Anna woke drenched in sweat and absolutely sure she had wet the bed, it was pouring off her but her attention was diverted by the fact that she had actually been asleep and she was cuddled tightly in Bjorn's arms, that had never happened before. Remembering what Bjorn had been like when she hadn't woken him the last time she was poorly she woke him gently and said "Bjorn thank you for letting me sleep but I've wet the bed, I'm so sorry I'm drenched" ready tears came to her eyes and flowed down her cheeks "I told you it was awful, you shouldn't have to put up with this" He was instantly awake and responding to her distress. "Anna baby it's ok darling, these things happen. If you've never slept through chemo you couldn't know how it would affect you. Let's see what we need to do. He got off the bed and went round to her side to help her to stand. As he pulled her up he could feel she was soaked in sweat and she was flushing terribly, he frowned as he looked at the bed and patted it "Baby, you haven't wet the bed I absolutely promise you, you're just sweating a lot darling. It must feel like you've wet the bed but look you haven't" he turned her gently knowing that this was crucial to her mental state "Feel it baby, you haven't wet the bed. Even if you had it wouldn't matter to me. Trust me baby." He made her look at him "TRUST me" he repeated gently. She touched the bed and met his eyes, she felt his jeans "I do Bjorn. God I thought I'd wet myself" she wiped her eyes "I have enough indignity as it is without losing control of my bladder as well" she sighed "I'm all wet and sticky though. Yuk. I'm sorry Bjorn, I woke you again" He pushed the button for the nurse and helped Anna to sit in the chair. "What did you call the nurse for?" he didn't get chance to answer as the nurse came in so instead he asked "Anna is having a hot flush can she have a shower? She's uncomfortably sticky" "Oh of course. I'll just change your drip to a waterproof one Miss Faltskog, I'll go and get it now" "I didn't know you could do that, it sounds wonderful" Anna breathed."Will the drip stay on?" "Yes, you'll lose no time" the nurse reassured her kindly "Would you like me to help you" Bjorn saw Anna recoil "That's very kind of you but I'll help her thank you" Bjorn told her and his heart hiccuped as he spied Anna's hastily hidden look of relief, she trusted him for this. He breathed an inward sigh of relief, they waited while the nurse changed the drip connector and reconnected the bag, securing it tightly and then putting it on a mobile stand then left them to it saying as she left to push the button if they needed anything at all. Bjorn debated for a moment and then went after her, Anna wasn't sure what was going on so she sat still and waited for Bjorn to come back and he was back momentarily with an armful of blue material which he dumped on the bed . She frowned in confusion but was distracted by Bjorn pulling her gently to her feet and leading her into the bathroom. " You want to undress or do you need help?" "I can do it today. Maybe not tomorrow, you could sit with me though?" she sounded hopeful "I will" he said gently as he went through to work out how the shower functioned, he got it running and up to temperature then left her in the bathroom. He went out to rummage in his bag and then went to collect her clothes, he took them out to the nurse who said she'd put them on to wash right away. He thought it would be nice for Anna to have fresh clothes to put on and he added a change of clothes to the list for tomorrow in his mind. When he came back he flicked the screen to closed on the door and locked it carefully having got the nurses approval. He went into the bathroom and found Anna just getting in the shower, he got her to wait and he put the seat down for her to sit on and he pulled the mobile stand as close to the shower as he could which gave Anna and him plenty of manoeuvring room "This is just the start Bjorn and I'm already horrified by what you can see" she whispered. He didn't answer her straight away and she looked up to see him taking his clothes off "What are you DOING?" she squeaked "I can't help you in the shower in my clothes Anna, the screens are down and the door is tightly locked. I've spoken to the nurses and asked them not to disturb us unless there is an emergency. No one will see you but me and in answer to your earlier statement I see NOTHING that horrifies me or disgusts me, I see you. Just you and I love what I see. You belong to me. What I see is my beautiful girl being courageous and stubborn, I want to help you, I need to help you. A shower will be nice and today I don't want you to be alone so you're stuck with me I'm afraid" he told her gently.
With that he stepped into the shower carrying her shampoo and soap from home and a flannel from home too. He gave her the soap and the flannel "Do the bits you can do baby and I will do the rest"
Anna was dumbfounded, this was a new experience for her at chemo, no one had ever told her she could shower with the drip in but then to be fair she couldn't remember if she had ever asked. She looked at the soap and the flannel in her lap and shook her head in bewilderment Bjorn had put a lot of thought into this "I won't smell like hospitals" she whispered gratefully. "Pardon?" Bjorn queried over the sound of the water. Anna raised her voice "I said I won't smell like hospitals, I'll smell like me. Thank you so much Bjorn. You have no idea how much this means" she concentrated on lathering the flannel and did all the bits she could reach and waited patiently while Bjorn gently washed her hair "You must be grateful I don't have hair down past my waist anymore" she joked peacefully "it would be a pain in here" "Oh baby I loved your hair so much, I loved washing it, brushing it, stroking it. It soothed me too you know. I loved it. I missed it very much when you cut it all off. I still miss it" Anna's brow wrinkled in thought "but we were separated when I cut it for the last time" she said "Made no difference, I still missed it" Bjorn grumbled "You did it to take yourself away from me even more" "Maybe a little" Anna admitted "but it was too much of a reminder and I didn't want to look like Lena, everyone kept saying I did and I hated it"
Bjorn grumbled in sympathy, it had been an issue for all of them it seemed "You're nothing like Lena" he reassured her "nothing at all" it was silent in that shower for a while as Anna allowed Bjorn to regain his equilibrium and he washed her hair gently a few times, she realised that he was lost in memories, she also realised that the shower was helping her keep her skin temperature down and that it felt good so she sat quietly and let him do what he needed. She could see the blisters, they had spread down her tummy and her legs were red but she had no self consciousness in that moment. Bjorn moved in front of her and crouched to her level "Ok?" he asked gently "So ok baby" she smiled "Which bits need my attention?" he asked "All of me" she teased "but for now just my feet and my back" his amused snort made her grin "Anna behave yourself" she leaned forward and kissed him "Thank you for this" he returned the kiss with a bit of interest, cleared his throat and got up to do her back. "What's wrong?"Anna asked "Nothing" "There is" she insisted "You pulled away from me" Bjorn frowned a little and she jumped as he put his mouth to her ear and growled "Anna, this isn't the the time or the place for me to have a raging erection now is it?? he demanded" Because that's what's happening right now and it's highly inappropriate for me to be thinking about lifting you off that seat, making you wrap those legs of yours around me, shoving you up against that wall and fucking you until neither of us have any sense left!!! That's what I want to do right now. Does that answer your bloody question baby?? There's nothing wrong except my inappropriate thoughts" Anna was in turn speechless, amused, grateful and surprisingly aroused "I'm in trouble just for a while Anna and I'm sorry" he continued.
"I'm not sorry" Anna said honestly wanting to make him feel better "I love that even with me in this state you are turned on. I LOVE that and for us it isn't inappropriate, it's us" she reassured him "Baby, it's us it's how we've always been and you couldn't have paid me a bigger complement if you'd tried, I'm so happy and much as I'd actually let you do all of that and love every second of it I'm nearly out and they know. They will come" she pointed at her drip "but later at home, let me see how I feel because I can tell you your effect on me is more than equal Bjorn" "Anna, you don't have to say that to make me feel better" he told her quietly, she held out her hands and he pulled her to her feet gently "Now who's being stubborn?" she queried she took their joined hands and forced him to feel her reaction to him. He grinned at her as she said "Don't question my reaction to you again. I really am in the middle of chemo this time, imagine what I'll be like when I'm done"
He chuckled as they got out of the shower and then winced a little as he saw the beginnings of redness and blisters across her back and bottom, he wrapped her gently in a towel and got himself one. She sat on the bed and dried herself. "My clothes are gone" she was confused "Yes, that lovely nurse took them to be washed. I thought you wouldn't want to get back into sweaty clothes, they'll be back washed and dried before we need to go and tomorrow we'll bring more clothes with us" Anna was touched "Thank you, you're right. What will I wear now?" Bjorn picked up the pile of blue material and shook it out "a nice fetching pair of scrubs?" he grinned Anna laughed and held her hands out for it "Perfect baby" he helped her feed the bag through her sleeve and put the top on then crouched down and popped the trousers on her feet and pulled them up her legs. She stood and he pulled them right up for her as she held the bag. He popped the bag back on it's stand and she wheeled it over to look at the DVDs he'd bought "Pick what you want" he said, she turned to see him in his jeans and nothing else and something in her face caught his attention "Anna, please don't look at me like that, have some mercy on an old man. I'll be arrested for indecency in a hospital if you carry on like that" he pleaded "Sorry, it's just....." she waved a hand at him generally. He put his shirt on and said "Exactly" and he waved a despairing hand at her "I might end up with an Anna nurse fetish with you looking like that" he sighed. Anna burst out laughing and her heart expanded as she realised she'd been totally and utterly distracted from her chemo, it was lunch time already and she was so grateful that Bjorn was with her.
