Benny winked. "You had her all of last week, besides you have Bjorn to look after you while she's gone" Frida hugged her and said. "Seriously though, if you need me call me, I'll check in with you and I'll definitely see you Sunday if not before" "Sunday!! and NOT before" said Anna firmly. Bjorn and Anna watched while they got into the truck, Frida in the back seat as Anna instructed and Anna waved as they left.
She knew that Bjorn would feel a little awkward so she grabbed his hand and dragged him back indoors shutting the door carefully. "Can we go for that walk now? Will you mind coming with me? I can't go on my own" she asked quietly "You don't even have to ask Anna, where do you want to go?" he asked. "Well, now you're here I can walk to the beach house and I might be able to walk a little on the beach. I'd like that. It's been a long time since I've walked on the beach. Would that be ok?" It saddened him a little that she wasn't sure of her reception. "Of course, I can't think of anything I'd like more right at this moment" he said gently. Her smile was huge as she regarded him happily. "Thank you" she said seriously. She rummaged in the cupboard in the hall and came out with a bright red thick wool poncho and some furry boots. Bjorn lifted an eyebrow "I feel the cold now" she explained. "It might be windy on the beach, but I love the wind and the sea" Bjorn smiled and commented "I remember, it's nice to know that other things haven't changed" She carried her boots and poncho into the kitchen and settled on a chair to put her boots on. Bjorn collected his coat off the back of the chair and turned his phone off for a bit. He didn't want this walk to be interrupted by anyone. He wanted to use the opportunity to talk with her. If he was only going to have today then he wanted to make the most of it. He was sure that he would be back at Vallentuna by tomorrow but he knew his heart would always be here with her. He sighed and looked up from his reverie to see that she was struggling to get her boots on. He frowned as he realised she was out of breath. "Let me help you" he said and he moved to her side and knelt in front of her to help her pull her boots on. He got the job done quickly and couldn't hide the fact that he had enjoyed having an excuse to touch her amazing legs and said so. He looked up and was alarmed to see she had tears in her eyes. "Baby, what's wrong?" he questioned urgently. Anna sniffed and said "Bjorn, I'm so old that I can't even put my boots on for myself, what on earth am I thinking telling you I'll sing again? I'm too old, I'm past it. Frida sounds amazing and you and Benny haven't been affected by time. Me? I'm a total mess. I don't even know if I can sing. I can't breathe enough to put my boots on" her words ended on a small wail and Bjorn's heart hurt for her. "Anna baby, you can sing. It's in your heart and it's in your soul. I have so much faith in you. You CAN do this and I'll be right beside you all the way. We have all been affected by time but not in any way that matters darling" he wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "I can't Bjorn. I have nothing left, I'm old and certainly not anyone's girl with the golden hair anymore!" She sniffed inelegantly and wiped her nose with the back of her hand like a child and Bjorn found it ridiculously endearing. He stood up and did the one thing he always had done when she was upset. He picked her up out of her chair and held her so they were nose to nose and she had no choice but to look at him. "Anna?" he growled at her gently. She met his eyes and smiled a little as she did what she knew he was demanding. She lifted her legs and tightened them round his waist and held on. "Now that I have your full attention, let me tell you something. You will ALWAYS be my golden girl. You always have been and you always will be. You have a voice that's soaked in miracles baby. Those miracles might be a bit different and they may need a little practice but they ARE there. Benny and I haven't written the songs yet. We tried but he needed Frida and I NEED you. We both need you two to write. You are our muses. We might fuck up yet too. You're not the only one with worries." Anna opened her mouth to remonstrate with him, they could never fuck up music. "Hush baby, let me finish." he begged gently. "You think you're old and past it? If you really are then how come it is every single time I'm near you my non existent libido goes crazy hmm? Today I had to hold you in front of me to hide my predicament and I couldn't let you move until I got it under control. Baby you don't realise, I'm 72 years old! Men my age just don't have reactions like that and I HAVEN'T for more years than I can even remember! Look at me Anna!" She lifted her eyes again to meet his. "The only reason that it's happening is that I'm with you again, I'm around YOU and it's just the effect you have on me" "But I'm old Bjorn" Anna protested. "I'm fat, wrinkly and OLD" He hefted her gently in his arms "Baby, remember that discussion we had the other day when you got irate when you were told Lena thought I was fat? You defended me and said I was beautiful?" "But you ARE" Anna said vehemently. "Do you remember what I said?" Bjorn overrode her " I said that you see me through the eyes of love. Baby it's the same for me. You will always be the most beautiful girl in the world to me. ALWAYS!" He squeezed her a bit harder to make his point. "It doesn't matter to me how old you are, how fat you think you are, which you're not by the way. You weigh less than you did when we got married" he added firmly. "It doesn't matter to me how grey you are or how wrinkly you think you are I just LOVE you" he finished on a groan. She buried her face in his neck and mumbled "I love you too, I'm sorry" "Anna, I've spent decades without you and I've had long enough to think about it all so let's just live it hmm?" he whispered in her ear. She nodded into his neck and he sighed in relief. "Want me to carry you?" he asked more than half seriously. She giggled and said "I think you can't carry me all that way, maybe on the way back I'll let you" "I carried you when you were pregnant! he said indignantly "you were much bigger then, especially with Linda" "God yes. That's right. I WAS huge" "You were" agreed Bjorn laughing "and I still couldn't control myself around you" Anna blushed crimson and said "I remember" "and it was the same the second time around with Christian so it seems you are just the only one that does it for me" he grinned and kissed her hard. He proceeded to carry her through the kitchen, out of the back door and down the steps. He finally put her down at the bottom of the steps and went back up them to make sure the door was shut.
He jogged back down the steps and took hold of her hand firmly and they set off through the garden at a much slower pace than the last time for Bjorn had remembered snippets of conversation and observations that she wasn't as fit as she once was and he did not want to draw attention to it again. They walked through the garden in a companionable silence each going over the unexpectedly heartfelt conversation that they had just had and finding comfort in it. Before they knew it they were right down at the beach house and Anna opened the doors. "I love it down here" she sighed "I love the peace and the view" "It is lovely" Bjorn agreed and he wasn't just talking about the sea view or the beach house. "Can we sit for a while?" Anna asked. She indicated the sofa and the open doors which meant that they were practically sat on the beach. "I want to talk to you and this seems as good a place as any" "Of course, I'd hoped to talk with you today as well" Bjorn said neutrally. Anna went off to fetch the blanket off the bed and sat next to Bjorn on the sofa. Bjorn helped her to sort the blanket out around her and then decided he wanted to be under there with her so sat up to sort it all out again which made her giggle. Bjorn chuckled and pulled her tightly into his side and said "I have some questions I need to ask you" Anna's heart started pounding a little and she unconsciously braced herself. "How did you know I was in trouble yesterday Anna?" She relaxed against him. "Because Emma and Anna came here really early this morning and told me absolutely everything that happened last night with you three and Lena." Bjorn was absolutely gobsmacked. He did not know what he had been expecting but it wasn't that. "Why would they do that?" he asked dazedly. "Because they love you, because they knew I would find you and they didn't know where you were, because they were worried and they want you to be happy" she told him gently. "They didn't hide anything Bjorn. They told Christian and I all of it. Once they started they couldn't stop" Bjorn looked absolutely heartbroken."It wasn't a conversation they were supposed to hear. I didn't KNOW they were in the house" he was anguished. Anna gripped his hand tightly "I didn't know some of it myself, she fucking knew I was coming back to you. She did it on purpose, she never wanted either of them." Bjorn was tearing himself to pieces in front of her and she soothed him as best she could. "I love them Anna, with everything I have but my god what did I ever do to deserve such despicable treatment? If it had been you treating me like that I would have understood. I ruined your life" Anna hushed him gently. This was not her story. "She played on my deepest fears of getting it wrong again, she played on your post natal depression after Christian and my fear of not recognising it again. I protected them the best I could Anna. I didn't go off round the world like she tells everyone, I went to England when it was the last thing on earth I wanted to do! Little Anna WASN'T a mistake. She was not planned but definitely NOT a mistake! What must they think of me?" Now he was the one who was crying and devastated. "It was never enough"
"What they think of you is that your the best father they could ever have. What they think is that you did the best job ever and they know you protected them from Lena and you took the brunt of it instead. They sat here and bravely told me everything and then do you know what your two amazing girls did? They apologised to me that you couldn't come back to me sooner. They said they were grown now and your job was done. They said you'd given them all of you and they wanted to give you something back." Bjorn was looking at her like a bomb had gone off underneath him. "They came to plead your case for me to give you a chance to make it up to me. They came to tell me that they wouldn't ever listen to what Lena says about me and that they would never ever turn against you. They are well aware that it's your deepest fear. They want you to be happy and for some reason they think that's going to happen with me" Bjorn's poor battered heart could take no more and he broke down and sobbed in Anna's arms.
A long time later after the storm had passed and they were sat comfortably with Bjorn's head on her lap and she was stroking his hair she said quietly "I told them that there was no debt to repay, that you would lay down your life for them all. I told them that you had made the only decision you could and it was the right one. You had to make sure that they were loved. I also told them that they didn't need to plead your case with me" Bjorn tensed and opened his mouth to protest. She placed her small hand gently over his mouth and continued "I told them they didn't need to because there hasn't been a moment in the last 50 years when I haven't loved you, even when I thought I hated you I loved you. I told them that you were my heartbeat and nothing had ever changed." She looked down as his hand pulled hers away from his mouth.
"Love you baby" he said as her tears fell for both of them.
