The journey home to Ekero seemed to take forever and Bjorn's heart took a battering at every bump in the road that hurt Anna and every time she was sick. It was like they had all said, she never complained or moaned but her grip on his hand was ferocious and her silent tears seemed to flow endlessly, it was fair to say that they were all relieved when they finally got home. Bjorn wasn't taking no for an answer this time he told her to stay still and he got out of the truck and went round to her side. By the time he had managed to help her out of the car Benny had pulled in right behind them in the pool truck and he and Frida had got out. Frida gone into Christian's truck and picked up Anna's bag while Benny had grabbed the bucket just in time for Anna to be sick again. Once she had finished Bjorn told her to "Hold on tight Baby" Anna put her arms round his neck and Bjorn lifted her easily he made to go up the steps but was stopped in his tracks by Linda jogging across the yard "Mama, what's wrong? What's happened? You're not normally this bad on the first day" Linda sounded terrified and he felt Anna's Mama bear come to the fore as she fought not to show the full effects of her chemo. "It's ok my darling, I'm fine. Don't forget I've been to Mono and I'm always sick later in the night, it just happened to me in the drive because I'm home later and Papa's just fussing" Bjorn saw Linda settle at the calming tones of her Mama and realised just how much Anna would always protect her children and a lot of odd things like Linda agreeing to leave her alone on Christmas day made more sense, Linda probably hadn't been aware of how ill Anna was feeling, Anna had hidden the worst of it. Her breakdown with him in the bathroom last week also gained far more significance as he listened to her soothe Linda. His eyes met Benny's as they stood there and he fought back his emotions as he pulled strength from Benny's steady, understanding gaze.
He realised standing there that Christian knew more than he was letting on to Linda and both he and Anna were shielding her due to her high risk pregnancy. He felt Anna's imperceptible trembling and he took control "Linda it's cold and late darling, you shouldn't be out here and Mama certainly shouldn't be. Go in, she'll be fine. She's stubborn and tired but we've done the job we needed to do and now we all need rest. I love you. We love you and when we need you we will call you. We'll see you in the morning. Rest my darling girl" he said comfortingly "I've got her" he looked back at Benny and Frida "We've got her" he amended. Linda nodded thoroughly reassured, she came to kiss and hug her Mama goodnight and Bjorn shifted Anna in his arms a little so that Anna could reach Linda and while they were hugging he kissed the top of Linda's head. Christian came and joined the hug."Mama we're coming home tomorrow before the media storm hits us we'll camp out in the beach house" Anna nodded peacefully "Yes, see you tomorrow. I love you both. Don't worry. I'm on the last week. I'll be fine I promise you I'll be fine" Frida could see that Anna couldn't keep this up much longer and so took on her bossy Aunty persona "Come on you lot, it's freezing. Christian see you in the morning, Linda go and look after that baby, Bjorn get her indoors and Benny rinse out that bucket and leave it outside the truck for the morning" she winked at Benny and he had to hide a smile as she took over though it was clear why she was doing it.
They all split up saying their goodbyes and Frida opened the door for Bjorn he went straight up the stairs with Anna brooking no argument whatsoever. He took her straight into the ensuite bathroom so she didn't have to walk and asked her if she needed a shower or the toilet. She was shivering violently "I don't know Bjorn" she managed "I'm so cold"
Bjorn made the decision for her "Ok, warm shower then and bed for both of us?" "You don't need to come to bed Bjorn it's only just 9pm baby" "Well let's see how we go after your shower"
He was concerned by the level of her shivering and moved quickly to get the water warm. Her teeth were chattering but she still was trying to say she was sorry. He reassured her firmly and swooped down to kiss her trembling lips "Hold on to me baby, Frida told me this would happen, it's ok. You can't help being cold and in a minute I expect you'll be boiling hot" he deliberately injected humour into his tone and it had the desired effect and she giggled unwillingly "You're right" she managed "and you won't be able to do right from wrong this week for me" she held tightly to his hand "I don't mean it" He stroked her hair gently "I know baby" he soothed, prepared to repeat the same conversation as many times as she needed
He sat with her while she warmed up in the shower and then helped her out when she was done. "What do you want to do now Anna?" he asked gently "I want my t shirt and I want to go to bed, I need my tablets" she answered tiredly "Ok, one thing at a time" he swung her towel clad person up into his arms and carried her to the bed "Which t shirt?" he enquired "My t shirt" there was exasperation in her tone "Where do I find it Anna?" he asked patiently "In that drawer there" she pointed out the right one he rummaged in the drawer that she had indicated and couldn't help his soppy smile as he realised it was his tatty old t shirt that she wanted, it had been folded neatly and ironed, he carried it over and popped it on her head gently and she hissed with pain as he touched her skin "Sorry my beautiful girl, I'll try not to touch you again" he could see that her skin was starting to peel off around her cannula "Oh god Bjorn no, that's the last thing I want please, please don't stop touching me. You could just hold my hand if it bothers you, just until I sleep" Bjorn gently pulled her to her feet and tilted her chin up until she met his eyes "Not quite what I meant baby, I want to touch you ALL the time but I dont want to hurt you" she smiled gently "it'll hurt me worse if you don't touch me. I'm afraid I've got used to you again" she admitted. He kissed her gently "that's the nicest thing you've said to me today baby" He shoved back the bed covers and helped her in and then went downstairs to get her a drink to take her tablets with. He found Frida and Benny sat on the sofa watching tv, Benny turned to look at him "How's she doing?" he asked sympathetically "I don't think we should have gone to Mono, she's so tired" He filled a jug with water "Bjorn darling, she would have been tired anyway. You have to let her do the things she wants to do while she can, she knew what the consequences would be and she did it anyway. None of us could have stopped her" Frida said gently. Bjorn muttered under his breath as he accepted that what Frida said was right. "she wants me to stay with her until she sleeps then can one of you sit with her. I need to talk to my solicitor and I need to talk to Emma and Anna and check how they are doing at Vallentuna. "We both will sit with her Bjorn, don't worry" Benny reassured him. Frida got up and fetched a cup of chicken soup and a straw "Try it with her, tomorrow she really won't be able to because of her mouth ulcers and when you come down I'll do you an omelette, we've eaten today and I can't imagine you've eaten much. Bjorn leaned across and kissed Frida's cheek "Thank you" he said taking the soup "see you in a bit" and with that he went up the stairs.
Anna took her tablets and cuddled into Bjorn's side as he encouraged her to drink the soup, she managed to drink all of it through a straw and she was genuinely grateful "I'm so tired Bjorn" she whispered after a while "thank you for what you did for me today" Bjorn said quietly "I feel guilty that you've made yourself worse for me" he admitted "Bjorn, you've done so much for me in the last 6 weeks a photo is the least I can do and if you are still sure you want me after all of this then we will deal with Lena together. I'll always regret not fighting harder for you, I won't make the same mistake again" Bjorn could hear by her voice she was tiring rapidly but he responded anyway " Anna baby, you have nothing to prove to me, if anything it's the other way round. You've spent 40 years showing your love for me and all of us, you've kept us all safe and you've never told a soul how far this all really goes. You don't have to fight for me, you won me 50 years ago darling" he felt rather than saw her smile "I didn't make myself worse, this was always going to be the worst of them all. I'm just late home" she told him quietly "How are you feeling?"Bjorn asked worriedly "I'm tired, my skin is sore and I feel sick but nothing unusual, tomorrow will be worse" Bjorn sighed gently and said "Close your eyes baby, go to sleep" He kissed the top of her head and she settled in his arms. He stared into the darkness as he held her and for the first time in decades he found himself praying to he knew not what to spare her this, to give them a chance to make it right and much as he fought them he could not hold back his silent tears of despair "I love you baby" he whispered to her sleeping form "You have to fight for me, I'm nothing without you. We belong together"
He took comfort in the steady rise and fall of her chest and he could feel her heartbeat, the plans that he had for the evening after she was sleeping were forgotten as he lost himself in listening to her breathe. Her presence fought his own demons and he soothed hers when they came for her, even when she did not wake he felt them come and he chased them away for her. He stood guard for the whole of that night and in the darkest time just before dawn he knew what he had to do. His path was finally clear to him.
