The early evening bought with it more rain and unseasonably cold winds. Bjorn was glad that he had lit the fire. He and Anna had put away the mountain of groceries that had arrived from a trusted company of Anna's and he had indeed been shocked by the amount of food and the bill that accompanied it. He was equal parts amused and horrified when Anna told him it would all be gone by this time next week. She explained that they always had Sunday dinner all together and the kids were in and out of the house through the week and they were at the age where they were starving all the time. She told him that she would spend next week cooking and refilling the freezers with food as the week after was her chemotherapy and she wouldn't be up to cooking or preparing stuff. He was fascinated with her lists of what she would cook and when. He was delighted to find that she had included his favourites both on the cooking list and the order she had put in. He knew that she had ordered some of the things just for him because some of them he knew she hated such as olives and anchovies. He was touched that she had remembered. He watched Anna put 8 pizzas in the ovens and a mountain of garlic dough balls for she knew that Linda would be home soon with the kids and Jens, Christian, Isabel and Nike were still here too. Bjorn took it upon himself to whip up an enormous salad and lay the table. "I have some meetings next week baby that I can't get out of but can I help you with all this cooking you're planning? I'd love to you know." He grinned and said "I want to get back into practice so I can cook too. I'll need to when you and Frida are gallivanting about taking singing lessons, Grandad has to step up and hold the fort while Granny plays" he winked teasingly. To his utter surprise Anna turned to him after a moment with tears in her eyes "Bjorn, I'm so scared, what if I really, really can't do it? Who am I without my voice? My voice always defined me, it gave me my identity." she looked devastated. Bjorn had no hesitation in saying "Anna, you are not defined by your voice, your voice is part of you but it isn't all of you. You are defined by your children, your grandchildren, what you have built here." he paused and brushed her fringe out of her eyes "Here you have built a place where we all are safe and we all want to come back to at the end of the day. You are the glue that holds us all together and there are not many people who can say they've been loved for 50 years baby" Her demons were circling her and doing their best to gain a hold."Bjorn, I'm a total failure. I've been married twice and failed twice. The world thinks I'm a whore, I never slept with all those people the press said I did. Even you managed 36 years with Lena. That's more than I've ever managed with anyone. I'm not a whore" she sniffled "I live behind walls and gates because of my bad decisions, that's what defines me" Bjorn frowned grimly "Anna stop it. Our marriage broke down because of BOTH of us not just you. It was my bad decisions that led to that not yours. It was my bad decisions that kept me away from you all these years and my cowardice. Our marriage breakdown was not only your fault baby. It took two of us but we are fixing it now. The only reason I managed 36 years is because of the girls, not because I loved Lena. Far from it! Then when the girls were grown I gave up. All I wanted was you and I wasn't brave enough to come and get you. I define you too, like you define me". He was thinking rapidly "What I wish I had done was grabbed my courage and my girls and camped on your doorstep until you took us in but I didn't because I didn't feel like I deserved you after what I did and I didn't think it was fair to present you with Lena's children when you had wanted them so much" Anna's nerves were calming "I wish you had Bjorn, I wanted you. I would have accepted you and loved them like they were my own and loved you too" she said quietly "Benny said that you know, he said you would have done, but you're doing it now" he reminded her. "That other marriage you talk about? That wasn't and isn't a marriage, it's not even a relationship" he spat "I don't consider it to be a failure on your part Anna. I consider that to be self preservation, protecting the kids and doing what you had to do. No matter what you think that wasn't a failure Anna, that was tantamount to.." he was interrupted by her hand on his mouth "I get your point Bjorn, you've done what you set out to do. I feel better. We don't need to talk of him" she said firmly and gratefully. Bjorn could always pull her away from her demons. He took her hand away from his mouth gently and said "I need to say this Anna and then we don't need to speak of it again ever and I do mean ever." She acquiesced and waited to hear what he would say. "I wish I could wipe him from your mind baby and I can only try my best to do so but you need to know that as far as I'm concerned he doesn't exist. He never did and therefore you only have one marriage to concern yourself with and that is ours!" He was forceful in his speech and was gripping her arm firmly. "As for the press reports, I couldn't care less Anna. I know the truth and you know the truth as do the kids and that's ALL that matters. Anna, I KNOW that you are not, nor have you ever been a whore. You're mine, you belong to me and you always have. We just forgot that for a bit" She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck before lifting herself up his body. He helped her wrap her legs around him and they took comfort from each other as she buried her face in his neck. "Thank you" she whispered. He rocked her gently and stroked her hair "Thank YOU" he echoed gently "for having me back" "Bjorn, it's all I've ever really wanted" was her reply.
It wasn't long after he had finally put her down that the gate alarm sounded and he went to look at the screens. He could see Linda waving at the cameras as Jens drove in. Bjorn couldn't deny that he felt nervous, so much had happened in the fortnight that Linda had been gone and maybe she wouldn't want him here. He didn't know but this was just another thing that he had to face and it should have happened years ago. He took a deep breath and followed Anna who was running to get to their daughter regardless of the rain. He watched as Linda hopped out of the truck and raced to meet her Mama on the drive. The hug they shared was massive and tears were shed. Linda wiped her eyes and looked up at Bjorn who was still stood on the porch unsure of his welcome. She realised that he might be struggling so went running up the steps and flung herself at her Papa. Bjorn caught her easily "Oh Papa!! What took you so long?? I love you and I'm so pleased to see you here. Mama looks amazing!! What have you done to her??" she asked through her tears. She hadn't let him go yet and he was grateful for her easy acceptance, it sounded like she had been waiting for him to come. He hugged her tightly and said "You don't mind?" "Mind Papa?? NO!! Never, I've been waiting for you two to come to your senses for 38 years!! Thank god you're back" she told him "You won't leave us?" Bjorn tightened his hug and whispered "Never baby girl. I'll never leave any of you again" he felt her need for reassurance and gave her all the time she needed. Eventually she loosened her grip and sniffled, by which time everyone else had trooped in out of the rain leaving Bjorn and his daughter to make their peace. When they wandered in Bjorn was engulfed in grandchildren and Jens hugging him and shaking his hand furiously. He answered the million questions the children had until Linda showed mercy and stepped in saying "You know the important bits guys, Grandad is here to stay and he loves Granny, he loves us and that's all that matters" With that everybody subsided and settled round the table eating pizza. Christian and Isabel were also with them and Nike was in tow. The cacophony was tremendous and Bjorn loved it. He had Signe and Esther on his lap and Tilda snuggled next to him.
He looked up to try and catch Anna's eye and he saw her in close conversation with Linda and Linda was looking distressed, he saw Anna pull her up and take her into the other room. He looked at Jens and Jens just smiled. His own demons chased him then as all manner of negative thoughts crowded his mind. He tried to keep his mind focused on what was going on around him but it was fair to say that his eye was never far from that door and he only relaxed a bit when he saw them come out. His disquiet returned when he saw that both Anna and Linda were a little tearstained and ruffled but as his eyes zeroed in on Anna's face he was confused to see that despite the clear evidence of tears her eyes were glowing with happiness, he swung his gaze to Linda and she looked happy too and maybe a bit relieved. He frowned at Anna in question and she smiled at him reassuringly. He watched her mouth "It's Ok" straight at him. He had to trust her and so he allowed his mind to settle. He would find out later. Linda joined back in with the party atmosphere and made her way over to Bjorn. She gestured for Tilda to move over and she sat next to him, pulling Tilda back towards her. Christian told Anna to sit next to Bjorn and he plunked Nike onto her lap. Anna made a grab for the baby to stop her sliding and was squished up against Bjorn. She grinned as she looked at him. "It's a madhouse! Are you ok?" "I haven't been this happy in decades Anna" he told her truthfully as Signe and Esther lay snuggled into him. Christian said "Photo time people, Papa and his girls" he laughed joyously as he readied his phone to take a picture. Anna and Bjorn both looked up and laughed into the camera as did Linda and the girls. It was a heaven sent moment. It would make a beautiful photo for Anna's wall he reflected.
It was getting late by now and Bjorn could see that everyone was tiring, Christian, Isabel and Nike were going to sleep at the beach house tonight and take Nike's travel cot down. Bjorn assumed it was because of the big family get together tomorrow and there didn't seem to be much point in going home. Anna told them all to come for breakfast in the morning around 9 as she was sure they were all tired from their holiday. Jens took their kids back home and Bjorn did not miss the wink that he sent in Linda's direction or the blushed response. He smiled inwardly, he really liked Jens. It didn't take long before it was just Anna and Linda left after a muddle of hugs and kisses and yelled goodbyes.
He leant forward and picked up the remainder of his wine and said "You two care to tell me what's going on? You've obviously sent Jens home with the kids for a reason" he prompted Linda smiled gently and said "I have something to tell you Papa, Mama knows but only just tonight. I've been feeling really ill for a couple of months, I've been backwards and forwards to the doctors and they originally said it was the menopause. I'm 44 years old" Bjorn sat forward thoroughly worried now "What's wrong with you?" he asked sharply. "Well it seems I don't have the menopause Papa, my crying all over you in the cafe was not menopausal mood swings. It was pregnancy hormones"
Bjorn was dumbstruck and silent for a moment and then his heart expanded. "Oh Linda, that's wonderful news!!" He got up to hug her and he could see Anna wiping away happy tears as she sat watching them. "Is it safe darling? At your age?" he asked concerned " Well, I'm under an increased level of care but I've made it to 12 weeks on my own, without knowing I was pregnant Papa. I thought I was past all that. It's a happy accident though Papa. I want the baby desperately" she said tearfully. "I'm scared I'm too old though" At that point Anna got up and wrapped her daughter in her arms "Linda, you'll be fine darling. You have all of us too. I'm always here, Papa's great with babies. Jens loves you. Christian will start to build soon so we will all be here. You're an amazing Mama and this time will be no different. You're young yet." Anna was robust with her reassurances. Bjorn joined them and wrapped his arms around both of them. "This is a miracle" he said emotionally "this is the best news Linda, your Mama is right. We are all here if you need us. Your own little miracle! I couldn't be happier. He felt like his chest would burst with sheer joy and gratitude. "Papa, I do need you to do something for me" Linda said quietly. "Anything Linda. What is it?" he asked "I can't take Mama for her body scan, I can't go in there when I'm pregnant because of the radiation and the magnetisation. I'm sorry Mama" she burst into tears. "I wanted to finish this journey with you and I can't. I'm letting you down" Anna was horrified and said "Linda, you've done more for me than you ever should have had to. Of course you can't endanger the baby!! You have no reason to feel guilty! You've never, ever let me down and you haven't now" Anna reassured her. Bjorn interjected with "I'm taking her Linda. It's my turn. I'm taking the weight off you, Frida and Christian. Your Mama has agreed to let me take her to chemo the week after next and I'll take her to the scan, you don't have to worry" Linda looked shocked "Mama is that true? You're letting him help you?" Anna just nodded and Linda burst into tears again. She knew that this really meant Papa was here to stay if Anna trusted him enough to take her to chemo. Both Anna and Bjorn were alarmed and tried to console her but she waved them away and wailed "I'm just soooo happy" Bjorn rolled his eyes laughingly and said "Pregnancy hormones, just like her mother" Anna burst out laughing and had no choice but to agree, she had been horrendous, especially in the early months. "Linda, listen to me darling, I want to take your mother, I need to take your mother do you understand? I need to be part of her fight. You and Christian have done an amazing job this last year and as your Papa I'm so proud and grateful but you are both tired and your mother is aware of it and now you have to let me step up because all Mama really wants is you and the baby to be healthy. The baby comes first for you and your Mama comes first with me for this." He looked at Anna to find her nodding in agreement. "Linda get rid of the idea that you are letting me down. You aren't. You'd be letting me down by not looking after you and that miracle you have cooking in there, besides the smells in the hospital always made me heave when I was pregnant!" Anna made a face at the memory. She put her arms around Linda and said "It's ok my darling girl, relax. I'm in good hands . You're done with this now, you've done your bit" "Are you sure Mama? I feel so guilty" Linda said wretchedly. "Linda, there isn't any guilt to be had. None. So please get that thought out of your head. We are all tired, we can talk about it in the morning ok?" Linda nodded relieved "I'll tell everyone else tomorrow, I'm past the 12 week mark, Jens knows obviously" she shared "Then that's something to look forward to" commented Anna happily. Her eyes sparkled as she looked forward to tomorrow. Linda yawned widely and Anna went to turn the yard lights on and said "Bjorn can you walk sleepyhead here home? I'll watch you. Linda, I love you. Sleep now and we'll chat more in the morning. There's so much to look forward to tomorrow" she gave Linda a last hug and shooed her out with Bjorn. She watched them walk across the yard chatting and then watched them say goodnight before Bjorn jogged back. He clattered up the steps and slammed the door behind him. He made sure it was locked and then with no warning whatsoever he picked Anna up making her squeal with surprise. He kissed her thoroughly and hugged her so tightly she protested laughing. She saw his eyes change and saw them twinkle happily. " Bjorn what are you planning?" she asked suspiciously. "Bjorn..." Her words ended on another squeal as Bjorn hefted her over his shoulder and went up the stairs with her. She dissolved into helpless giggles as she wrapped her arms round his waist and held on. Her attention was diverted by her close proximity to his arse and couldn't resist a quick pinch. She heard him laugh and felt him twitch and then her eyes widened as she felt his palm move to her arse "Careful baby" he warned laughing "I'm in control of yours" she subsided giggling. They used to do this a lot she reflected happily. They were in the bedroom now and Bjorn lifted her down carefully mindful of her cannula. "Are you tired baby?" he asked "No, not if you're going to do what I'm hoping you'll do" she said contentedly. Bjorn huffed out a surprised laugh and suddenly dropped to his knees in front of her. Surprised she cradled his head as he wound his arms around her waist and leant his head on her breasts. She was alarmed to feel tears soaking through her shirt. "Bjorn what's WRONG?" She demanded worriedly. "Nothing, it's just too much. It's everything I've ever wanted, everything I've dreamed of for 40 years. I couldn't bear to lose it all again. Thank you for giving me life Anna. Thank you for being brave enough to take a chance on me" Anna's heart broke for him, she understood perfectly where he was coming from. She felt the same and told him so. She sat on the end of the bed and shuffled Bjorn between her legs. She absent-mindedly began to run her fingers through his hair calming him. "Someone wrote a song like that once" she mused and without thinking about it she softly sang that song while attempting to ease Bjorn's mind. He didn't dare move for he wasn't sure if she knew what she was doing. It was the first time he'd heard her voice naked since they recorded "The Day Before You Came" and he was enthralled with its rough beauty. She was inadvertently allaying all his fears. His Anna could still sing, she could. Her vocal cords were not damaged. She hadn't done any preparation, or even had a drink and still by the time she got to the second verse she had ironed the kinks out as it were and he thought she sounded sublime. He didn't move till she'd finished and when she did he sat back and said "No worries there then, that's the most beautiful I've ever heard you sound baby. Thank you" she sparkled at him happily. She stood and undressed right there in front of his face with a confidence that astounded him and she even helped him to undress. Anna was calling the shots tonight and he loved it. His mind settled and cleared as he focused on her.
Anna was the demon slayer that night as she chased away every single one of Bjorn's like he did for her. When she was done, he was exhausted, shaky and grateful and his demons were purged. The last thing he heard before sleep claimed him in her embrace was "More miracles to come baby. Hold on tight"
