Miles away across the city Bjorn battled with a mountain of paperwork for Mamma Mia in London but his mind was not really on it. His mind was definitely split in many different directions but paperwork was not one of them. That was an excuse to shut himself away in his office. His mind drifted back to the horrendous argument that Lena had unleashed upon him when he got home after his day with Linda and Christian. He had wondered afterwards how he had been so blind. Why had he allowed himself to be pushed this far? Why did he put up with this constant stream of vitriol? This wasn't supposed to be how his life panned out. He knew that his wife hate his eldest children, her attitude to them had surely changed very soon after their marriage and she had made their lives unpleasant but he had done his level best to shield them from the worst of it. It had been a long running tension in their marriage, Bjorn's insistence that he would be involved in his elder children's lives did not go down well with Lena and it had only worsened when she'd had first Emma then Anna. She could not understand his equal love for all of them. Bjorn had realised much later that it wasn't just the children that she was jealous of, she was jealous of the link that they represented to Agnetha. He sighed as the memories kept coming even though he didn't want them too. He remembered when Lena had decided that they should go to England and live. She had said that she couldn't stand being in the public eye anymore and she found it stressful living in Sweden where she was always going to be known for being the one that broke up ABBA's golden couple. She wanted him to herself. Wanting to learn lessons from the past and avoid the same mistakes he'd made with Anna he had agreed despite worrying about the effect it would have on his older children and Agnetha. He had reassured himself that they would visit in all the holidays and he had spoken to them at length with Anna before he had left and everyone had seemed fine with it. His mind latched on to something Linda had said about the phonecall. He had no knowledge of this and something about it bothered him he resolved to speak to Linda about it when he saw her next. His general mood was grim today he recognised. He had so much going on, so much work. He worked hard to keep his mind from dwelling on the past, the present and the future. He knew that. He couldn't undo his mistakes from the past, he hated the life he had now and he couldn't think about his future when he knew it would be more of the same. More bitterness, more arguing, more being made to choose between his children and grandchildren. He dreaded it. He made a sudden decision. He picked up the phone and rang Benny. He tapped his fingers impatiently as he waited. "Hello?" came Benny's voice. "Benny? It's Bjorn, could you do with some company tonight?" "God, your timing is perfect. I really could mate, I've got a houseful of Mona and her friends squawking over clothes and boozing, I'm upstairs. Been told to stay out of the way" Bjorn frowned as he realised his best friend did actually sound really depressed. "Can I come there?" Benny asked. "No I don't want to be here" replied Bjorn. "I don't want to be out in public" objected Benny. "No, me neither. Let's go to Vallentuna" Bjorn suggested, pleased with the inspiration that struck him. "God, yes. I'd forgotten about Vallentuna. Has it got anything there?" "Like what?" asked Bjorn confused. "Food Alcohol?" prompted Benny amused. "I don't remember. I haven't been able to go for so long. Lena has been really difficult lately. I'll bring some supplies" said Bjorn."I will also, between us it should be enough" agreed Benny. "I'll meet you there" said Bjorn.
He locked his office and headed up to the kitchen where he quickly packed some food, some wine and a bottle of whiskey he'd forgotten he had. Luckily Lena was at that time on the phone to one of her many friends and by the time she came into the kitchen Bjorn had already put that bag in the car. Bjorn was just grabbing his keys and wallet. "Where do you think you're going?" Lena demanded in an aggressive tone. "Out" was Bjorn's curt answer "No you're not" snapped Lena. Bjorn turned slowly to face Lena and his eyebrow raised. "I beg your pardon?" his voice was deceptively mild. Lena did not heed the warning, she have known it well. "I said no!" she repeated "You're not to go out at this time of night, I won't allow it" Bjorn leant against the kitchen counter and crossed his ankles. He was dangerously angry but he did not allow it to show. "Lena, when do I ever tell you that you cannot go out? You are out with your myriad of friends nearly every night of the week. You have people over here the other nights. You're out to lunch every day, you shop every day. I am going to spend what's left of my evening with Benny. You have been on the phone for the last 2 hours and before that you ate out. You do not like for me to see my eldest children and my grandchildren, now you are telling me, a 72 year old adult when I can go out?" He uncrossed his ankles and walked towards the kitchen island and leaned on it looking straight at Lena. Suddenly she could not meet his eyes. " I don't know quite how I've allowed this to happen Lena but I've had a wake up call. I will not tolerate being told what I can do, where I can go and who I can see anymore. Especially not when it concerns Benny and my children. I hope that I have made myself clear. I do not know when I will be back. I am sure you will not mind the house to yourself. You don't normally." he was quiet and to the point and Lena knew that she had pushed it too far. "I suggest that you go back to what you were doing before I say something I regret" Lena could not deny that everything he said was right. She loved the kudos and the freedom that being Bjorn's wife gave her. She resented his older children for having any claim on him, she always had. She frowned darkly and said "I am your wife Bjorn. You should listen to me." "Isn't it convenient that you've remembered now that you are my wife?" Bjorn commented acidly "you haven't for years, you just like my name and my wallet. I've listened to you for too long and I've caused untold damage in my children by doing so. Enjoy your evening Lena" he turned on his heel and left the house. Lena was left dumbfounded. He had not stood up to her for years!
Benny meanwhile did not have any such battle. Mona was busy with her friends, she never even considered that he would do anything but stay upstairs. She had told him so many times that he was useless and people didn't want to hear his music anymore. She had loved it in the early days of their marriage but it hadn't taken her long before she had got bored with his devotion to music, bored with his quietness. He was not the man that his public persona showed. He was entirely different to how she had imagined but she would hold onto him. She enjoyed the money and the notoriety of being the woman who tamed the wild Benny. The fact that in private he was nothing like that didn't bother her in the slightest. She never missed a chance to put him down or make him feel less than he was and as he had got older this was easier and easier to do. Benny just packed a bag full of supplies and a change of clothes and walked out of the house. He didn't look for her, he could hear her boozing with her friends, he didn't leave a note. He just got into his car and drove away. It took him 40 odd minutes to get to Vallentuna and park outside Bjorn's house. It had not changed much, except for a set of gates on the driveway. They were high. He could not see Bjorn's car yet so he sat back to wait. He had a wry smile to himself. How ironic he thought, that he and Bjorn were back to where it all really began. Full circle if you like. A little house in Vallentuna that held so many happy memories for both of them, for all of them. A place that they now found themselves running to for refuge. He was interrupted from his thoughts by a car pulling up beside him. He could see that it was Bjorn. Bjorn indicated that they should go in and he pressed a button that he had on his keyfob. The gates started to open and he pulled into the drive closely followed by Benny. Bjorn must have then pressed the button on the fob for the gates slid quietly shut and locked as Benny and Bjorn got out of their respective cars. "What's with the gates Bjorn?" asked Benny. "Surely no one knows when you are here" "Exactly Benny. I don't want anyone to see when I am here. The gates stop anyone seeing the cars" He didn't need to tell Benny that Lena would raise hell of she knew of Vallentuna and it's purpose. Benny knew that he had primarily bought it back so he could see the kids and grandchildren without rancour. He hadn't been here himself for years but he also knew that Bjorn sometimes used it as a bolt hole when things got unbearable at home. Bjorn suddenly hugged him tightly "it's good to see you Benny, it really is" Benny cleared his throat, touched by Bjorn's statement and returned the hug fiercely. "Likewise Bjorn" his voice cracked a little. "Let's get indoors" said Bjorn. "I could do with a drink"
Bjorn opened the front door and turned the light on and immediately he felt calmer, this place had quite the effect on him. It would always be his family home and he felt comfortable here. Benny was fascinated. It didn't seem to him that much had changed, the people that had bought it from Bjorn had obviously approved of his and Agnetha's taste in decorating, or quite possibly they were ardent ABBA fans he thought ruefully. Whatever the reason it was a somewhat bizarre feeling to feel that he had gone back in time more than 40 years but he couldn't deny he liked it.
He followed Bjorn as he strode through to the kitchen, Bjorn unpacked his bag of goodies and Benny unpacked his. They chuckled. They seemed to have a lot of alcohol between them. Benny had done well with savoury foods and a packet of coffee. Fortunately Bjorn had bought milk and sweet stuff. "Well, all things considered that's not a bad selection, if a little random" Bjorn stated. He shrugged off his jacket and threw it on the chair and Benny followed suit. They poured themselves a large drink each and Bjorn rummaged in the freezer for ice. Benny sorted out food and came up with a cold buffet board of sorts. They carried it through to the living room and put it all on the coffee table. Bjorn went to the record player and picked out Benny's new piano album demo, Anna's A album and Frida's 1865. He put Frida's on 1st and turned to see that Benny had laid down on one of the sofas. He kicked off his shoes and followed Benny's example but on the other sofa. Silence reigned for a good while as they listened to Frida's voice soar effortlessly through 1865. They both told themselves that they needed to hear the changes in the girls voices so they could work with them, to a certain extent it was true but they just wanted to enjoy listening to them. When it had finished Benny said into the silence "How did we come to this Bjorn? Two old men wishing for things that can never be." "Arrogance and entitlement my friend. I don't know what we were thinking at the time" Bjorn replied quietly "We got it so wrong" Benny snorted, "fame, guilt, greed, alcohol, arrogant, unappreciative, cocky, you name it it was me" he sighed tiredly. Bjorn had a large sip of his whisky. "You know, I never for one minute thought she'd say yes. Never for a second. Not after all this time." Benny didn't even need to ask who Bjorn was talking about, he shook his head in amazement and agreed with Bjorn."It was a shock to me too when she rang me, I couldn't say a word for what felt like ages" "You've spoken to her too?" asked Bjorn "Yes, Frida was on the phone first. I didn't even know she was in the country but apparently she flew in as soon as Anna called" Bjorn thought for a moment. "Yes, there's something going on there, something doesn't add up. I keep going over and over all the conversations that I've had over the last 4 days and I feel like I'm missing something." he fell silent again as he tried to work it all out. Benny tried to distract him from his melancholy thoughts "Does it matter? Frida had a hand in this and you got to speak to Anna for the first time in how long? She told me she called you. I was absolutely stunned when she told me. It's been so long" Bjorn then proceeded to tell his best friend everything that Linda had said, everything that Christian had said and everything that Anna had said. There were no secrets between him and Benny, there never had been. There was a long silence after Bjorn had finished. He said "I feel like my whole life has changed Benny. I had no idea any of this was going on. No idea at all" Benny smiled gently when he thought of their little blonde one who had the courage of a lion and an unshakable love for Bjorn. All he said was "All these years later after you being a total arsehole, she still has your back. You've got to admire her" "Yeah thanks for the character assassination my friend!" he retorted. He looked at Benny and sighed "but you are too kind, I was much more than an arsehole. You know when I was on the phone to her at Christian's, he cried". "Why?" asked Benny. "He said she didn't engage with many people anymore and he told me I always knew the right thing to say to his Mama. Well I didn't 40 years ago did I??" Benny reached over to give Bjorn a comforting pat. "We both have regrets Bjorn. We have to live with them and ourselves. Maybe this is our chance to at least try and make it up to them by way of music and spend time with them"
They got up for a refill and Bjorn decided to take on the last unspoken issue in the room. "Benny, mate you're out drinking me. What's going on with you? You gave up drinking at this level 25 years ago or more. Tonight is totally understandable. I have every intention of drinking tonight until I can't think any more and there's no one else I'd rather do it with but I see you drink more and more all the time. Have we got another battle on our hands?" Benny's eyes narrowed "I don't want to talk about it" he stomped back to the living room and slumped on the sofa and swallowed half his whisky in one gulp. Bjorn's eyebrows shot up as he watched his friend's retreating back. He'd obviously touched a nerve. He picked up the whisky bottle and took it with him. Now was not the night to lecture Benny. They'd drink until Benny let it go, whatever it was that was bothering him. After 50 years Bjorn knew that he would stand by his friend whatever it was and they'd sort it out. Nothing would shock him that was for sure. Benny and him had been to hell and back again together several times. His eyes took on a determined glint as he followed Benny to the living room. This time he plonked himself next to Benny and topped up Benny's whisky. He sat back and took a healthy slug from his and watched with some degree of concern as Benny finished his in two mouthfuls. He sat forward and topped it up again. "Sometimes I hate it that you know me so well" Benny griped but he still drank it in short order. He filled his glass again and topped up Bjorn's. "Out with it Benny or I'll be passed out before we get anywhere" said Bjorn carefully. "When did we get so old Bjorn?" Benny mused "I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. Mona says I'm old and fat. This is true. She says no one wants to listen to my music anymore. She tells me all the time I'm boring and no one is interested in me. Do you think that's true?" Bjorn was devastated for his friend but not surprised at what Mona had said to him. She always had something mean to say, she would find a way to put him down whenever they went out as a foursome. Bjorn had made the mistake of thinking that it was water off a ducks back for Benny, that it didn't affect him. Clearly he had been wrong. "No Benny. No I don't. Look at all the beautiful music you've created and it's listened to by millions. Look at what we are doing now. Stuff we wrote nearly 50 years ago is still wanted, still needed, still loved. We have hit movies and musicals, we have a group that no matter how hard we tried to kill it refuses to die. Your music reaches through generations and there is more to come. I still have faith in you my friend. Your writer's block will break as soon as you set eyes on your blonde firecracker" he smiled as he referred to Frida. "I can't Bjorn, I asked if I could see her but I can't do it" Now Bjorn was truly alarmed "Why?" he questioned. "Because I'll want too much. I'll want what I can't have and I'll have to face what I did. Because she doesn't want me anymore and even by some miracle she did I can't have her. I don't deserve her" Bjorn tried to comfort him, "We've both made mistakes Benny. This is our chance to make up for them, to rectify them where we can. We have the chance to see them, to work with them. We've never worked with voices as good as theirs and it'll bring us all joy." Benny was quiet for a bit then he said something and Bjorn had to lean close to hear him. "Mona's right. I'm old and fat,useless and disgusting. I drink to block it all out Bjorn. If I can't escape into my music Bjorn it's all I've got." "Benny, you need to see Frida. Go and see her. You'll be fine then and when all four of us are in the same room the music will flow. I'll help you too, you were so ill the last time you gave up drinking I don't want that for you mate" "Bjorn, I can't see Frida. I'd have to admit to her how useless I really am now. I want her and I can't have her" "Well I think you should see her and let her make that decision" opined Bjorn carefully. The effects of the whisky were taking hold now. He watched as Benny downed another shot of whisky " Bjorn, even if she did, there's nothing I can do about it as Mona says I'm totally useless now. How would you feel if you had to tell Anna you couldn't have sex anymore? When you can answer me that question I'll listen to you".
